“Either everybody counts or nobody counts”

20 years ago I had my first entrepreneur value profile done.

It was some 30 pages long… too much English. But somewhere it said something like: You don’t work well THROUGH others…

Bummer…

A year or two worth of training later I got my certification to become a value profile consultant. Then I learned to see all that the 30 page said in English (meaning lots of words) at a glance on a grid.

My starting point measurements report is a lot like that grid. It is more meant for the coach/consultant to know how to guide you, than for you to enjoy reading to indulge your delusional self. Your delusional self loves the many words… I have watched people get all excited about the book “The Life You Were Meant to Live”… because they picked out the words they liked… No growth.

The more someone is determined to remain the same, the more they like that book…

Sigh.

So today, 20 years later, I looked at coaching, both as a client and as a provider. Continue reading ““Either everybody counts or nobody counts””

The empath’s guide to: How to not feel alone, isolated, abandoned, not belonging…

You look around. Everyone seems to have it better than you. They laugh, they hug, they walk hand in hand, kiss… or have friends who like them… but you? If feels like you have no one, no one cares about you, no one responds well to you… You are not getting enough “strokes”… from others.

A “stroke” (in Transactional Analysis) is a unit of social transaction. A hug. A nod. A smile. A hello, a thank you, a “how are you?”, or an f… you…. these are all social transactions. The more strokes you get the less your spine will shrivel up on you…

Continue reading “The empath’s guide to: How to not feel alone, isolated, abandoned, not belonging…”

The puzzle that is called “human”. Your theory matters…

Humans are an unpredictable mystery, and therefore have given rise to many many theories.

The way humans examine things to make sense of them is by taking them apart. It works relative well with people, but with a living thing, it is not that effective.

So humans make up parts and elements… and some seem to work to one degree or another, but nothing quite works perfectly.

The mechanical models medical “sciences” use doesn’t work well at all… we have more diseases than before…

The psychological models of ego, and subconscious, and beliefs, and such don’t work well either… How do we know? Because the results are temporary, or there are no results. Life is simple… The results are the shadow… showing that the method worked or didn’t work. Continue reading “The puzzle that is called “human”. Your theory matters…”

There is no suffering, there is never anything wrong in reality. All suffering, all wrong is brought on by words…

myth... unrealityWe live in an imaginary reality… with literally no capacity, no ability to tell fact from fiction.

For the purposes of this conversation we’ll define reality as something even a just landed Martian can see, a Martian who isn’t complicit 1 in the fiction we have been honoring as reality.

A Martian can see what is actually happening, but cannot see anything that is a cultural modification of the happening, or what happens inside your head.

So, for example, a Martian can see your mother talking, can hear voice coming out of your mother’s mouth. But he won’t see yelling, because yelling is a cultural, very emotional modification of speaking, even of speaking loudly. And a newly minted visitor on Earth, a Martian will not consider the meaning of the words, because the meaning isn’t happening… Continue reading “There is no suffering, there is never anything wrong in reality. All suffering, all wrong is brought on by words…”

Immersion learning, Holographic reading: the secret of billionaires…

Holographic learning: the only way to human being level

I am reading a book I don’t like. I was told by Source to read it… and I think I found the one sentence (so far) in the 700 page book that I needed to read. One sentence…

Reading, when it creates a world, a rich world to live in, to accomplish in, is holographic. Each book sharpens some area, fills in the missing or fuzzy details.

This one sentence has been that kind of a sentence. It was like a Flash of lightening. Continue reading “Immersion learning, Holographic reading: the secret of billionaires…”

Your life is like a boat on sea… Where it’s going is given by the drift 96%

Every learning is becoming. Every action that is aimed at learning but doesn’t lead to becoming… is not learning, it is just a pretense. Treading water. The drift.

But becoming is not easy, and it takes longer than you would expect. OK, longer than I expect. Longer than I have been expecting… 🙁

Why? because some of the learning requires you to be “right there”, ready for that particular learning. You first need to become ready. Continue reading “Your life is like a boat on sea… Where it’s going is given by the drift 96%”

What is the opposite of entitled?

what do I deserve?Every generation is more entitled than the previous one. Why? Let me explain…

If appreciative is the opposite of entitled… does that mean that all those people who are not appreciative are entitled?

Entitled 1 is a worldview. It is a ground-of-being phenomenon, invisible, like the floor. An unexamined truth. To you. But for the other, it is quite obvious… 2

So how do you know that you are not appreciative? that you are entitled?

This is how:

  • Even when you thank someone, they frown…
  • You may even be diligent in thanking someone, you may even feel a stab of thankfulness, but those thanks are the waves on the waters, not the bottom of the sea… The bottom of your sea is entitlement.

Continue reading “What is the opposite of entitled?”

The timeless is invisible to you… your actions are for the immediate and cheap

I am re-reading one of my favorite fiction books, Reamde by Neal Stephenson.

The book is slower than it was the first time. I saw only about 5% of it for the first time… But who I am and what I can see have changed subtly… I have two distinctions that I didn’t have when I first read it. I’ll share those two distinctions.

There are two characters in the book that manifest those two distinctions, Zula and Sokolov.

Honoring the timeless, what will never change… is one of the distinctions, and spending no, or only little time thinking of themselves.

Now, why these characters in a novel are worth reading is this: the normal person is not like them. They are someone to model after.

Without models, you and humanity are stuck in the ugliness we live in. If you can’t see the ugliness, then please leave now… You are part of the ugliness. Continue reading “The timeless is invisible to you… your actions are for the immediate and cheap”

…And I recoil from dirty laundry…

I should be doing some laundry. I have run out of socks… And anyways, I want to tame this beast of not doing my laundry.

I gather a load’s worth of stuff, carry it to the washing machine… and the distaste, the disgust is so strong… I take a beeline… and sit down by my computer.

Distaste, eh? Yeah, says muscle test. Disgust? yes. Was it always there? No. Was it from when i was 3? later… from age seven.

What was happening at age seven? I went to school. We had a live-in help: my mother was working on her Masters Degree, coming home around nine every night. My brother was about a year old… and was probably driving the live-in help bonkers.

And I recoil from dirty laundry…

I sit really quietly. The fear joins the distaste. I feel terror. I feel being beaten. Screamed at. Wrapped in wet sheets… Can’t breathe…

I must have wet my bed. I don’t remember. My body remembers. The fear, the disgust, the gagging.

The body remembers.
Continue reading “…And I recoil from dirty laundry…”

The Enchanted Forest, Fairy Tales, and how to start living like a person

I have one student who actually is doing the work the way the work was meant to be done.

It sounds meager… but it is all I ever wanted… really.

If you have one student who actually does what you teach, you can tell if what you teach works or not. Or tweak what you teach to accommodate the difficulties they experience. And watch if the changes you made will make the results match what you intended to accomplish.

What do the rest of the people do? I mean the students in the same program? I am not sure. Apple polishing? Feeble attempts to fake me?

Humans live this fake, apple polishing lives, thinking that life should respond to their feeble attempts, to their intention, to their desire, or whatever the heck they were taught should change reality to what they want reality to be.

This, humanity, humans, include the millions of writers who dish out advice… Continue reading “The Enchanted Forest, Fairy Tales, and how to start living like a person”