What Is The Most Important Capacity To Master?

to the degree you judge, to the degree you are judged... by yourselfThis article is about comparing… I wrote it eight years ago… It is evergreen…

Ever since Saturday I have been observing myself putting myself down, devaluing myself. Telling people I am not such a good coach, etc. etc. etc.

I know what happened. I know exactly.

I watched this guy’s videos, I read his testimonials, I heard his superior facility to guide people and take them where he wanted them to go. I watched his 24/7 tireless enthusiasm to turn marginally interested people into fans. And I compared.

I compared.
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What if you have something blocking you from growing? The Seven Boulders principle

BoulderWhen you decide on an organizing principle, aka direction for your life, you’ll suddenly find yourself with obstacles blocking even your view of the horizon, let alone your path.

This article is about that…

Some ten years ago I learned a valuable way of looking at making life meaningful, or living a meaningful life. The teacher suggested that we pick a horizon, a direction, and then look what’s blocking the way of getting there.

Since then I saw that even seeing the horizon is blocked… Blocked by seven boulders, lined up one behind the other, blocking your view, blocking your movement.

So, in my coaching practice, when I ask people to set a direction, and they can’t see any, I am inclined to suggest that they choose the direction: living a meaningful live, or a fulfilled life… without specifying what it is.

The goal is to see the first boulder that blocks your view, that blocks your path.
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But what about fear? What shall I do if I am afraid?

Alexander the Great supposedly said:

Through every generation of the human race there has been a constant war, a war with fear. Those who have the courage to conquer it are made free and those who are conquered by it are made to suffer until they have the courage to defeat it, or death takes them.

Now, looking at it from the viewpoint of the fixed mindset versus the growth mindset you can see that the fixed mindset provides a barrier that promises you to keep you safe.

In the fixed mindset nothing is supposed to change: if you are great you’ll be celebrated, if you are stupid… well, the stupid should die… this was MY life principle for many decades… even if the stupid was me. Continue reading “But what about fear? What shall I do if I am afraid?”

What tragedy happened to humanity at the beginning of the 20th Century?

What happened to humanity, starting at the beginning of the 20th Century is a big tragedy.

Success literature happened.

And success gurus, success writers, motivational speakers, and the whole industry of the Lottery Approach.

The same thing happened in spirituality and in healing. Even religion was kinder to people… Even religion robbed them less that this new wave of success literature. Killing Life… for most people.

Liars, shysters, snake oil salesmen, con artists. all making money through selling lies. Teaching you things that don’t work.

Unfounded, untested, untrue.

With rare exceptions. Continue reading “What tragedy happened to humanity at the beginning of the 20th Century?”

Discouraged often?

My father was never discouraged. Not that he didn’t show it… he wasn’t discouraged. I remember him having doubts, whether something could work, but not discouraged. 1

So what did he have that most of you don’t have?

Let’s see first what discourage is on the level of feelings, and feelings dynamics? Because unless we know how a feeling is born, at the end of what process, we have no idea how to counter it.

Discouragement is one of the most harmful feelings you can have, because whenever it happens, it makes you reduce the size of the box you live in… And remember? What we want is grow… bigger box… so discouragement works against what we are up to here.

So here is the inner dynamic:
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Without trust there cannot be humility… Without humility there is no growth

As we saw, the two capacities, humility: (saying: I don’t know), and seeing the big picture/looking at the thing inside the big picture, are the most predictive of people who can and will correct their faulty mental picture of reality.

Of these humility is primary.

Humility is what gets us out of our head, and makes us look again.

The mood of this: maybe I didn’t see it right!

We all know people who didn’t look twice, and walked into a trap, walked into disaster with their heads high, no idea that the trap is there.

And how you do anything is how you do everything. So if that is you: it is all over the place for you, in every area of your life.
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Growth is like chocolate working out the lumps by itself

How to grow…I dreamed it. Or rather I was kept up by it…I dreamed BEING chocolate… Working out all the bumps and unevenness… And I knew what it meant.

Then I got up… ran to my computer to write it down, because it is so important… By now it is almost like an unreal memory… But this is how much I could capture for you:

The way to grow and growing into excellent is to keep making parts of you better, until there is nothing to make better. Even and smooth like chocolate.
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The “and” game… What your resistance says about you

bad attitude, the attitude of resistingI got lucky today. I got to see something I haven’t seen in a long time.

It’s been many years that I “shared” with anyone.

Sharing is a Landmark Education distinction: you talk about some gain in your life, in a particular way, and if you did it well, the other person gets a tiny bit more than just a whiff of what you are “sharing”; they get a taste of it. A taste of your gain…As if you’ve given them a bite of your triple chocolate fudge cake… lol.

We were both early for the exercise class, and she was really relieved that she wasn’t going to be the only student…

As I was changing to shorts, and gym shoes, I asked if it would be OK with her if I bragged… And she said yes.
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If you are one of my students who isn’t getting better… Or not as fast as you hoped you would

did-not-come-to-stop-hereIf you are one of my students who isn’t getting better… Or not as fast as you hoped you would, you should ask the question: Why you won’t follow a system, why you lie, why you’ll never amount to anything worthwhile?

This article will attempt to point you to some answers…

Our tendency to socialize and spend time with people with our lesser (at least in our not so humble opinion) is so strong, and so “normal”, that I expect you not to recognize it in yourself.

Why? Because the desire to do that does not come from our conscious self, it comes from our “other than conscious” self, the selfish gene.

Download the pdf version of this article at the end of the article
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When the guru is wrong…

thats-methed-up-dudeToday I learned a lesson so cruelly cutting, my stomach hurt from it.

Now, being on the other side of it, it has opened my eyes to so many things, I am surprised.

I found out that some of my carefully crafted assumptions based in decades of education might be wrong.

I have been fighting it for more than a week now… and finally, today, I had to face the piper.

The polar pitcher, the equipment I use for energizing water, has changed: the pitcher you get on Amazon today are slightly smaller than what I own and have based my water energizing system on.
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