Are you the solution or are you the problem?

I am sitting here. In a few hours I have a brainstorming call with a student of mine, who is, who has been, who is proving to be impossible to train… and I am scared and angry.

This article is the process in which I change my context for the call, so I can make a difference… or not… Inside the current context all I can do is yell… Not what I want my life to be. So, here we go…

Useless vs Priceless

Or said in another way: are you the solution or are you the problem?

As a little boy or as a little girl, you made some decisions about yourself, what it is that you were supposed to get, how to get what you want. Continue reading “Are you the solution or are you the problem?”

How some questions you ask will determine your whole life, the moment you answer them

This morning I have been experiencing an emotional roller coaster… as I am cycling through tens of people as I accidentally connect to them. Some gurus, Murakami, his wife, a marketing guru, my next door neighbor, my brother, some students, a site visitor from Hungary, my architecture school friend.

I can feel my face, my mouth… and I can recognize the micro expressions and identify them.

And then, of course, the emotions of my own reaction to their internal state… judgment, compassion, pity, sympathy… I don’t with my life to my worst enemy.

I could write an article, a whole article, about each of them, but I’ll write about a word that screwed up countless lives… and probably still is.

As you know, a large period of my life I was an architect. Architecture school, in Hungary, is something you choose after high school, and it’s a five year study, every person takes the exact same classes.

The favorite or dreaded word of an architecture student was “talented” or “not talented”.
Continue reading “How some questions you ask will determine your whole life, the moment you answer them”

Happiness is a rope dance, walking a thin line. No wonder you are not happy… or how lack of humility is the big issue

walking a thin line tight-rope dancerLittle more about humility… the cog in the wheel

One detrimental functions of “lack of humility” as a capacity, is that you can’t change your mind about your past.

My Playground program was about changing your mind by changing your view…

At the time I didn’t know about capacities, so I could not tell how come someone can and others can’t change their mind.

In spite of all evidence to the contrary, in spite of all the reframing we did, only one person could change her mind, really, and even her, only changed her mind, retrospectively, when she finally got humility, the capacity, turned on.

It’s clear to me now, that you can do all the right things and still get no results if you have something missing in the foundation.
Continue reading “Happiness is a rope dance, walking a thin line. No wonder you are not happy… or how lack of humility is the big issue”

Getting really smart is scary

flowers for algernoon, a tale of getting smartOne thing the book Flowers for Algernon did not prepare me for is how scary it is to get too smart too quickly.

I have been experimenting with different capacities… what they do, what behavior, what insight they possible.

One of these capacities increased my capacity (it had been turned on, but not fully utilized by me) to see many steps ahead and act accordingly.

And for the first time since I started this work, I got scared.
Continue reading “Getting really smart is scary”

What is the difference between a human and a human being? Simply put: ownership

human-vs-undeadMy work is to take humans from the Valley Of The Shadow Of Death to the Promised Land… to Human Beingness. This post might be an important milepost in that.

I read an article in the Howard Business Review that points out a world view that is at the root of you staying a potential, you staying an effect, in every area of your life.

Although the article is a business article, business is a great analogy to life. Another great analogy is travel.

Travel is a much easier, much more accessible activity, so I will use it, while, if you want to read the original business article, I am enclosing it. 1
Continue reading “What is the difference between a human and a human being? Simply put: ownership”

What or who prevents you from growing?

Never+love+anybody+who+treats+The seed or nuclear unit of “society” is family, or more precisely, marriage. Nucleus means “core”.

Everything that society doesn’t bear you to be, doesn’t tolerate you to be, is also intolerable in marriage, even in a relationship.

What is a relationship?
Continue reading “What or who prevents you from growing?”