I woke up disgruntled... almost ready to go into devastation (which is my "home page") but it all changed as I sat down and began to write. What was going to be a rant, became a celebration.
I guess I wasn't stuck with or invested in resisting being someone who rants when I feel beaten, or slighted, or hurt... It seems that I accepted, embraced, and it got out of my face... All unconscious competence, by the way. I didn't have to sit around and analyze it... it just happened. ...and I could look and see the whole picture... as much as I can see from it.
This is exactly what I teach in the Playground... this is the goal: unconscious competence in getting unstuck, and being able to see the whole reality, with all its beauty and all its ugliness.
Go beyond where you normally stop... But where? How? Show me the path...
All thought that does not lead to action, said Goethe, is a disease. It’s like the Dalai Lama’s 3 levels of knowledge: Hear. Comprehend. Do. And do it until it becomes second nature... but not until then.
How is your brain pruning going?
I've known a lot if people in my long life. I have spent time with all kinds... Decades in off-color company.
One period I spent my time with gay people, men, in one of the one-time gay playgrounds of the world, Budapest. Party crowd... it was fun. Hard to achieve anything in the world, but fun... mostly.
Some of it wasn't fun. I was a girl... And I was not gay. So their sex parties weren't fun for me.
One person I met there was a young male prostitute with thick foundation (makeup) had syphilis. He wore the makeup to cover the lesions on his face.
Impervious means: unaffected by, untouched by, immune to, invulnerable to, insusceptible to, resistant to, indifferent to, heedless of, insensible to, "he seemed impervious to the chill wind", impervious to insults, impervious to fear
Of course no one is impervious to anything really, or they would be dead... You need to be present and notice attacks, malicious intention, fear, pain, and everything that you need to protect yourself from.
The impervious we are talking about is the emotional unshakeability that spares you from a life of a roller coaster, from being reactive, from being judgmental, for going into despair or going to mania.
This morning I have been experiencing an emotional roller coaster... as I am cycling through tens of people as I accidentally connect to them. Some gurus, Murakami, his wife, a marketingguru, my next door neighbor, my brother, some students, a site visitor from Hungary, my architecture school friend.
I can feel my face, my mouth... and I can recognize the micro expressions and identify them.
And then, of course, the emotions of my own reaction to their internal state... judgment, compassion, pity, sympathy... I don't with my life to my worst enemy.
I could write an article, a whole article, about each of them, but I'll write about a word that screwed up countless lives... and probably still is.
As you know, a large period of my life I was an architect. Architecture school, in Hungary, is something you choose after high school, and it's a five year study, every person takes the exact same classes.
You can make the same mistake, over and over, expecting different results.
You can eventually learns from your mistakes, but you insist on making them a few times...
You can learn from other people's mistakes.
I am not talking here about your IQ? About ability?
I am talking about behavior. Behavior that comes from your world view, your self-view, and the number of the capacities you are wielding...
To consider doing things differently needs a modicum of humility. Modicum means: a little bit. Most people have none... Just watch a 3-year old: "Don't tell me what to do! I know!" yells the little boy... and they freeze into that attitude.
Humility is a capacity. Without some humility there in no curiosity, there is not real learning, there is no experimentation, thought or otherwise, there is not growth.
If you are a fatalist or determinist, 1 you probably have no humility.
If you find the juice in life in being a victim: you probably want no humility.
Your story is boring, repetitive, and fixed. You tell it the same every time the same way, and it gives you a life of gloom and doom, an ever narrowing, ever more impoverished version of the Life you could have.