It seems that the biggest problem is that you are not looking at people and even if you think you are looking, you are only looking for what you think you can recognize… like a smile or a frown… but that is where you stop.
And if you ‘misdiagnose’ what you see, your response to it will be NOT emotionally intelligent, in fact it will be a false step.
Twice in my life I had a choice to choose being attracted to women… I mean mainly.
The first time the choice was made for me: when the woman found out that I had no history of being attracted to women, she said: “I won’t do that to you.” I was about 22.
The second time I found myself turned on by a woman dancing, and I clearly saw a choice. I saw that I could choose to pursue that, but with that I would choose a life of hiding, a life of not fitting in, a hard life. I chose not to go for it.
As a sex therapist, coach, I talk to a lot of people.