Go beyond where you normally stop… But where? How? Show me the path…

Prologue

I woke up disgruntled... almost ready to go into devastation (which is my "home page") but it all changed as I sat down and began to write. What was going to be a rant, became a celebration.

I guess I wasn't stuck with or invested in resisting being someone who rants when I feel beaten, or slighted, or hurt... It seems that I accepted, embraced, and it got out of my face... All unconscious competence, by the way. I didn't have to sit around and analyze it... it just happened. ...and I could look and see the whole picture... as much as I can see from it.

This is exactly what I teach in the Playground... this is the goal: unconscious competence in getting unstuck, and being able to see the whole reality, with all its beauty and all its ugliness.

The article:

Go beyond where you normally stop... But where? How? Show me the path...

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There is no suffering, there is never anything wrong in reality. All suffering, all wrong is brought on by words…

myth... unrealityWe live in an imaginary reality... with literally no capacity, no ability to tell fact from fiction.

For the purposes of this conversation we'll define reality as something even a just landed Martian can see, a Martian who isn't complicit in the fiction we have been honoring as reality.

A Martian can see what is actually happening, but cannot see anything that is a cultural modification of the happening, or what happens inside your head.

So, for example, a Martian can see your mother talking, can hear voice coming out of your mother's mouth. But he won't see yelling, because yelling is a cultural, very emotional modification of speaking, even of speaking loudly. And a newly minted visitor on Earth, a Martian will not consider the meaning of the words, because the meaning isn't happening... Continue reading "There is no suffering, there is never anything wrong in reality. All suffering, all wrong is brought on by words…"

Making you smarter by increasing your brain’s neural connections

All thought that does not lead to action, said Goethe, is a disease. It’s like the Dalai Lama’s 3 levels of knowledge: Hear. Comprehend. Do. And do it until it becomes second nature... but not until then.

How is your brain pruning going?

I've known a lot if people in my long life. I have spent time with all kinds... Decades in off-color company.

One period I spent my time with gay people, men, in one of the one-time gay playgrounds of the world, Budapest. Party crowd... it was fun. Hard to achieve anything in the world, but fun... mostly.

Some of it wasn't fun. I was a girl... And I was not gay. So their sex parties weren't fun for me.

One person I met there was a young male prostitute with thick foundation (makeup) had syphilis. He wore the makeup to cover the lesions on his face.

And this article is interested in that coverup...

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Would asking better questions help you make real money?

Your IQ and your seeing clearly. How much you see and how clearly, how accurately

In an article earlier this week I mention that highly successful people don't get pulled out of their game as often and as readily as you do.

When we look what is the difference, we find that they have a higher IQ.

IQ is the number that approximate how much you can do with what you have.

With higher IQ they see clearer, they can tell apart different things, they can see narrowly and widely.

You have the IQ you have. You've had, most likely, the same IQ since you were born... so your inability to see, to see clearly, to tell different things apart has created a mind full of untruth. Continue reading "Would asking better questions help you make real money?"

Playground: it is never too late to have a happy childhood

The playground distinction: A simple distinction really... uncollapse reality and your commentary and you'll stop marker feelings (emotions) from pulling you out of your well-being.

A relatively short sentence... But like with everything that is simple: it is not easy.

It is not easy to see, and it is not easy to not leave the two sides collapsed... the world, religion, society, your rules fight against it.

Morality, societal rules, personal rules, ego

  • If your moral values come from religion, school, they will be hard to break
  • Your ego may have created rules in which you have to be smart, even smarter than others... hard to break
  • Your ancestral history may put you in a victim/abused/exploited mindset, and that is hard to break
  • Your soul correction may work actively against you growing, becoming whole and complete
  • and a lot more (Read the footnotes!)

In a previous article I mentioned that even though I even lead the Playground back in 1988, I got a huge breakdown that I could barely climb through in 1995 when my mother died.

How is that possible? I was already masterful at uncollapsing the two sides of the picture... so why? How? What was missing? Continue reading "Playground: it is never too late to have a happy childhood"

The secret of becoming impervious… the secret that really successful people don’t even know they have…

Impervious means: unaffected by, untouched by, immune to, invulnerable to, insusceptible to, resistant to, indifferent to, heedless of, insensible to, "he seemed impervious to the chill wind", impervious to insults, impervious to fear

Of course no one is impervious to anything really, or they would be dead... You need to be present and notice attacks, malicious intention, fear, pain, and everything that you need to protect yourself from.

The impervious we are talking about is the emotional unshakeability that spares you from a life of a roller coaster, from being reactive, from being judgmental, for going into despair or going to mania.

The kind of inner environment where you can actually have joy, contentment, and workability. Where you "horse" doesn't run away with you, hijacking you at the slightest irritation. Continue reading "The secret of becoming impervious… the secret that really successful people don’t even know they have…"

How some questions you ask will determine your whole life, the moment you answer them

This morning I have been experiencing an emotional roller coaster... as I am cycling through tens of people as I accidentally connect to them. Some gurus, Murakami, his wife, a marketing guru, my next door neighbor, my brother, some students, a site visitor from Hungary, my architecture school friend.

I can feel my face, my mouth... and I can recognize the micro expressions and identify them.

And then, of course, the emotions of my own reaction to their internal state... judgment, compassion, pity, sympathy... I don't with my life to my worst enemy.

I could write an article, a whole article, about each of them, but I'll write about a word that screwed up countless lives... and probably still is.

As you know, a large period of my life I was an architect. Architecture school, in Hungary, is something you choose after high school, and it's a five year study, every person takes the exact same classes.

The favorite or dreaded word of an architecture student was "talented" or "not talented".
Continue reading "How some questions you ask will determine your whole life, the moment you answer them"

Only people who are willing to go to hell and back can have real compassion and be happy.

rememberingIt's been a weird couple of days.

Every time I stop doing something my mind goes to evil acts I have seen in movies or read about in books.

It started with the Marco Polo series on Netflix. I realized that I can't watch betrayal... something about betrayal is too difficult for me to be with.

I wondered if it was that I saw myself in either the traitor or the betrayed, but I don't think it's that.

But it dislodged a veritable mound of buried memories of acts in books and other movies.

Download the pdf version of this article at the end of the article
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Updated: Learning lessons the hard way or the easy way: choose

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  • You can make the same mistake, over and over, expecting different results.
  • You can eventually learns from your mistakes, but you insist on making them a few times...
  • You can learn from other people's mistakes.

I am not talking here about your IQ? About ability?

I am talking about behavior. Behavior that comes from your world view, your self-view, and the number of the capacities you are wielding...

To consider doing things differently needs a modicum of humility. Modicum means: a little bit. Most people have none... Just watch a 3-year old: "Don't tell me what to do! I know!" yells the little boy... and they freeze into that attitude.

Humility is a capacity. Without some humility there in no curiosity, there is not real learning, there is no experimentation, thought or otherwise, there is not growth.

If you are a fatalist or determinist, 1 you probably have no humility.
If you find the juice in life in being a victim: you probably want no humility.

Thought experiments are tools for growth, tools for evolution...  2
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The Truth of the Story you tell… or how to change your future by changing the story

your story gives you your lifeYour story is boring, repetitive, and fixed. You tell it the same every time the same way, and it gives you a life of gloom and doom, an ever narrowing, ever more impoverished version of the Life you could have.

This article is about blowing some life into your story, so you can have more life.

"Know something, sugar? Stories only happen to people who can tell them." - Allan Gurganus

Gurganus is right. The truth happens to everyone, but stories only happen to people who can tell them. And tell them well...
Continue reading "The Truth of the Story you tell… or how to change your future by changing the story"