Your mind, your stupid part, has no direct knowledge about reality. It has no concern, no regard to reality... It has in it what the memes have programmed it to have... 1% reality, 99% b.s. And your mind is, therefore, your worst friend. It is killing YOU and it is killing your life... sometimes slowly, sometimes really fast. 1
What is an adult, what is a child... and does your ego-state (Child, Parent, Adult) influence how much money you have, how much love you have, how healthy you are? 1
In the starting point measurements I measure (#19) To what degree you have access to your adult capacities. 2 or asked in another way, how much does your adult run your life? The more adult the more results...
And how much is the child running your life, how much is it running your life to the ground?
Regardless, I am continuing on the theme, because this is one of the stumbling block for most of you... so although you don't know what is eating your lunch... although you have no idea how you are screwing up, I do, and I am here to help you till you get it. I already have a third article in the pipeline... ;-/
For decades one of my sore spots was that people refused to serve me, even though I paid them.
I remember saying to myself: my money is not good enough for you? and wept.
I had no idea how I "accomplished" that... in 20/20 hindsight it is still a little spotty.
What wasn't clear to me, never even occurred to me, how my attitude effected the service provider. My "To what degree you think of yourself:" starting point measure was, at the time, 70%. From my behavior I would have guessed it was higher.
Mainly I overrode what they said. I argued, I knew better, I acted with contempt...
What I didn't know then is that being a service provider needs to be a win, or no service.
A customer who is not happy is a drag on an provider, and not worth the little (or even a lot of) money they pay.
I went grocery shopping today on my own. I was carrying some 20 lbs of groceries up the steps to get home. 2
I ran into Leo, my musician friend. I explained to him that carrying those 20 lbs of groceries illustrated to me what it was like to climb the steps a year ago, when I was about 20 lbs heavier. In 18 months I shed 40 lbs.
OK, that was quite a mouthful. Sorry about that...
Wherever you are in life, in any area of your life, you are in ess. In ess your actions, your ideas, your advisement will come from a "source" that wants to maintain that ess... If you are fat... then maintain being fat. If you are inactive, then maintain inactivity. If you are always engaging in bombastic dreams, then maintain that... engaging in bombastic dreams.
UPDATE: I wrote this article in 2007... when I did a lot of business training, business coaching... So please consider that some of what I say in this article is outdated in that regard.
I ended my core group training, and as it seems I now have some energy to coach.
Instantly three "associates" called, on the same day, and I accepted all three for some friendly coaching: just for the fun of it.
Who or what kind of people are people I like to coach:
They need to have a business already. That shows courage and direction. That shows that they are above 95% of humanity, maybe even more. They are up to something and therefore the coaching can have a direction.
They need to need the coaching, and they need to know it. They need to request it and make a commitment to take the steps I recommend. Rare indeed.
One of these people probably won't have a big enough commitment and will be "fired" by me.
Another one of these people is probably going to want to quit when the going gets tough or make me do his work... I'll probably fire him.
The third guy will succeed, beyond his wildest dreams.
How do I know it? Because when I shared with him the article I wrote some three years ago on the method of turning a big ship around in a tight bay, he cried. I mean wept...
Then he found the video below: and sent it to me. He was "touched, moved and inspired."
He will take actions, even though it is his son's birthday and Easter all at the same time. Even though he has a wife with "good ideas" to keep him busy and off-track... 🙁