You cannot grow if you think that there is something wrong with you. You need to return to the starting point: there is nothing wrong with you, with who you are, what you think, what you feel, how you look. Nothing. And when you can be that place, then you can start to grow in any direction you wish. Really
A guru I used to know, had a conversation with members of his staff, when they wanted to marry someone.
In fact, he saw the couple.
The conversation’s purpose was to find out if the relationship can last or not.
The questions the guru asked of each half of the couple:
what is wrong with the other person
can you be (can you love them, tolerate them, live with them forever) with what’s wrong with them?