This morning something pulled me back to bed after I got up.
I considered it guidance, and I got back to bed.
What came next was amazing: trips down memory lane, all centering around mental illness, mental stability, your TLB, and what was in common among the many people I remember so clearly, people I spent time with in mental institutions.
As an empath, other people's feelings, emotions tend to tug at me. today 99% of what I feel is not mine... But before I became conscious, before I started to climb the consciousness tree, 30% of the feelings I felt were mine. I also had a lot more noise in my head... all talking at the same time.
The only reason I know, with 20/20 hindsight, that I was hospitalized not for what I felt, is that none of the medication worked... I wasn't the person who was crazy, I just felt the craziness of others.
My theory of mental illness has always been that it is an escape... a hiding place.
A few years ago I made a lot of money selling my Sleep Rescue Remedy. It worked, and 80% of the buyers bought it again. All I needed to do is fill and ship bottles fast enough.
Sleep is a big problem, and unless it is solved, people are getting more and more incoherent and less and less brilliant, less and less able to contain their anger, frustration, fear, anxiety, or desires...
Sleep is a lot like eating: people are unwilling to be disciplined about it, and they pay the price. A big price.
But it is a potentially big money maker.
So why am I not pursuing it? After all making money is good, right?
My answer even surprised me: because it is boring.
If the caterpillar planned to become a butterfly, there would be no more butterflies.
In the famous marshmallow experiment by Walter Mischel. He said that the 30% of the kids that didn't eat the marshmallow, didn't even look at the marshmallow. They kept doing other things, keeping their eyes off the marshmallow. Consciously, intentionally, purposefully.
I have read a lot about that experiment, I have even written about it, but I didn't know that the "winners" avoided looking at the marshmallow. that piece was missing for me, until now. 1
All thought that does not lead to action, said Goethe, is a disease. It’s like the Dalai Lama’s 3 levels of knowledge: Hear. Comprehend. Do. And do it until it becomes second nature... but not until then.
How is your brain pruning going?
I've known a lot if people in my long life. I have spent time with all kinds... Decades in off-color company.
One period I spent my time with gay people, men, in one of the one-time gay playgrounds of the world, Budapest. Party crowd... it was fun. Hard to achieve anything in the world, but fun... mostly.
Some of it wasn't fun. I was a girl... And I was not gay. So their sex parties weren't fun for me.
One person I met there was a young male prostitute with thick foundation (makeup) had syphilis. He wore the makeup to cover the lesions on his face.
...in fact, without that secret switch you can't really get to 200 vibration, and if by accident (siphoning someone else's energy) you got there... you'll lose it... because to get to 200 and stay there... you need this capacity...
Everyone has a good firm suggestion what is the most important spiritual capacity of a person who'll go far... very far, or at least as far as experiencing the good life goes...
Because the good life is not very far... no matter what anyone says.
Every generation is more entitled than the previous one. Why? Let me explain...
If appreciative is the opposite of entitled... does that mean that all those people who are not appreciative are entitled?
Entitled 1 is a worldview. It is a ground-of-being phenomenon, invisible, like the floor. An unexamined truth. To you. But for the other, it is quite obvious... 2
So how do you know that you are not appreciative? that you are entitled?
This is how:
Even when you thank someone, they frown...
You may even be diligent in thanking someone, you may even feel a stab of thankfulness, but those thanks are the waves on the waters, not the bottom of the sea... The bottom of your sea is entitlement.
Is it worth it? Is it worth the bother, the effort, the work? Will it get me finally what I want?
One of the reasons people don't like to try new things is because they cannot judge whether they can do it or not. Whether it will be easy or not. Whether it will be pleasant and enjoyable or not.
How come? Why is it so difficult? Life is complex, and most of us have no tolerance for complexity. Complexity, ambivalence, ambiguity are normal, but the capacity to hold them becomes available to you in only at a certain brain development age... If you got stuck in young child brain development, that is most people, you have never developed the capacity.
Can you develop this capacity now? Of course you can. What is preventing you from doing it? Your low TLB number... you are a Twitchy Little Bastard... and you can't deal with complexity, confusion, or looking long enough to actually see something.
Some of my students, when they learned about my habit of looking long and more than just once... as a way to deal with my dyslexia, have started to practice the same... and their ability to hold controversy and ambivalence has increased... because of that practice. But if you fancy yourself smart, quick, etc. Looking long and hard is going to be difficult, because your precious "I" will tell you that only stupid people look long and hard.