Beingness… the inner guidance that gives your behavior, actions, and ultimately your results

Not surprisingly, I hope, the difference between homo sapiens (thinking man) and Human Being is this elusive “thing”: beingness.

Beingness does not respond to words.

  • Beingness does not respond to words. Not even “declarations!”
  • It doesn’t respond to force, not even to force of will.
  • It doesn’t really respond to feelings either.
  • And: IMPORTANT! is not created by doing

It is a whole different ball of wax. The secret is on the seed level… whatever that means, right? lol

You can give a lot to charity, but not be charitable. You can smile a lot, but not be happy. You can fake it but you will not make it… there is ONE of the many misguiding, misleading slogans.

You can observe it, and yet know nothing about it.
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What can you do to finally start to amount to something, start to become worth a damn?

I am continuing the “fire in the belly” concept from the previous article

I am what you would call a “quickstart”…

Although conation (Kathy Kolbe’s testing method, most interested in how you do things) measures something innate, like it’s your nature, it can also give you indication about where you are leaking fire. When I look at people and their conation chart, the Kolbe index, I can see how they stay the same, how they avoid discomfort, how they dampen their fire.

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What is your self-image? Are self-image questions, personality profiles, Kolbe test give you a correct answer?

True-Self-Test-True-Self-IQThere is a fundamental built-in error in tests that involve answering questions about ourselves.

I have found that personality tests that rely on your knowing yourself and to predict what you would do in certain situations, are profoundly flawed. 1

I say this after working with thousands of people, one-on-one, observing them, feeling them (I am an empath) and comparing who and how they are compared to what they say about themselves.

The gap is significant between the two.

You believe yourself different from who you are, and you fill out your questionnaire by your belief. But your actions will still be consistent with who you really are, how you really behave, your real attitude, your real self, and you’ll be way off in your test results… 2

You’ll be like the mad hero, Don Quixote, who lived in a world of his own design, unaware that he was out of sync, and that his actions were mad in the real world. 3
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Knowledge, Strategy, Execution, is that enough for success?

michael-jordan-mental-representationI lead a workshop on Sunday. I had knowledge, I had strategy. I executed it. It was sloppy. What was missing?

I didn’t know. But “god” works in mysterious ways, the book I am reading has an answer that shows me what has been missing for me on Sunday and all my life.

The book, Peak, the new science of expertise, calls it Mental Representation.

Mental Representation is being able to see the finished product in your mind’s eye, and also see the process getting there, so you can anticipate missteps, and can correct, given that you know how it is, how it looks when it is perfect.
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The two styles of coaching, your chunky life, and what’s missing?

coaching-styles-diagram

  1. There are two styles of coaching (at least).

    One is like I did for 30+ years, the style I learned as an architecture student and later as an architecture teacher.

    You do equal or maybe more than the client. You are integral part of their final product.

    Depending on their skill and maturity, they will blossom or not.

    One important part of this, as a “growth” coach is much like a surgery: the deep hidden dark dynamic needs to be revealed.

    The second type, and the 67-step coaching is like that: you are there as a spotter, as a guide, but you ask the person coached to do their own surgery.
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More on why you can’t succeed alone

follow through aka systemsI just realized something: following an already established process, going step by step, is a whole different capacity than creating one.

I am weak at both, but I am literally unwilling to spend my limited energies to create a process.

The resistance is so strong, my neck and shoulders are hurting.

What is that about?

There are a lot of ways to analyze humans and their behaviors, and one of them is through conation, which is a, I guess, Latin word for inclination, or inner nature.

Kathy Kolbe created a few tests and she says that the amount of initiative, the amount of energy to start something is finite, and everyone’s can be divided to 20… so far so good, I hope.

The four drastically different ways to approach something, to initiate something are
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