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Yesterday I was on a group coaching call where people had a chance to get on the ‘hot seat’, meaning they could lay out their issue and get coaching.
This is a business coaching group I am a part of.
A woman, beautiful, long raven hair asked to be on the hot seat. Spoke of some plans to increase her company’s revenue, and the suggestions came in, flying, from both the coach and the participants.
No one heard, no one saw, no one realized that the woman was in ‘needy’… Even though her voice, her words told everybody that her current revenue is now not enough to pay all the expenses…
An aside: The three most important needy issues that cross my desk are money, health and love. And none of your efforts can bring any results until you realize that you are needy… and learn how to get out of needy: real or imagined.
This is how you get into vibrational alignment with what you want. Money, health and love run from needy
So I opened my microphone and suggested that she first handles the need: increase the revenues from existing clients… so she can get out of needy, the real… and then she can faced the imaginary need… but that is for another coaching call… lol.
I could feel the room (zoom call) go cold, and resistant. Resentful.
It is much more fun to play the big project game than making sure that what you have is healthy, and your bills are paid.
Even the leader, who teaches and lives by: break the model before you break out of the model… meaning: max it out… make sure your core business pays all your bills before you add anything fancy, anything extracurricular…
Even him joined into the chorus of suggestions for windfall project ideas.
And the woman, long hair, beautiful, at some point acknowledged my contribution, but took it to the mind. She said: I can see that I am in scarcity mode… I need to get into abundance mode. Ugh, that is not what I said!
No. You can’t get into abundance mode unless you have actually taken care of what there is to take care of so you don’t need anything… instead of pretending that you don’t.
Needing anything, excludes you from abundance. You have two paths when you are in ‘needy’.
- 1. if it is a made up need, a want, admit that you don’t need what you say you need, what you feel you need… so you can let go of it.
- 2. if it is a real need: you need to do what there is to do to fill that need, so it goes away.
I successfully emerged from a long stretch of needy. The need was real: I lived from hand to mouth, rent date to rent date.
When I got ready to confront that I have to do something to get out of it, that no one is coming to rescue, least of all my mother, I got out of needy in a short few months.
Getting out of needy, the attitude was harder… I needed to get that no one owed me anything. I don’t do anything unless I am paid in advance. I don’t do anything for money I wouldn’t do for free (meaning I love it and the money is just gravy). So no one owed me, or owes me anything… That insight got me out of needy.
If you think life, people owe you anything, you will be in needy… so you need to change your mind about much.
Needy, the attitude, will kill your dreams, your happiness, and your integrity. Needy, the attitude is the soil from which poisonous results come from.
The attitude is more important in your results than your actions… it has more weight, in fact it may have all the weight.
Why is the attitude more important than what you actually do?
In the integrity statement it becomes explicit that all of the actions, doing the right things, doing them in time, doing them well, etc. don’t matter, unless the attitude you do them with, your seed level is ’empowering’.
What is empowering? you should ask.
Anything that makes the spirit fly… or want to fly, if it is not ready to fly yet.
This is why any effective leader, salesman, teacher, stops before they do what they do, lead, sell, or teach, stops and adjust their attitude. If and when they don’t, their results are not forthcoming… or literally toxic and destructive.
Any time you open your mouth say something… you are a leader… check your default attitude at the door.
Any action coming from an attitude that is not empowering to you, is going to be bearing toxic fruit.
One of the most frequent attitudes that go unnoticed and therefore ignored is neediness. We could even call it ‘wantiness’ if there were a word like that in the English language.
As you know I have created a ‘program’ where I have the privilege to observe and measure a group of people who attempt to do what they think will raise their vibration, change their relationship to reality, so they can live without flinching, without seeing wrong, and without seeing right.
That was a mouthful, right? Let me break it down… sorry.
I turned on a spiritual (DNA) capacity for a group of people, the capacity of nothing wrong/nothing to fix.
When that capacity is active, the activated DNA makes you see that life is just life, things are just things, without meaning, without drama, without making you better, worse, smart or stupid.
If there is a meaning there: it came from you. You added that. It is not part of the thing.
Things are whatever they are.
In Aristotle’s words, A is A.
But for people who don’t have that capacity active, A is never really A. A is not how it should be. Or A is not right. or A shouldn’t be A. Or A is better/worse than something else.
Homo Sapiens, out of the box, cannot see that A is A. And therefore they spend their life fighting A, rebelling about A, resisting A, complaining about A, suffering about A. Resigned about A.
This is why Thoreau said: the masses of humanity live in quiet desperation.
Having the capacity activated, allows you to eventually allow A to be A. That is a huge step, in evolutionary terms, towards the Original Design, towards becoming a Human Being. Until then you are homo sapiens, a lower species.
But seeing is not easy, and seeing is not instant.
Only about 10 people on earth today have that capacity active, have that ability to see A as A, and not as something that should be different.
And with the campaigning and the fragmentation of society, it is getting worse.
This is the environment in which I task my people to co-create with the capacity, and learn to see in a new way. Not to think. Thinking doesn’t help. You can think something that you don’t actually see, and it actually lowers your vibration: you are a liar… You are lying.
So your attitude is crucial… and unless you attend to it, the exercise backfires…
So let me get back to attitudes.
I said one of the most frequent attitudes that I see is needy. It says: I need to get this right or I am stupid, or wasting my time, or will suffer, or whatever.
It is subtle, and therefore most people miss it. We could even say, that 99.99% of people miss it, even if they know about needy… even if they know that they tend to have that attitude.
Attitude is your relationship to what you are facing. In the case of my group: your relationship to the exercise, to the result you want to produce, to the person who asked you to do it, to yourself.
In the new Bach diagnostic profile, to my surprise, I have seen attitudes I didn’t know were there. Not MY attitudes, the person’s attitudes.
Here is an example: a student of mine who alternates between cocky and deflated (flat) has an attitude that had been able to remain invisible, yet active, the attitude that ‘I should be perfect‘.
And because he can’t, because there is no such thing, perfection is made up, he becomes either delusional and therefore cocky, or deflated, because what a ‘perfect person‘ would get, he didn’t.
Only if and when he starts letting go of the need to be perfect… and can be just normal, will he be able to produce a life he can love.
But normal is an insult for someone who should be perfect… can you see that? Had you told Jesus, or Mohamed, or their followers that the dude was just a dude, you would offend them, and maybe get killed… because to the ‘perfect one‘ and his true believers it’s an insult.
By the way, soul correction here is very important: some soul corrections are more ‘perfect’ than others. It turns out that both my coaches are of the most ‘perfect’ soul correction, and they get offended really fast. Really really fast. And attack. Feel attacked. Ugh.
When your actions need to prove that you are perfect, then you are angry most of the time. How is that for a life? People are tiptoeing around you afraid of your flair ups…
No chance for happiness…
And in the DNA activation game you will be upset, and more upset, because your numbers don’t agree with your need to be perfect. Double whammy.
Another student, after she saw that her results dropped since the day before, wrote to me complaining that she doesn’t understand how that is possible, as she is doing all the work she knows to do…
I suggested that she finds out her attitude that ate her lunch by asking for her Bach diagnostic profile.
Why didn’t I just tell her? Two reasons:
- 1. I don’t know. I have to sit with it… a simple diagnostic like that can take me as long as 30 minutes of sitting in deep contemplation. It is the best hidden attitude you have
- 2. Giving away what she can get only by using my brilliance is a slap on Source’s face…
Do you want to find out what is the attitude that prevents your actions from being effective in life, and producing the results you hoped to produce? In money, health, love, fulfillment?
The Bach diagnostic profile is a great way to find out. I know you think you already know… but likely that you don’t… If you did, you would be out there producing the results you want… not reading this article.
Find out what you are up against…