The life of a pinball… or Your expectations and your disappointments

Your expectations and your disappointments reveal to you and to everyone who knows anything about the unconscious world view that makes sure you are miserable.

You learned that the Universe, Reality, your body, other people are like a vending machine. Push a button and outcomes what you wanted.

Or a car, or an electric mixer. Mechanistic, there for your service.

Even the evil people, religion, law of attraction, manifestation people teach that... with one little twist: if you are good, then the machine will turn on and spit out what you wanted.

So these people with their little twist make it your own fault if and when it doesn't work.

But what you think about the world and the way the world works are very different.

And you go from expectation to disappointment, anger, dismay, disgust... according to your temperament. Continue reading "The life of a pinball… or Your expectations and your disappointments"

The Enchanted Forest, Fairy Tales, and how to start living like a person

I have one student who actually is doing the work the way the work was meant to be done.

It sounds meager... but it is all I ever wanted... really.

If you have one student who actually does what you teach, you can tell if what you teach works or not. Or tweak what you teach to accommodate the difficulties they experience. And watch if the changes you made will make the results match what you intended to accomplish.

What do the rest of the people do? I mean the students in the same program? I am not sure. Apple polishing? Feeble attempts to fake me?

Humans live this fake, apple polishing lives, thinking that life should respond to their feeble attempts, to their intention, to their desire, or whatever the heck they were taught should change reality to what they want reality to be.

This, humanity, humans, include the millions of writers who dish out advice... Continue reading "The Enchanted Forest, Fairy Tales, and how to start living like a person"

Pinpoint accuracy or shotgun method?

There are really two types of people when it comes to making more money: one group will chase the mirage, the lottery approach, winning, betting on schemes... and the other, the tiny group that sees that making more money is a natural fallout of becoming worth a damn. 1

I am interested in talking to the second group, the tiny group.

You see, knowing that you should become worth a damn is nice and dandy... but knowing with pinpoint accuracy where you aren't... what it is that you need to do next to increase your worth a damn factor is crucial.

Life is holographic. Maybe it is the Universe... but who am I to just repeat something I heard... I don't know about the Universe. But I do know about Life. Continue reading "Pinpoint accuracy or shotgun method?"

Your world is dominated by the invisible. Get to know it… or else…

Your world is dominated by the invisible. And the invisible is like muddy water, every shyster has their hand in it, stirring it. 1

But this article will be about you. About your chances of being able to live a life worth living. Largely. I mean worth living most of the time.

Why not all the time? And why not gloriously?

It is too much to ask. But compared to the tasteless, joyless, have-to life you now live, a life worth living, for most of the time, is an amazing thing...

So what is the invisible part, the muddy water, that dominates your life? That makes you not enjoy life, that makes you want to go to sleepwalk, to not feel, to not be present?

It is the memes, partially, and it is you, partially.

You have no distinctions...

Let me give you an example that will shed light to what distinctions are, and why they are important.

Let's imagine that you prepare for heart surgery. Continue reading "Your world is dominated by the invisible. Get to know it… or else…"

Equality, racist, collusion, big words you throw around

race,racist, racismYesterday I used the free community van to get to two stores I cannot get to easily on my own.

Note: in the illustrations I am not taking sides. I am illustrating that there is confusion and disagreement in what is race, what is racist, what is racism, and what it does is it makes people rigid, lie about what they think, and vote for Trump... ugh.

The driver of the van, PhD in sociology, asked if it bothered me if he continued to listen to NPR radio 1 . It was a public debate in Trump and if he was a racist.

I listened for at least half an hour, and observed that no one bothered to define what they meant by racist. Or what is racism. So the discussion was as if blind people were discussing the color of something... lots of talk. Lots of passion. Very little substance. Continue reading "Equality, racist, collusion, big words you throw around"

It’s all about the memes. If you catch them, life may start working…

I have at least 2-3 conversations each day that are so profound they should be made public. Sometimes i do...

Here is one from today:

helpless-haplessHim: Wow. I realized on yesterday’s call that there are memes and voices when I am on the call and they are disturbing me to get things more than I am doing. Or disturbing me to look, think and not going to the head. These voices are fear based. “What if I say something wrong, what if I can’t do what she says etc.” It went better yesterday because I was conscious of them and could decide to just let them be noises and have my attention on what you were saying instead.

Me: yes. it is the biggest reason people don’t do well. good catch. thank you for sharing.

I have one meme still very alive… “It is too hard!” lol

and another one, a little bit less “It is hopeless!”

Continue reading "It’s all about the memes. If you catch them, life may start working…"

Fighting windmills? No time to do good stuff, let alone great stuff?

I just learned something terrible about myself. A lot of people hear me as if I were their father.

You see, in my family I was the dunce... meaning stupid. And even though I had straight A grades, and I was good at everything I tried, I remained stupid for my family.

How this works I don't know. But this seems to be the dynamic: people make a decision about you, and then they never really look at you again.

You take it on, as the truth, and freeze into it. You allow it to guide you through life.

With me it was a little different, because I am defiant. I am not defiant to the person who speaks it, I am defiant to the saying. I am going to prove them wrong.

My brother, my older brother was the apple of my mother's eye. He was smart, and good looking. And a boy. He had no challenge (as far as I can see it) because he didn't look at life's challenges as challenges... he didn't study, and his grades were pitiful. Continue reading "Fighting windmills? No time to do good stuff, let alone great stuff?"

Reframing: What is your higher power?

Frame: Your higher power? 1

Back in 1988 I had an emotional meltdown. I suddenly remembered things from my childhood.

I was suggested by someone in Landmark that it would be beneficial for me to join an ACOA group. Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families.

I did. I had clear signals that I belonged. #1 of the identifying features of ACOA people is "I don't know who I am". 2

Anyway, an ACOA group is not a fun place. Continue reading "Reframing: What is your higher power?"

20 Blunt Truths About Life No One Wants to Admit

blunt truthsI have found this article on the Inc.com website

Some of it is true, some of it was new-agey b.s. So I am culling it... And in some of them I am going to add my two cents worth... for example the pursuit of happiness... I have learned something about that from Ayn Rand that surprised me.

Just one more thing: my students in my coaching program struggle with the concept of principle.

A principle is a fundamental truth or proposition that serves as the foundation for a system of belief or behavior or for a chain of reasoning.

A principle is not something that you just pull out of your, ahem, mind. We all want to be "independent thinkers" but the path to independent thinking is through learning the principles others discovered... precisely, verbatim. So, for our purposes: a principle is quoted from someone a lot smarter than us.

A quote. not rephrased, not your take on it, but a quote. Not every quote is a principle, but every principle is a quote.

These so called truths are not principles. They are the author's opinions. Don't honor them as principles... And if you find that your life is based on personal opinions... try to find principles to replace them with. Really. Every single one of them. You'll thank me for it, guaranteed.

You'll notice that I am a lot more interested in giving you the principle of principle guidedness... than those brutal truths the guy made up... Sorry guy!

20 Brutal Truths About Life No One Wants to Admit

Continue reading "20 Blunt Truths About Life No One Wants to Admit"

4 Stages of Consciousness… where do YOU live?

Four stages of consciousness

This is another seven years old article...

I read an interesting article on consciousness today that opened my eyes to something:

You can ask a question of yourself, and depending on the answer you can locate yourself on the map of consciousness quite reliably. And you could ask the question "what is your vibrational frequency?" and though you have no numbers, you'll know in what bracket you are by locating yourself on one of the stages.

The question is: What is my relationship to life? My life? Where is my consciousness?

There are four possible answers.

1. Life is happening to me.
2. Life is happening by me... i.e. I am causing my life
3. Life is happening through me... i.e. you are on this stage causing something to unfold through your special gift, or purpose
4. Life is me 1
Continue reading "4 Stages of Consciousness… where do YOU live?"