I have a student who seems to be looking for reasons to be unhappy, angry, frustrated. And not surprisingly she finds something. Always.
She is working on her health and well-being, and part of that is to document every breakfast, lunch and dinner time what she eats, what she drinks, what she does, what she feels like, and whether she had a bowel movement or not. These are all indicators of her well-being and progress.
This morning I realized something: her diary says: bowel movement: small. She doesn’t say: bowel movement: yes (or no, whatever is the case.) No she says: small.
This realization lead me to look back and see that she wants to find something she can be unhappy about.
Now, this is actually very familiar to me. Bear with me, a lot of you have this, and if you can see it, you can do something about it.
I got a really great question yesterday from a student.
He asks: Is it possible to be with what you can’t accept, killing, rape, and such? And how do you do it without jeopardizing your personal values, your personal integrity, and at the same time still be able to be happy and not be mired in the dark energies of hatred?
This is a really great question. After all isn’t the world REALLY divided to right and wrong? Good or bad? And wouldn’t it put you on the side of bad and wrong if you accepted what you don’t agree with, what you don’t like, what you abhor?
The answer to the question, as almost always, is hidden in the question.
This is a very personal, very self-reflective post, I am not trying to teach anything. If you learn something, I am happy. But I am not writing it to teach. With that said… here it goes…
I have reduced my “work-load” to the degree, that I now often find myself with nothing to do.
I responded by making a list of things to do when there is nothing to do. I think this is the first time for a list like that: my life has been busy. Until now. It is not that I could not do a thousand and one things to grow my business, make myself fit, enjoy myself: it is just not on the schedule, so they are not part of “what there is to do…”
So my place is still a wreck, I still have tons of stuff I would not want to take with me if I wanted to move, so there could be a lot of things to do, if I just put them on my list.
Instead of that, I bought a book to read; it passed my picky muscle test. 1
It’s a book about a teenager. WTF? What was I thinking? But I trust my muscle test, so I kept reading it. It didn’t make sense why I “had to” read it until the very end. The end was so unexpected, that I was jolted out of my calm, and into a turmoil. Continue reading “Self-reflection through books, movies”
I first participated in what is now called Landmark Education back in 1985.
I lived in an immigration hostel, I worked as an architect and town planner in Jerusalem and I was miserable.
In quick succession two Russian immigrants killed themselves: I knew and liked them both. One of them was so determined that she manage to hang herself from the window bars, even though the parapet of the window was only about 20 inches…