In this article I'll teach you something that has the potential to turn you into a happy, joyful person. No kidding.
Also, it can serve as the bridge between human and human being...
From that you can guess: the distinctions in this article are advanced.
At present, if you are a "normal" human, you are judging yourself and others. You are miserable, wretched, prone to get happy, get sad, get depressed at the drop of a hat.
I assert that you are judgmental, because distinctions are missing, and there is nothing wrong with you. Or them...
You are judgmental. You can't help it. You may try to control yourself, suppress it, but it isn't going anywhere. It is there. It's vicious. You judge yourself as much as you judge others. This is how you learned to be by modeling your parents, your teachers, your bosses, your church, your politicians.
For years I've seen that humans, humanity, are stuck in a place where happiness is impossible, accomplishment is not predictable, and health is touch and go.
I've had big hopes, selfish hopes, that I will be the one to unstuck you.
Lots of other people have this hope... and the hopes remain hopes, because you have a vested interest to keep what keeps you stuck in place? If we knew what keeps you stuck, maybe we could unstuck you.
One of my ex-students got offended when I suggested that she does her homework instead of having excuses. She left and she stopped visiting my site... I felt the 'F... you' from her... When I asked yesterday if she was angry, she said... "No, I just need to grow thicker skin..." Her health number is 7%.
One of my students took two years to finally get a job, because in her last job she felt judged... for being different. She is Chinese in a predominantly White country. Once I adjusted her diet... she is flying. She went from 10% to 50% in her health number.
Another student is judgmental and doesn't listen. She lives in systemic... even in the areas of food, marriage, children, smart... not a single step outside of it. Her health number is 7%.
If you are well, you can be in any state at any time
The article asking: where do you look to define your value got a lot of "hits" and comments.
Reading the answers I saw that some fundamental distinctions are missing, in spite of the fact that I have written about all of those before, on this blog.
So after reading the article about the three levels of value, you probably start to see a little bit the difference how the different levels of value change what assessment you make, how your appraisal, evaluation, estimation, measurement, judgment will be, looking from that level.
So let's look a little deeper and see with examples how that looks.
At least one reader got the point, and is now attempting to increase her capacity to stay present, to not run away, to not hide, when ugly shows up. And by ugly, I mean all kinds of uglies, selfish, evil, cruel, rude, angry, vicious, terrifying... you know which ones you run most from, don't you?
I also published an article a week or two ago about being astute. Astute is the ability and practice to tell one thing from another, with precision. To define something accurately. To see things for what they are.
Now, not surprisingly, the two issues are really one issue.
When you turn away, when you run away, when you avoid...
You can't argue with results... yet, we (you and I) catch ourselves not ever looking at the results, instead we look at something else...
When I poke into what that is, invariably I find that we pass a systemic judgment on some step in the process towards success, and that derails us from success.
What is a systemic judgment? It is one of the ways we look at value. It is a two-prong approach to life, a specific filter through which only the cultural aspects of a value show up, good or bad, useful or useless, black or white, moral or immoral, right or wrong.
It doesn't matter whether we look at ourselves, at other people or things... we seem to be stuck on this low-level of systemic judgment, and no success, no nurturing, no love, no appreciation, no fulfillment. Those live on the intrinsic level. Also no money, no results... and those live on the extrinsic level.
You are not stupid, you are just making your decisions emotionally
"If you want to live with the masses, think emotionally. If you want to live with the middle class, think positively. If you want live with the world class, think critically." --Steve Siebold
I have been impulsive and hasty as long as I can remember. And I have known myself, by my results, stupid, as long as I remember.
My results in any endeavor, any relationship, and the business of life have been anything but stellar. Mistakes, mistakes, mistakes.
The past 4-5 years I have been paying attention, but bad habits die slowly or never, and I am, for the most part, behaving the same way as I behaved all my life, hasty moves, jumping into conclusions, only to discover moments or days later that I didn't look before I leaped.
I wish I were flawless, but then I would be useless as a teacher: when you are effortlessly good at something, then you can't teach it: you have no distinctions in the area of your expertise. Only when you can go, through your own awareness, from bad to good, that you have something useful to offer to the world that wants to follow you.