How to get out of the trap seeing yourself as a victim?

quarterdoubleheadI once had a boy friend who refused to have sex with me when I wanted it, saying that I was using him. When he wanted… that was OK.

This article is a little sloppy, stream of consciousness… let me know if it is too sloppy… please.

I just had an interesting conversation with one of my students.

I have been suspicious as to why she was less than enthusiastic in her course work for the 67 steps coaching.

So I asked, this morning:

…answer one question: why are you in this program? What would you like to get out of it?

In terms of the good life…

I don’t mean to say that you are wrong, I mean to say that without being somewhat clear on what you want, you will only…

Fair question, right? You need to know why you are doing something if you want to do it well.

This was her answer:
Continue reading “How to get out of the trap seeing yourself as a victim?”

I was looking at trust, the intangible capacity to trust… and its role in becoming a winner

This article shows the connection between success, winning in life and the capacity to trust and generosity, the ability to be with win-win. The Selfish Gene prevents learning, prevents success, because the selfish gene is only interested in reproduction success. But luckily (?) both those genes, the gene for trust and the gene for generosity can be turned on. But… from that point on you need to keep them alive…

no trust - no winningIn the past four months that I have been able to turn on individual capacities for people, I have received no request to turn on trust.

Why is that?

After all people, rightly, asked me for self-trust. But self-trust won’t be enough.

So what can be the current worldview with regards to trust, that trust doesn’t come up as number one to turn on.

Because, whether you know it or not, without trust there is no winning. Without trust there is no flow. Without trust there is no fulfillment.

When I measured some winners in life, for whom it took years to hone their skills with which they won, money, recognition, admiration… trust was there, fully open.

As you probably already know, I use playing Freecell as my laboratory. It is much the way Richard Dawkins, The Selfish Gene author used the computer simulation “Prisoner’s Dilemma”… very enlightening for me.

So, what I saw today, and it’s only 6:45 am, lol, that without trust you can only play for keeps, or without trust you can’t open your eyes wide, and take steps that will only pay off 20-30 steps down the line. Continue reading “I was looking at trust, the intangible capacity to trust… and its role in becoming a winner”