Stay Open In The Pain. Experience it with eyes open

One of the humanity-wide issues is this: you feel something and then immediately jump to the meaning.

You CREATE the meaning with words.

The jump is from reality to unreality. The meaning never happened. It can’t even exist without the words…

  • This is how pain becomes suffering.
  • This is how fear becomes anxiety.
  • And this is how sadness becomes depression. Through the words.

And then you HONOR your words, your interpretation as reality… and you are hosed.

Your body’s job, by design, to give you feedback and give you warnings.

Then it is YOUR JOB to look and see if you need to do something, or not.

99% of the time there is nothing you need to do.

Instead of doing feeling what you feel, you either jump into some interpretation and you go into fixing mode, or ‘this shouldn’t be’ mode, or alternatively you suppress the feeling, and you ignore the guidance.

Either way you are digging your own grave…

I liken it to the phone ringing or making some noise. You don’t have to answer it. It is enough to check who is calling… but you can stay with what you are doing, and have the upper hand in life, instead of being tossed about at the phone’s pleasure.

Yehuda Berg says: Our spiritual work is to grow closer to others around us. Our obstacle to building bridges to other people is the hurts we stored. Perceived or real… When we don’t resolve conflicts in our relationships, our lives can’t move forward.

Today, tell your boyfriend or boss or brother exactly what you want, what you feel, what you think. You are going to worry about what they will say or think. And honestly, that’s the work. Just expose yourself and be vulnerable. Ask the Light to give you the strength to stay open in the pain.

Your soul will love you for having the courage to speak up.

You see, pain is inevitable in life. No matter where or when you were born, your financial situation, your family situation, whether you are fat or thin, sick or healthy, belong or is left out… pain is inevitable.

You have created every hurt in your life a reason to suffer. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

I just hung up on skype with a friend of mine from Architecture School, Panni. We went to architecture school together in Budapest, and we got together again a few years ago.

We now speak once or twice a week on skype, with camera. It is the most intimate medium ever, it is like we are sitting at her kitchen table and drink tea or coffee and talk.

Yet, it has taken this long to allow the other a glimpse into our pain.

Panni’s older son is a very capable guy… except that he never graduated from college… he went and started his own business. Then he bought a condo, planned to rebuild it… but he never finished it.

He married a pathological liar and now he has two children with her. After hiding for a few years, he met another woman… she is like a kid sister to his wife, they are so similar. Two more kids…

My friend hoped that this new woman would be different and would help her son to become a ‘whole and complete’ person who would finish what he started.

Panni does not understand that we MUST repeat the same situation until we learn our lesson, until we make the correction to our mindset or opinion that created the situation originally.

Panni, and billions of others don’t understand that life is not as empty and meaningless as it looks. That the game, we call Life, has laws, and there is no cheating.

Panni’s son needs to learn to stay open in the pain, face it like an adult, express his feelings, and be done with it. Instead he harbors it, suppresses it, and then he needs to repeat the cause of the pain. That is how it works.

You have the power.

In my classes we go back to the original incident and we see that in fact in that incident we created an identity that is rigid and its behavior is scripted…

It is hardwired in your nervous system, in your muscle memory, and you have been behaving consistent with that forever.

Unless we manage to return you to your real self, your innate natural self, your life is already on a greased slide heading into misery and pain… The pain of not being yourself.

In a simple exercise, finally after 37 years of attempting to cause this… I stumbled on a method that seems to be working… But it is still too early to be sure.

It is very promising. I did this exercise in two sessions of the Intention to Self program, and once with Bonnie in our Friday Distinction Podcast.

I will continue to work on this with Bonnie… until it is sure to ‘take’… and create roots… like a seed.

You can follow along and potentially get the same results. For pennies on the dollar.

Grow yourself together with Bonnie

How you look at something changes what you see

mind vs brainHow you look at something changes what you see. Everywhere.

If you manage to change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

This is a PhD level statement… and a popular meme. But that is the essence of context. Continue reading “How you look at something changes what you see”

Do something every day that scares you, they tell you

let fear guide youSome 35 years ago I participated in a Creativity Seminar. Creativity: LIVING at risk.

It taught: move towards the fear, call it excitement. Continue reading “Do something every day that scares you, they tell you”