Fighting windmills? No time to do good stuff, let alone great stuff?

I just learned something terrible about myself. A lot of people hear me as if I were their father.

You see, in my family I was the dunce… meaning stupid. And even though I had straight A grades, and I was good at everything I tried, I remained stupid for my family.

How this works I don’t know. But this seems to be the dynamic: people make a decision about you, and then they never really look at you again.

You take it on, as the truth, and freeze into it. You allow it to guide you through life.

With me it was a little different, because I am defiant. I am not defiant to the person who speaks it, I am defiant to the saying. I am going to prove them wrong.

My brother, my older brother was the apple of my mother’s eye. He was smart, and good looking. And a boy. He had no challenge (as far as I can see it) because he didn’t look at life’s challenges as challenges… he didn’t study, and his grades were pitiful. Continue reading “Fighting windmills? No time to do good stuff, let alone great stuff?”

What is your Self, your Dharma? Can you find it? Can you define yourself?

I have been doing a lot of work while I seemingly do nothing… or not much.

Something is driving me…

I used to say it this way: “I can’t do no other”… Continue reading “What is your Self, your Dharma? Can you find it? Can you define yourself?”

Regrets, Resentments, and other vicious Life-Killers

(quoted from daily kabbalah tuneup) Regrets, I’ve had a few … How many of us are stuck in ruts because we cling to past slights, traumas, missed opportunities, and betrayals? The best way to let go and move forward is to acknowledge and accept those negative things you did (or had done to you) as steps on the path that brought you to where you need to be today. Continue reading “Regrets, Resentments, and other vicious Life-Killers”