A great little exercise to cause self-love…

Last night, in bed, I accidentally hugged myself.

Then, unexpectedly, I said to myself: I love you, little one. And then the "fun" began... The emotional dings, the doubt, the questioning, the grief.

Hoho... I said, what's going on?

The little voice said: why would you love me?

Because I do... I said.

Do you love me, even though the house looks like a mess?

I don't love your house, I love you. house, no house, mess, no mess... I love you.

oh. But do you love me even though I am getting old?
Continue reading "A great little exercise to cause self-love…"

What is the opposite of entitled?

what do I deserve?Every generation is more entitled than the previous one. Why? Let me explain...

If appreciative is the opposite of entitled... does that mean that all those people who are not appreciative are entitled?

Entitled 1 is a worldview. It is a ground-of-being phenomenon, invisible, like the floor. An unexamined truth. To you. But for the other, it is quite obvious... 2

So how do you know that you are not appreciative? that you are entitled?

This is how:

  • Even when you thank someone, they frown...
  • You may even be diligent in thanking someone, you may even feel a stab of thankfulness, but those thanks are the waves on the waters, not the bottom of the sea... The bottom of your sea is entitlement.

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Do you matter? Does your life matter? What is the most important skill to learn so your life will matter?

act as if your life matters so that it doesMattering is a feeling. Nothing matters and everything matters. But if you don't feel your life matters, then you'll live consistent with that...

Some mornings it is hard to write an article.

Ultimately, when I examine the possible causes, I find that I am scattered. My attention flitters, and it is looking for more reasons to flitter (flitting from one thing to another. Move quickly in an apparently random or purposeless manner).

I am sure you recognize yourself. Continue reading "Do you matter? Does your life matter? What is the most important skill to learn so your life will matter?"

The Unexamined Life Begins With The Unwillingness To Ask Tough Questions… Do You Know How To Ask Tough Questions?

asking questions is a sign of a good brain Here are 15 questions. They are not easy questions. It will take a little looking, a little pondering to answer them. Maybe even asking others... when the question asks for that.

I have some 50 more where these came from... at a later date I'll publish those too.

  1. Am I aware that someone always has it worse than me? Or do I keep my attention on what I don't have? Can I turn this around?
  2. Am I cheap? As in "cheap bastard." Who am I cheap with? Am I cheap with myself?

Continue reading "The Unexamined Life Begins With The Unwillingness To Ask Tough Questions… Do You Know How To Ask Tough Questions?"

Take back your life… Take back your power… The value of proving that you can

Taking-Back-What-The-Devil-Has-StolenAbout two years or so after I graduated from architecture school, I was assigned to manage a project. A big one. A university in Oran, Algeria.

I wasn't assigned because I was so good. Looking back I was green. I didn't have the vision. I didn't have the big picture. I didn't have even the small picture.

Then a new person came to manage the department, and he sent me back to be a draftsperson to prove myself from the ground up.

As any self-respecting arrogant person would, I said that I didn't have to prove anything... and I quit.

It was arguably the worst thing I could do for my career as an architect, and it created irreparable damage inwardly too... I damaged the trust between me and me, I damaged the trust between the ego and me. I now had quitting as an option... and it set me on a path of floating unhappy leaf... damaged goods, for a few years.
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A person can do well without doing good… but where is the spice of life?

slay dragons... it's an adventureBack in 1988 I declared that my life was going to be NOT about my life but about others... And that was the beginning of my REAL life...

This article is bulls eye, both in what it says and when it hit. September is a great month to call the beginning of the rest of your life... In certain cultures it is truly the time of the New Year...

And if this article is any good... and I think it's fabulous, borrowed with just cosmetic changes from the MondayMorningMemo.com it is the perfect guidance for this month.

Continue reading "A person can do well without doing good… but where is the spice of life?"

Why Am I Miserable? Why You Are Miserable? The Most Binding Agreements Are The Ones You Never Made

iceberg or what's below the sea level is more important to what's above: it can sink you Why Am I Miserable? Why You Are Miserable? The Most Binding Agreements Are The Ones You Never Made

I had a session with a client. The conversation went to one of my 'favorite' topics: why wives stop wanting intimacy after the children are born.

This is a big issue for men, and destroys many marriages.

Continue reading "Why Am I Miserable? Why You Are Miserable? The Most Binding Agreements Are The Ones You Never Made"