Can someone you consider your equal be your teacher? Your coach?

Feel Superior -$5

Can someone you consider your equal be your teacher? Your coach?

This question has been coming up for me with some students. And one-by-one I let them go.

When I coach someone, and they answer: good idea! I know they have no respect for me.

Saying "good idea!" indicates that you could have come up with the same thing... that someone needs nothing beyond what you know and what you have, to say what they said, to suggest what they suggested.

This, in the normal course of events, tells me: it is time to cut the connection: there is nothing more I can do here: there is no willingness to be humble on the part of the student.

You could say: I have to earn their respect... but if I haven't thus far, chances are I never will.

It all boils down to humility. Continue reading "Can someone you consider your equal be your teacher? Your coach?"

Your life is like a boat on sea… Where it’s going is given by the drift 96%

Every learning is becoming. Every action that is aimed at learning but doesn't lead to becoming... is not learning, it is just a pretense. Treading water. The drift.

But becoming is not easy, and it takes longer than you would expect. OK, longer than I expect. Longer than I have been expecting... 🙁

Why? because some of the learning requires you to be "right there", ready for that particular learning. You first need to become ready. Continue reading "Your life is like a boat on sea… Where it’s going is given by the drift 96%"

How Actual Smart People Talk About Themselves

This is an article from The Atlantic... Hint: not by discussing IQ The I here is James Fallows... although I tend to agree with him. this is a companion article to my previous article on self-esteem...

If you just want to know what people who are actually smart think of themselves... talk about themselves, jump there...
by James Fallows Jan 6, 2018 Science

I've never met or interviewed Donald Trump, though like most of the world I feel amply exposed to his outlooks and styles of expression. So I can't say whether, in person, he somehow conveys the edge, the sparkle, the ability to connect, the layers of meaning that we usually associate with both emotional and analytical intelligence.

But I have had the chance over the years to meet and interview a large sampling of people whom the world views the way Trump views himself. That is, according to this morning's dispatches, as "like, really re," and "genius." Continue reading "How Actual Smart People Talk About Themselves"

The puzzle that is called “human”. Your theory matters…

Humans are unpredictable, a mystery, and therefore have given rise to many many theories.

The way humans examine things to make sense of them is by taking them apart. It works relative well with people, but with a living thing, it is not that effective.

So humans make up parts and elements... and some seem to work to one degree or another, but nothing quite works perfectly.

The mechanical models medical "sciences" use doesn't work well at all... we have more diseases than before...

The psychological models of ego, and subconscious, and beliefs, and such don't work well either... How do we know? Because the results are temporary, or there are no results. Life is simple... The results are the shadow... showing that the method worked or didn't work. Continue reading "The puzzle that is called “human”. Your theory matters…"

Why you can’t tell if somebody is smart or not… Because in the dark all cats are gray

One of the most surprising thing in the world of humans is that humans can't tell if they are smart or not. This error leads to lives that are not fulfilled, filled with fear, trepidation, or on the other extreme: boasting and disappointment. 1

I just watched two episodes of a Korean series where most people were dimwitted.

Dimwitted is just another word for "not smart"... but it is a good word because you can see that something is dimmed... as in "it's dark here... you can't see much".

I like this word because it is more accurate than most. Continue reading "Why you can’t tell if somebody is smart or not… Because in the dark all cats are gray"

Why and how I watch Netflix? How my Netflix diet is not binging?

Like with any diet, both the what and the how are crucially important.

I'll show you later in this article, that even if you eat the right things, if you eat wrongly, the how, you won't feel good... you won't get well. You won't be present to life.

And so it is with your Netflix diet as well.

Here is how I watch Netflix...

I watch only stuff that will teach me the skills by pointing me to the capacities I could distinguish and then practice. I even take notes!

Whenever I see something noteworthy, I stop and contemplate it for minutes... long minutes. I consider Netflix my mentor... Continue reading "Why and how I watch Netflix? How my Netflix diet is not binging?"

What is the negative energy you are trying to eliminate? The energy that blocks you?

Before i say anything else, all the illustrations about negative energy, negativity I use in this post are b.s. and harmful... The Hungarian Christmas pictures... I remember being a child...

Yesterday I was on a group coaching call where a so-called energy practitioner 1 got some marketing advice while others, including me, listened in.

She was discussing her marketing to sell her almost a thousand dollar course on clearing negative energy.

I have to admit that I have never sold a course for that much money. Never even thought I could. Never even thought it would be fair...

I spent the day after that call not wanting to do anything. Not even walk... lol. That is so rare, it is worth mentioning.

I slept well, I am taping my mouth shut again and I sleep a lot better.

I woke up somewhat revitalized and invigorated... = revigorated.

What do I mean revigorated?

Your first sign of getting dead is having less or no question. Continue reading "What is the negative energy you are trying to eliminate? The energy that blocks you?"

You can’t become extraordinary if you live an ordinary life

I am getting a lot of requests to teach people how to become people who live a life worth living, who excel in all four areas, all four pillars of the good life.

My answer is almost always: Sorry I can't help you.

But why?

Today I got lucky and got my answer in a pristine form.

My University classmate, Panni called me. We talk once a month. She is, of course an architect: we were classmates in architecture school, a five year study.

And she is a mother and a grandmother. Continue reading "You can’t become extraordinary if you live an ordinary life"

Want to be the one who is making the decisions in your life?

back-to-the-future-2This week has been a success for Life, and a disaster financially. Everyone was spending their money on turkey, I guess.

So I am going to announce some sales for this coming week. I'll make them good... so you'll buy.

Now, about the successes that lead me to a huge insight.

Everything that people do is guided by memes, and they think they decided to do it. And you think they decided to do it from the goodness of their heart, from the badness of their heart, whatever seem to be the case. But in fact they never decided anything... It is the memes that are doing the deciding. Continue reading "Want to be the one who is making the decisions in your life?"

What makes life worth living?

This article could be called a "life hack" which is a fashionable word nowadays. I don't mind... but whatever you'll call it will define it... Because what you'll call it will be a context... What? Yeah...

And context is the ultimate life hack.

Most people don't understand the distinction: context

Why is that a problem? Because of all the elements of life, context is the easiest to change. And when context changes, life changes.

So you don't understanding context means that life cannot change easily, cannot change fast.

Now you are interested, I hope.

Have you ever asked yourself: What am I doing? Continue reading "What makes life worth living?"