How to become unbreakable, and unflappable?

White lotus grows out of mud… and creates beauty out of it. Peacocks eat poisonous berries and create beautiful plumage out of it… This article is about how to be like the white lotus, how to be like a peacock where life, and the circumstances don’t beat you down.

So, how to be like that, unbreakable


the song, Unbreakable, is exactly the opposite of what I am teaching in this article. That whole song is imagining a perfect world with a perfect “another” where they do all the things they are supposed to do so you can feel good, so you can feel loved…

The perfect prescription for unhappiness, fear, anxiety, disappointment, frustration… because people are the way they are. Because people aren’t even willing to be the perfect person for you, because it feels like a straight jacket. If you look in your own heart: you aren’t willing… and yet you expect others to abide by your standards… ugh… ugly.

Unflappable… loving life the way it is?


There is a long long answer, and there is a short answer.

I will give you the short answer first:

  1. learn that there is nothing wrong and nothing to fix.
  2. learn that the horizontal way of living where everything depends on people and their opinion of you, you become like them… and you are vulnerable and a slave to their opinion, to their beck and call, and you’ll be, with tiny breaks, miserable, till you die.

white-lotusThere is a movie by the Indian film maker, M Night Shyamalan, starred Bruce Willis. In that movie there are two characters:

  1. no matter what happens, he comes out of it unscathed – The Unbreakable
  2. no matter what happens, he is broken to pieces, shatters.

If you pay attention to the unbreakable character of Bruce Willis…

…what you’ll see is a certain flowing with his environment, a conscious awareness. He feels his way through life… and that obviously gives him an edge. It is as if he walked in a bubble, and the bubble would walk with him.

Is that a story, or is that actually possible for a mere mortal? Don’t try to remember all the stuff others have told you: I want you to empty your mind of preconceived notions, and have no prejudice, either way.

Cultures where the “floor” isn’t that things should be different, that there are things right and there are things wrong, where making a mistake is just making a mistake, are much more intelligent. Far East culture is that, a certain acceptance and allowing of what is to be what is.

People’s average IQ as measured by the IQ tests is noticeably higher than in cultures like America, regardless of color or race… it is the culture of wrong, should and shouldn’t that makes people less intelligent.

The other aspect is significant in Western culture and much less present in the Far East culture is taking things personally.

I am addressing cultures where the difference in base attitude, the attitude to life, is most different.

In the Western culture, where I live, people want the world and the circumstances to change as a condition of their happiness, productivity, actions.

When people think what they want, and I have asked, no one said: I would like to be happy, fulfilled, productive, and well, regardless what life metes out to me.

The idea that you can choose your attitude and that will, in turn empower you or disempower you, is alien to the Western culture: the dominant emotions are fear, trepidation, anxiety, and frustration.

This is not true, or not yet true (things are changing!) in Far East cultures.

The emotions that are dominant, determine your experience of life. Fear, trepidation, anxiety, and frustration will reduce your coherence, your intelligence, your accuracy, your results by far. And it is double “whammy”: both your experience and your results effect your circumstances… which means those emotions are unhappiness makers.


But it is possible to create a personal bubble of “there is nothing wrong here” and remove the triggers that create the emotions, and live, largely, in a Western society as if it were a Far Eastern, and be happy, fulfilled, content, effective, productive, kind, available, and become untouchable, unbreakable, impervious to the negative influences of the culture.

article-2229941-15E9D17E000005DC-698_634x444How do you become unbreakable?

You need to realize that wrong is a comparison: you arbitrarily determined what should be, and you call that right. But it is your personal take, and arrogant.

It is also a pedestrian way of relating to the world: where everything and everyone seem to be in the way, blocking YOU from getting what you want, getting where you want to go, and it feels entirely personal.

bubbleA person who needs life to be easy for them to feel well is a weakling, and his or her kind will be eliminated in the evolutionary near future.

The person who is able and willing to be strong and empowered in the face that life is: random, and impersonal, is the specimen whose seed will be the basis of the next evolutionary step.

The future depends on the individual, not on the masses. The number of people that can master their nature and their attitudes are few… and the future (and the present) is theirs.

Because they can be well, present, happy, productive, intelligent, and kind in the face of whatever life throws at them.

Does it take work? Does it take diligence?

You bet it does. But the truth is: the willingness activates the capacity to work on what’s important… and the unwillingness makes you quit.

What you say won’t matter… what you’ll do is all that matters.

Talk is cheap.

The Martyr Syndrome: do you have it?

squeaky wheel or martyr syndrome There is a new insight I have gained from my recent experience on the connection calls.

Some people (maybe all, at one time or another) have a breathtaking, breath blocking, experience, a feeling, or better said a bundle of feelings, that the Heaven on Earth (HOE) can’t eliminate.

I have been wondering what it is. Why is it so recognizable, almost like a signature: I can recognize from the “feeling” the person who has it. Same location in the body, same type of pressure, or sharp pain, or a gnawing sensation. Continue reading “The Martyr Syndrome: do you have it?”

The Unbreakable, or Are You Stuck In Your Thinking And Can’t See A Solution?

the Unbreakable Energy The Unbreakable

Let me start with a little story

In one of the most memorable exercises of all time, the leader asks a person to volunteer. The person needs to be a “certifiable” klutz, aka clumsy person.

Inadvertently the person always turns out to be a woman with a Ph.D.

In the first part of the exercise or demonstration, the leader throws a tennis ball to the volunteer which she either catches by trying too hard, or trying too hard and yet dropping the ball.

Everyone can see that she is a klutz.

After a while the leader says that they are going to play a different game. This time the volunteer doesn’t have to catch the ball. Instead they need to observe the ball and tell the leader which way the ball was spinning. To make the spin more visible, the leader takes out a think marker and blackens the seams of the tennis ball.

The volunteer agrees. The first ball falls on the podium while she is showing with her fingers which way the ball was spinning. The second ball falls on the podium and rolls into the corner. The volunteer walks there, picks it up, and throws it back to the leader.

The third ball is thrown, but the volunteer reaches for it with one hand, throws it back to the leader and with her hands now free, shows the leader which way the ball was spinning.

The fourth ball comes more forcefully. The volunteer reaches out with one hand, catches it, throws it back to the leader, and demonstrates which way the ball was spinning.

The fifth ball comes fast and far, but the volunteer steps in its direction, catches is with one hand and throws it back.

The audience that was holding their breath in this second part of the exercise starts to clap. The volunteer looks and doesn’t understand what is the cause for clapping.

She never realized she caught the ball, there was no sign of clumsiness at all.

What happened? The leader explains that the world shifted from being incompetent in the arena of catching balls into the arena of competence being able to see the spin of the ball.

In the arena of competence everything is approached with competence.

I experienced this exact phenomenon this morning.

For the past 6 weeks me, my websites, and my place have been under siege. I will not go into detail: I’ll just talk about the attack on the Energy Water.

The Energy Water is normal tap water driven through a 2-stage filter. When it comes out of the filter, its vibration varies between 80 and 100 on a scale of 1 to 1000.
Continue reading “The Unbreakable, or Are You Stuck In Your Thinking And Can’t See A Solution?”