The path to beauty, goodness, and truth is through the ugly, the bad, maybe even the horrible, not around them
We all bow to a deity, the god of respectability. Looking good, being well thought of, getting respect.
Even animals pretend, just watch your cat… their survival depends on looking good to you… so they pretend…
To be authentic
…to have no need to pretend, being willing to be seen, warts an all, is more human, it is in the direction of the evolution of the species.
While you give your life to respectability, your life sours, your dreams die, you stop knowing who you are, where you are, what YOU want, what YOU want to do with your life. You don’t know who you are.
Very unpleasant and troubling feeling.
Most are stuck there, but some (you?) yearn to know and live in harmony with who they are… love themselves, but how do you go about it?
Bad news: you can only get to your true self, to your inner beauty, your inner goodness, your inner truth through wading through the ugly, the nasty, and the mountain of lies about you.
Good news: What you need to wade through is only a certain amount of ugly… 30, 50, 70? Depends on you and how much you sold out on respectability, status, on looking good.
There is a finite amount of ugly, though it is still a small army…
…that unless you can face it, without running from it, without judging it, without trying to unsee it, it is going to stay and multiply. and keep you in the world of pretense, where who you are is not who you pretend to be.
Now, I know it is a mouthful, but
ultimately that is the work. Seeing all the ugly about yourself. And make peace with it.
The help I can give, is to give you pointers, give you beacons so you will see the ugly by their light. And, of course, the Unconditional Love Activator, will make it a lot easier…
One such beacon is when you feel an urge to explain or justify.
If you stop for a moment and look behind that urge to justify your actions, you’ll see ugly. You’ll see that either you don’t trust yourself, or you don’t trust the other person to like you after you did what you believe is the right thing while you knew it wasn’t.
Don’t just stop explaining or justifying… no value there. Look. See the ugly in you. Own it.
The ego is the part of you that wants to stay the same. It wants you to resist looking because if you saw it, you’d want to change.
The ego is the part of you that you’ve been quietly and secretly in cahoots with… but, unfortunately, it is also the ego that could give you strength to accomplish.
But you limit what the ego can do for you by having more and more to hide, more and more falsehood to prove every day.
You look at every program with suspicion. Will this want me to change? Will this want me to look at what I have been hiding?
You say you want to change, you say you want a great life, but you are lying.
You can’t have the rose without the thorns, you can’t have night without day… Life has a certain order to it, but you want, with all your might, to go around it.
You want respect without giving respect, you want love without giving love, you want something for nothing, you want beauty without the ugly.
You invent religions, you invent gods, afterlife, karma, just to avoid having to face the truth about you.
You rearrange the furniture, do feng shui, invite a shaman in your home to get rid of evil spirit… but you go back, and there it is again: evil spirit. In you… The ugly that you have been hiding.
Everyone has ugliness inside, by the way. It is not just you.
You can see the ugly in others that means you are good or at least better. Nice. High minded.
Exactly the opposite is true.
All the nasty stuff you see in others is something you recognize because you have it.
They hold up a mirror for you to see it. But you run, but you hide, but you blame, smear, get angry.
You miss the lesson.
I am not saying it’s pleasant. But it is possible to bring a sober eye to the things you see and say: Hm… I see that. Hm, that’s ugly. or nasty. However you express yourself. Sober. Matter of fact. Flat.
To the degree you can own the ugliness, to the same degree it loses its hold on you.
Whatever you allow to be, allows you to be.
Beacon 3: Apologizing
Husband cheated on you? Notice the nastiness that comes up… it is choking you. Notice that you want to be nice… then the nastiness comes out… and you apologize.
Don’t apologize. Actually have it a goal to never have a reason to apologize.
If it comes out… then instead of pushing it back, and feeling shame, fear, rejoice. You got a chance to see the poison you carry around. And own it as yours.
Sit down and watch it simmer. Accept it for what it is. Embrace it. Do NOT justify, do NOT explain, just allow.
The longer you can watch it the less power it will have… Half done work (looking away, justifying) will bite your ass.
The beautiful you is behind the ugliness… it is not next to it, not in front of it, it is behind it.
As long as you have the ugly, all beautiful is a pretense… ugh, that hurts, right?
Now get to work. And let me know if and when you are ready for the Playground. Or Reclaim. Or both…
Oh, and don’t forget to stock up on the Unconditional Love Activator. You’ll need it.
The only thing that effects your quality of life is your own experience of yourself. Not your opinion of yourself. Instead your EXPERIENCE of yourself. Your actions come from that self-experience, aka self-image.
Others’ reaction to you or your actions merely brings that area into focus… your experience of yourself was already there.
Admonishment and your experience of yourself. Praise and your experience of yourself
If you read my horror story about Ayahausca, you know that the number of attachments on people were in the 30’s, and the type were spells… killing spells.
Even I got a bunch, because I didn’t cloak myself… Now I do. I got curious about spells… I am an educated woman, and spells belong to the uneducated and imaginative… My opinion strictly. I mean wanting spells, “getting” spells, and such. I am not necessarily talking about the witches, at least not all of them.