I don’t want to be judged! you cry

Why would you think that someone will judge you? Simple... you have already judged yourself.

But why would you? Not everyone judge themselves. I, for example, don't... or not often at all. I often assess myself, my behavior, my looks, my stuff... but assessment does not carry condemnation in it, and it doesn't carry praise in it either.

What is the difference between judgment and assessment ?

The main difference is fixed mindset.

In judgment, the judging person lives as if there were a fixed good or bad, smart or stupid, right or wrong. And then they act as if they were assigned the job of judging...

So a high fixed mindset plus arrogance, superiority, plus high desire/low ambition numbers.

I have found that people with this combination are unable, unwilling, or resistant to do the work of the Playground. Continue reading "I don’t want to be judged! you cry"

People will always judge you and what you are doing. It’s part of the machine to judge.

People will always judge you and what you are doing. It's part of their machine.

There is nothing you can do about that. Judging is the only way humans have access to "what's happening". It is the right circle (the meaning and story circle)... and it is NEVER empty... You can call it meaning, you can call it story, you can call it judgment, you can call it commentary, you can call it whatever you want to: it never goes away.

Mother Teresa may be right... but doing it anyway, giving your best anyway, may be a really uphill struggle, unless... unless you set the context. She did... masterfully, and she made people "write big numbers" as a result. Continue reading "People will always judge you and what you are doing. It’s part of the machine to judge."

Do You Think You Can Tell WHAT You See?

Most of us are sure we can. We make decisions based on what we see, and our decisions and actions take us to live the life we live.

Most of us live a life of quiet desperation. It was true at the turn of the last century, and it is true now.

There was a discipline and coaching paradigm I studied and used about 9 years ago. It is based on axiology, the Nobel Prize nominated work of Robert Hartman.

Axiology is the study of value or quality. It is the science that deals with what is good and what is not. Beyond and independent of subjective judgment.

The test (Value Profile) we ran in axiology had 4 parameters by which we could map out the potential for success of any individual.

One of them relates to the title. The parameter is called "clarity".
Continue reading "Do You Think You Can Tell WHAT You See?"

Are You A Knucklehead?

Hey, when you are being a knucklehead... does it mean, you ARE a knucklehead? Or you are just doing the only exercise most people do: jumping into conclusions.

Listen if you can recognize yourself in these stories:

A lot of my clients find themselves in a trap...

For example, they make a mistake. They are frustrated. Or they are scared. Or they are angry. Or they are devastated. Even suicidal.

They say to themselves: Here I go again!... I am never going to get it right! I better give up while I am ahead! I am stupid! I am a loser! and on and on and on I could go with the examples how people abuse themselves.

Continue reading "Are You A Knucklehead?"