The invisible dynamic: Wanting to win

If you play to win, you'll always play a small game.

Play to win in anything.

  • Win friends, and influence people.
  • Win an argument
  • Win a competition
  • Win at cards
  • Win at computer games
  • Win a reward, a salary, a compliment, a free examination from a vet
  • to look smart, respectable, well-thought-of, generous, holy, spiritual, humble... whatever will make you look, so you can live another day.

Continue reading "The invisible dynamic: Wanting to win"

The four core default contexts… or Why I stopped participating in Landmark Education?

the four core enforced by booksActually, I continued to participate in Landmark after the incident I'll tell you about... but NEVER intended to contribute any more. Or not really. I was participating from hurt... knowing that what was broken cannot be fixed.

18 years ago, as I was coaching someone, it became clear to me that there are this four core invisibles, that are underneath every issue, every distinction, every weird, unethical, unsavory action a human being makes. Continue reading "The four core default contexts… or Why I stopped participating in Landmark Education?"

How do I tame my fear of the unknown, the difficult, the tasks I need to do that I am ill-suited to do?

One day I'll have an editor. Or maybe a brilliant assistant. Someone who is good at things I am lousy at.

I have major holes in my brain. It started with my brain development in the womb. I am on the autistic spectrum, an experiment of sorts. Then I had my two massive brain injuries... One in 1969 and one in 1998.

So I was never good at putting things to order. Time order... what needs to get done first and what needs to get done next. Even just thinking about that, the brain cells that would do that work start to hurt. So maybe I should exercise them... hm... that is an idea. Continue reading "How do I tame my fear of the unknown, the difficult, the tasks I need to do that I am ill-suited to do?"

Are you building your self-esteem around things that hurt you?

shackledI am going to quote an email from Tai Lopez, because it is so useful.

He talks about a conversation with the founder of Quest bars... A protein bar I would never touch... but the guy is smart, at least what he says here is very smart, and I wish I had said what he said: (I got stuck at a few sentences, so I changed them around hoping they make more sense that way)

When I asked him what was ONE lesson he learned while scaling his business at a rate of 57,000% in just 3 years, this is what he told me:

"It matters a lot what you build your self-esteem around. Most people build their self-esteem around having the right answer, being right, being good, being smart -- all of those things are a death trap.
Continue reading "Are you building your self-esteem around things that hurt you?"

Getting to the bottom of the iceberg… It is like the One Ring that controls all

I had an impromptu (unplanned) conversation with a long time client yesterday. Unfortunately my recorder decided to run out of battery... so I didn't record it.

This woman is one example of the perfect client for me.

So what is a perfect client? A perfect client is one who is able and willing to do what they need to do to fulfill on my promise to them.

"My aim is to take you to a place where you are able to be well and stay well, make money and keep on making money, and feel good about yourself and keep feeling good about yourself"

Joel Salatin said: "I don't mind carrying a man, but I don't want them dragging their feet!"
Continue reading "Getting to the bottom of the iceberg… It is like the One Ring that controls all"

The size of your life is an indicator of the size of your possible happiness. What is the size of your life?

The size of your life is an indicator of the size of your possible happiness. What is the size of your life?

In the Playground, people do the work in pairs... we call these Partner Calls.

A partner call needs to be about a problem that came up in an incident. It is less talking than looking.

The person who talks, while the other listens, looks at the incident and attempts to take it through a set of looking points... we call that a script.

The looking points are filters through which the incident suddenly looks different... Richer, more detailed, looked through different vantage points.

The goal is to disappear the problem. A problem says that there is something wrong in the incident. Which indicates that the person's perception is not of reality but of meaning, interpretation, or rules.

The goal is to get to reality. In reality there is nothing wrong. All wrongs are added by the observer, they are not part of reality. Reality is the way it is... and all the wrongs take your power away to live life, to be intelligent, to solve real tasks, to be with people the way they are, to learn, to be productive, to feel good about yourself.

Ultimately the wrongs take your power away to live a live worth living.

The issues people deal with in the incidents are puny. All of them come from some perceived wrong in childhood, injustice, mistreatment, misjudging, etc.

With adult help, me, people can reframe the incidents in their lives, and the wrongs become less frequent, so they, the participants, can become available to solve REAL problems, if they are interested.

Suffering from those puny problems renders a person not available for life, for a life that is satisfying and makes a difference.

And because people cannot be happy unless they feel that they matter, that they make a difference, people are not happy.

The Playground is taking people, taking participants to the gate where happiness can become attainable. Where they can begin to be interested and available to solve bigger problems, worth solving.

Solve big problems, and your experience of life will be fulfilling.

The bigger problems you solve the more money you'll make and the more fulfillment you'll experience in life.

Obviously what you call a problem depends on your view of life.

And how you solve a problem depends on you too...

And thus YOU create your level of happiness... your life's experience.

You live in a world of your own design. And you live a life of your own design... Mostly unconscious...

I know you would not design a life that feels as bad as the life you are living, but in an unconscious way you have designed it...

This article is about how to design a life that you can enjoy. Your unconscious design has been given you the life you don't love... Your conscious design will give you the life you'll live... Continue reading "The size of your life is an indicator of the size of your possible happiness. What is the size of your life?"

Spiritual Laws that you obey or disobey at the expense of your vibration: The Law of Flexibility

nonresistance key to powerAsk anyone; the happiest moments of one's life are the moment when we find ourselves in our vertical self... or at least centered and grounded in the bottom of it.

It doesn't happen a lot, because we are brought up and encouraged to live in our horizontal being.
Continue reading "Spiritual Laws that you obey or disobey at the expense of your vibration: The Law of Flexibility"

Rules of engagement on the horizontal plane

my-best-friendI like French movies. For the most part they are off-kilter, and not obvious. Which means that they may not come from the mind, they may not come from the horizontal.

But, from time to time, they slip through a movie that pushes the band wagon, pushes the societal conspiracy to enslave you.

The movie that has been coming up in my mind with a sense of urgency, is the movie "My Best Friend". 1

That is a move where the main character, an art dealer, forced, by a bet, to befriend someone.
Continue reading "Rules of engagement on the horizontal plane"

Who is running your life, the entrepreneur you or the accountant you?

cutting-corners-lazyJust like a company, shrinking looks like a good way to increase profitability.

But business may be (it isn't) about profitability, but life isn't.

When someone asks me what is the surest path to Expanding Human Being, I always bring up Bob the Butler. Or the quote and principle from the Neal Stephenson book: Diamond Age. Start living an interesting life. When your goal is not to win every step of the way, it is not to shrink to the size that you can manage, but to grow through trials and failures to the sky: i.e. an interesting life.
Continue reading "Who is running your life, the entrepreneur you or the accountant you?"

What is the Self? Part 3: What happens when you find your self? Or after…

your fake self is very restrictiveWhat is the self? This question comes up again and again. Is it the same as the ego? Is it the same as soul? Is it this, is it that?

I have been asking this question as well. We didn't come to this world to know self, and definitely weren't allowed to get to know self.

The moment, in the cradle, you discovered that when you smiled adults got excited and gave you more attention, your corruption, the corruption of the untarnished, unspoiled self began.

The personality that you now honor as your self is on the circumference of your being. The circumference is rich in adjectives, adverbs, and poor in being.

You say I am this, and I am that, and I have to maintain this and that... or sometimes you say "being this" or "being that."

The moment there is a word after the word "being" we are moving away from Self.
Continue reading "What is the Self? Part 3: What happens when you find your self? Or after…"