Make your plane go where you want it to go… or what one thing you want to learn from Babe Ruth

Make your plane go where you want it to go...

This is probably the most shocking sentence in the whole 67 step program.

I literally don't know anyone who lives that way.

People try to succeed, try a diet, try this and try that... while their plane crashes in every area.

So what is the difference between who are like that, who are on their way to become that kind of person, and others who never ever land their plane on the landing strip? Continue reading "Make your plane go where you want it to go… or what one thing you want to learn from Babe Ruth"

The Enchanted Forest, Fairy Tales, and how to start living like a person

I have one student who actually is doing the work the way the work was meant to be done.

It sounds meager... but it is all I ever wanted... really.

If you have one student who actually does what you teach, you can tell if what you teach works or not. Or tweak what you teach to accommodate the difficulties they experience. And watch if the changes you made will make the results match what you intended to accomplish.

What do the rest of the people do? I mean the students in the same program? I am not sure. Apple polishing? Feeble attempts to fake me?

Humans live this fake, apple polishing lives, thinking that life should respond to their feeble attempts, to their intention, to their desire, or whatever the heck they were taught should change reality to what they want reality to be.

This, humanity, humans, include the millions of writers who dish out advice... Continue reading "The Enchanted Forest, Fairy Tales, and how to start living like a person"

What is real? What is made up? How can you tell?

I have read all the One minute books... I saw that the One Minute Manager touched on my Achilles' Heel...

Each of these One minute books teaches some attitude, or a thing to do, that makes you and the people you work with happier, more productive, etc.

Except...

Occam's razor says: everything should be as simple as it can be but not simpler.

Pop psychology is simplistic. You find yourself nodding vigorously as you read it. But when it comes to doing it... oops. You cannot do it.

The One Minute manager's job is to catch people doing the right things.

Most people cannot. Most people keep their eyes on what you do wrong, what they do wrong... what needs to be fixed. But most importantly they cannot see what is. Continue reading "What is real? What is made up? How can you tell?"

The grass doesn’t grow where you walk… does that make you special?

1. I think it was in 1991.

A manager of mine in Landmark said: you don't make a difference.

My answer was: then I must kill myself...

I was banned from participating for about 8 months. By that time the manager and everyone have forgotten the interaction.

It was significant to me, and not significant to them.

Today, I got that I was just one of most, including themselves, who didn't make a difference.

It sounds bad, doesn't it? Very bad indeed. From one vantage point. Continue reading "The grass doesn’t grow where you walk… does that make you special?"

Can you tell when you are stupid? dull? incoherent? Or do you wait until someone points it out to you?

One of the remarkable things in the book, Flowers for Algernon, is the new awareness Charlie (Charly) has about his mental state.

When he was just a retarded person, he could see the shadow of the mental feebleness, but once he got smarter, when his mental abilities decline, he can see it directly... not only the shadow.

Once you raised your cell hydration, which translates for most people to a brain surgery similar to Charlie's, you have a higher factual IQ. You should move to the same position as Charlie: when your cell hydration drops, you should notice it.

Of course, if you never realized that cell coherence increases your IQ... (mostly because you don't habitually acknowledge the source of any result, you take things for granted, no capacity for appreciation, etc.) you won't check your water... Continue reading "Can you tell when you are stupid? dull? incoherent? Or do you wait until someone points it out to you?"

Returning to the fork in the road where you took a wrong turn

If you find yourself on the wrong road... trace your way back to where you went astray... and choose a different road.

Why? Because trying to go across to where you really wanted to go, without going back,  is fraught with death traps.

Humanity, some seven thousand years ago, took a wrong turn. In just a few words: they started to replace reality with word pictures in the mind. Concepts.

This took us to where we are now: not a pretty place. Any and every human is afflicted: no one is exempt.

An "avatar's" job is to take you backwards so you can find your way from there... They have to have earned the right... by going back personally, backtracking themselves.

Most teachers try to cut across... oh the Buddhist, oh the Zen, oh the blah blah... they must know what they are talking about... b.s.

Maybe they know, maybe they don't. But you haven't done the journey back, so you are a second-hander at best, so shut the f... up!
Continue reading "Returning to the fork in the road where you took a wrong turn"

What you see… is it reality?

The view is different from the foot of the mountain than from the top

One of the weird thing about humans that they are stuck in their limited view of reality.

They don't even suspect that there is a different view from different points.

This is why almost every otherwise worthless therapist or coach can cause temporary results... because all they need to learn is to ask you to look a different way, through a different perspective, and voilà... magic happens.

The problem is that when you are left to your own devices, you rarely if ever think to activate the magic. The magic that is magical, but isn't magic.

Things look different from different perspectives, because that is what perspective means. Duh.

And because your life is given by what you see, if you are stuck, which seems to me is always, all you need to do is change the perspective.

I hardly know anyone who volunteers to do that. Continue reading "What you see… is it reality?"

Updated… or what does Freecell and the Groundhog day have in common?

One of the reasons you don't grow, is because the nature of time is that it goes one way. Forward. It doesn't stop, it doesn't go backwards, and mistakes are mistakes made.

But we, humans, are equipped with a brain that is able to model, replay, and practice, to turn mistakes into learning. Through repetition, or through thought experiments. But either way: being awake... And that is the first thing that's missing... being awake.

I bet you haven't taken advantage of that.

One huge insight I had when I realized that the version of Freecell I have on my newer computers is the type where you can undo many steps... or even go back to the beginning and do it again. Continue reading "Updated… or what does Freecell and the Groundhog day have in common?"

Coaching that gets results vs. coaching that sounds so transformational!

Being a coach is easy if you have no idea what they are doing, because you have never done it.

You just do what everyone else does, and hope for the best.

A "normal" coach only knows what they learned. Tree of Knowledge. Not worthless, but not authentic.

Most coaches have a mixed bag: they did some things, and learned others.

And a master coach is someone who not only has done it, but has done it successfully... and has produced success. Continue reading "Coaching that gets results vs. coaching that sounds so transformational!"

Your soul correction in your favorite movies, the ones that come up in your memory again and again

One of my favorite movies is a Coen brothers movie, True Grit

It comes up for me 4-5 times a year, to ponder who had the true grit... the little girl or the big drunkard marshal? 1

Which, as it turns out, isn't the right question.

Continue reading "Your soul correction in your favorite movies, the ones that come up in your memory again and again"