Are you the solution or are you the problem?

I am sitting here. In a few hours I have a brainstorming call with a student of mine, who is, who has been, who is proving to be impossible to train... and I am scared and angry.

This article is the process in which I change my context for the call, so I can make a difference... or not... Inside the current context all I can do is yell... Not what I want my life to be. So, here we go...

Useless vs Priceless

Or said in another way: are you the solution or are you the problem?

As a little boy or as a little girl, you made some decisions about yourself, what it is that you were supposed to get, how to get what you want. Continue reading "Are you the solution or are you the problem?"

How some questions you ask will determine your whole life, the moment you answer them

This morning I have been experiencing an emotional roller coaster... as I am cycling through tens of people as I accidentally connect to them. Some gurus, Murakami, his wife, a marketing guru, my next door neighbor, my brother, some students, a site visitor from Hungary, my architecture school friend.

I can feel my face, my mouth... and I can recognize the micro expressions and identify them.

And then, of course, the emotions of my own reaction to their internal state... judgment, compassion, pity, sympathy... I don't with my life to my worst enemy.

I could write an article, a whole article, about each of them, but I'll write about a word that screwed up countless lives... and probably still is.

As you know, a large period of my life I was an architect. Architecture school, in Hungary, is something you choose after high school, and it's a five year study, every person takes the exact same classes.

The favorite or dreaded word of an architecture student was "talented" or "not talented".
Continue reading "How some questions you ask will determine your whole life, the moment you answer them"

Updated: Learning lessons the hard way or the easy way: choose

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  • You can make the same mistake, over and over, expecting different results.
  • You can eventually learns from your mistakes, but you insist on making them a few times...
  • You can learn from other people's mistakes.

I am not talking here about your IQ? About ability?

I am talking about behavior. Behavior that comes from your world view, your self-view, and the number of the capacities you are wielding...

To consider doing things differently needs a modicum of humility. Modicum means: a little bit. Most people have none... Just watch a 3-year old: "Don't tell me what to do! I know!" yells the little boy... and they freeze into that attitude.

Humility is a capacity. Without some humility there in no curiosity, there is not real learning, there is no experimentation, thought or otherwise, there is not growth.

If you are a fatalist or determinist, 1 you probably have no humility.
If you find the juice in life in being a victim: you probably want no humility.

Thought experiments are tools for growth, tools for evolution...  2
Download the pdf version of this article at the end of the article
Continue reading "Updated: Learning lessons the hard way or the easy way: choose"

Happiness is a rope dance, walking a thin line. No wonder you are not happy… or how lack of humility is the big issue

walking a thin line tight-rope dancerLittle more about humility... the cog in the wheel

One detrimental functions of "lack of humility" as a capacity, is that you can't change your mind about your past.

My Playground program was about changing your mind by changing your view...

At the time I didn't know about capacities, so I could not tell how come someone can and others can't change their mind.

In spite of all evidence to the contrary, in spite of all the reframing we did, only one person could change her mind, really, and even her, only changed her mind, retrospectively, when she finally got humility, the capacity, turned on.

It's clear to me now, that you can do all the right things and still get no results if you have something missing in the foundation.
Continue reading "Happiness is a rope dance, walking a thin line. No wonder you are not happy… or how lack of humility is the big issue"

Getting really smart is scary

flowers for algernoon, a tale of getting smartOne thing the book Flowers for Algernon did not prepare me for is how scary it is to get too smart too quickly.

I have been experimenting with different capacities... what they do, what behavior, what insight they possible.

One of these capacities increased my capacity (it had been turned on, but not fully utilized by me) to see many steps ahead and act accordingly.

And for the first time since I started this work, I got scared.
Continue reading "Getting really smart is scary"

What is the difference between a human and a human being? Simply put: ownership

human-vs-undeadMy work is to take humans from the Valley Of The Shadow Of Death to the Promised Land... to Human Beingness. This post might be an important milepost in that.

I read an article in the Howard Business Review that points out a world view that is at the root of you staying a potential, you staying an effect, in every area of your life.

Although the article is a business article, business is a great analogy to life. Another great analogy is travel.

Travel is a much easier, much more accessible activity, so I will use it, while, if you want to read the original business article, I am enclosing it. 1
Continue reading "What is the difference between a human and a human being? Simply put: ownership"

What or who prevents you from growing?

Never+love+anybody+who+treats+The seed or nuclear unit of "society" is family, or more precisely, marriage. Nucleus means "core".

Everything that society doesn't bear you to be, doesn't tolerate you to be, is also intolerable in marriage, even in a relationship.

What is a relationship?
Continue reading "What or who prevents you from growing?"

I have created a separate blog for Andy Shaw’s A Bug Free Mind

Men wanted for hazardous journey. Low wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of successTo answer the question in the title: I am not sure. I am guided...

In addition, a site where you can find all the "mind bugs" as Andy Shaw calls them, can be really useful.

My Playground program is the program where most of these "mind bugs" get driven up, but unless I write, in an organized fashion, our findings, it will be lost for humanity... and given the direction humanity is heading, that is really bad news.

By the way, I have been offering my special bonus for people who buy the Bug Free program through my link: a free month in my Playground program. It is a $40 program, and you can take it any time, just send me your receipt from Andy, and tell me when you want your month.

My experience has been, that removing even just one bug makes a huge difference, but removing 3-5 starts creating some elbow room for real change.

Continue reading "I have created a separate blog for Andy Shaw’s A Bug Free Mind"

Review: Is Andy Shaw’s book, A Bug Free Mind a fraud? Will you get successful reading it?

bug-free-mindThe original post was written BEFORE I got my copy of The Bug Free Mind book from Andy Shaw. This is the actual review:

I knew it was worth reading, (muscle tested it, of course) but I had no idea why. The truth value sounds like not enough, but compared to others' truth value, it is at least twice, and what may be even more important: it talks about things, it makes you think about things that no one else does... except me.

Continue reading "Review: Is Andy Shaw’s book, A Bug Free Mind a fraud? Will you get successful reading it?"