I am sitting here. In a few hours I have a brainstorming call with a student of mine, who is, who has been, who is proving to be impossible to train... and I am scared and angry.
This article is the process in which I change my context for the call, so I can make a difference... or not... Inside the current context all I can do is yell... Not what I want my life to be. So, here we go...
Useless vs Priceless
Or said in another way: are you the solution or are you the problem?
All thought that does not lead to action, said Goethe, is a disease. It’s like the Dalai Lama’s 3 levels of knowledge: Hear. Comprehend. Do. And do it until it becomes second nature... but not until then.
How is your brain pruning going?
I've known a lot if people in my long life. I have spent time with all kinds... Decades in off-color company.
One period I spent my time with gay people, men, in one of the one-time gay playgrounds of the world, Budapest. Party crowd... it was fun. Hard to achieve anything in the world, but fun... mostly.
Some of it wasn't fun. I was a girl... And I was not gay. So their sex parties weren't fun for me.
One person I met there was a young male prostitute with thick foundation (makeup) had syphilis. He wore the makeup to cover the lesions on his face.
This morning I have been experiencing an emotional roller coaster... as I am cycling through tens of people as I accidentally connect to them. Some gurus, Murakami, his wife, a marketingguru, my next door neighbor, my brother, some students, a site visitor from Hungary, my architecture school friend.
I can feel my face, my mouth... and I can recognize the micro expressions and identify them.
And then, of course, the emotions of my own reaction to their internal state... judgment, compassion, pity, sympathy... I don't with my life to my worst enemy.
I could write an article, a whole article, about each of them, but I'll write about a word that screwed up countless lives... and probably still is.
As you know, a large period of my life I was an architect. Architecture school, in Hungary, is something you choose after high school, and it's a five year study, every person takes the exact same classes.
You can make the same mistake, over and over, expecting different results.
You can eventually learns from your mistakes, but you insist on making them a few times...
You can learn from other people's mistakes.
I am not talking here about your IQ? About ability?
I am talking about behavior. Behavior that comes from your world view, your self-view, and the number of the capacities you are wielding...
To consider doing things differently needs a modicum of humility. Modicum means: a little bit. Most people have none... Just watch a 3-year old: "Don't tell me what to do! I know!" yells the little boy... and they freeze into that attitude.
Humility is a capacity. Without some humility there in no curiosity, there is not real learning, there is no experimentation, thought or otherwise, there is not growth.
If you are a fatalist or determinist, 1 you probably have no humility.
If you find the juice in life in being a victim: you probably want no humility.
Little more about humility... the cog in the wheel
One detrimental functions of "lack of humility" as a capacity, is that you can't change your mind about your past.
My Playground program was about changing your mind by changing your view...
At the time I didn't know about capacities, so I could not tell how come someone can and others can't change their mind.
In spite of all evidence to the contrary, in spite of all the reframing we did, only one person could change her mind, really, and even her, only changed her mind, retrospectively, when she finally got humility, the capacity, turned on.
I found this article today... I wrote it 18 months ago.
Of course at the time I had no idea that there are spiritual capacities, that they are encoded in the DNA, that they can be turned on, that I can turn them on... none of that.
So the article is a little outdated, and yet... many of the principles apply, they are timeless. Good reading.
One of the typical mistakes I see comes from the "culture" of instant, quick, magic buttons, magic bullets.
The idea that if you can imagine it you can do it.
It's not true, or it is not that simple.
We all understand that things take time to get up to speed, your car, an airplane, your computer, but we don't think that the same rule applies to us. We actually really think, really hope, that someone can touch us, a holy man or woman, and we will be healed, and throw away our cane, walker, and run away dancing, laughing, victorious.
This is what the fake gurus (i.e. the associates of the Dark Side) want us to believe.
For those of you who have been making ever tightening circle around the secret, you may call it the truth, this is first a big let-down. A disappointment.
But when you look again, it gives you your life back, your ship is again under your command... you can become a finder instead of a seeker of the secret.
"The secret of growth" you've known but wished to be different is this: find something that is rewarding on the short term and has the potential to be rewarding on the long term, and become the best at it.
Rewarding means you can see the fruit of your labor, and they are yours.
If it's playing computer games... then get good at that. And I am not kidding. Some of the best code breakers, computer experts come from computer game champions, and we need computer wizards.
Anything rewarding that you love to do starts to grow you, your skills, your intellect, and is a path to growth.
But instead you are not doing anything, because you are waiting for the right, the secret thing to do, that will take you right to the top, like an elevator.