I just learned something terrible about myself. A lot of people hear me as if I were their father.
You see, in my family I was the dunce… meaning stupid. And even though I had straight A grades, and I was good at everything I tried, I remained stupid for my family.
How this works I don’t know. But this seems to be the dynamic: people make a decision about you, and then they never really look at you again.
You take it on, as the truth, and freeze into it. You allow it to guide you through life.
With me it was a little different, because I am defiant. I am not defiant to the person who speaks it, I am defiant to the saying. I am going to prove them wrong.
My brother, my older brother was the apple of my mother’s eye. He was smart, and good looking. And a boy. He had no challenge (as far as I can see it) because he didn’t look at life’s challenges as challenges… he didn’t study, and his grades were pitiful. Continue reading “Fighting windmills? No time to do good stuff, let alone great stuff?”
It’s Tuesday and Rob Brezsny’s syndicated horoscopes landed in my inbox.
I read mine, and my blood turned cold.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In the coming weeks, you might want to read the last few pages of a book before you decide to actually dive in and devour the whole thing. I also suggest you take what I just said as a useful metaphor to apply in other areas. In general, it might be wise to surmise the probable outcomes of games, adventures, and experiments before you get totally involved. Try this fun exercise: Imagine you are a psychic prophet as you evaluate the long-range prospects of any influences that are vying to play a role in your future.
Fear. Fear that I am working on something that is going to turn out not what I want.
Very scary… in spite of the fact that I experiment all the time. That I rarely make a binding commitment to any path until it is already bringing its results.
I don’t set goals… and don’t commit to outcomes.
And yet, the fear was paralyzingly strong… Continue reading “Guidance, oracle… the final interpretation is up to you”
Success Loves Speed… why is that? what does that look like in real life?
I have a simple tale to share, and it will become clear:
I have liked this guy for quite some time. He sounded firm, no b.s., and he left a nice comment for my blog.
I asked for his skype contact and we spoke. He sounded like someone I should do a project with. He had skills I didn’t, research, finding joint venture partners, so we discussed what we could do together, and after some discussion we settled on creating a product together: he interviews me on how to measure your vibration, how to measure anything, and stuff like that. Piece of cake.
We started out, had 3 audios made, when time came for the fourth, he was away on a hockey tournament for his son. Then finally he came back. It took us a long time to remember what we had been doing. Then he took a week off to do his taxes.
By that time I had no interest in doing the interviews, I had moved on to other projects.
Continue reading “Success Loves Speed”