So I am listening to the "itch" calls from 2014, and I am mortified at the level of transformation... It is near zero.
Sometimes I put the cart in front of the horse...
The insight (the horse) on the two selves that unless they become a team, no transformation can happen, came since I did those amazing Itch calls in 2014... so no wonder that the results are missing...
What am I talking about?
Your machine, your particular machine, was built based on an incident. Or better said: a decision you made by you (or accepted about yourself) as a child. 1
So far so good... but the process doesn't stop there.
Almost all bad feelings you have come as a result of your delusional self, your precious "I" is scared of being devalued.
It is as if you were a gold plated coin pretending to be solid gold, and life would be continually threatening you to reveal your fakeness.
I used to be like you. I felt that there was a big gap between my accomplishments and my abilities... and maybe there was.
But most importantly, every little error, every little mistake I made or even just faced!!! jerked me down a hellish path... filling me with dread, and fear, and remorse, and regret, and who even knows words for those horrible feelings.
And mistakes? I made plenty.
I misunderstood, I jumped into conclusion, I tried to do something too fast before I even saw what the heck I was supposed to do... Put my foot in the mouth... lol.