The third brain… immersion: the secret to mastery of life and growth

There are, in my experience, three thinking brains, at least potentially, in every human…

The first thinking brain, the mind, that is in cahoots, in collusion, working against you with the selfish gene. That is what creates a life of reactivity, full of fear, full of anxiety, full of sharp turns and devastating jerks. I’ve lived there… and I hated it.

The second thinking brain, the one that evaluates, reasons, figures stuff out, is slow and plodding, and hard work. Creates real solutions, keeps you out of trouble… but not fun.

And then there is the third thinking brain… the work of thinking is done in the background, on the back burner, while the foreground is silent, resting, or busy learning something new..

That is where I live now.

I am getting a few questions about that, and I decided to tell you as much as I can see… the mechanism is largely hidden from my view… It is in the background…

I’ll use myself, and clients’ and students’ stuff as illustrations…

In the past month I saw more maturing, more “going to the next level” than I had seen in all my career as a coach.
Continue reading “The third brain… immersion: the secret to mastery of life and growth”

The size of your life is an indicator of the size of your possible happiness. What is the size of your life?

The size of your life is an indicator of the size of your possible happiness. What is the size of your life?

In the Playground, people do the work in pairs… we call these Partner Calls.

A partner call needs to be about a problem that came up in an incident. It is less talking than looking.

The person who talks, while the other listens, looks at the incident and attempts to take it through a set of looking points… we call that a script.

The looking points are filters through which the incident suddenly looks different… Richer, more detailed, looked through different vantage points.

The goal is to disappear the problem. A problem says that there is something wrong in the incident. Which indicates that the person’s perception is not of reality but of meaning, interpretation, or rules.

The goal is to get to reality. In reality there is nothing wrong. All wrongs are added by the observer, they are not part of reality. Reality is the way it is… and all the wrongs take your power away to live life, to be intelligent, to solve real tasks, to be with people the way they are, to learn, to be productive, to feel good about yourself.

Ultimately the wrongs take your power away to live a live worth living.

The issues people deal with in the incidents are puny. All of them come from some perceived wrong in childhood, injustice, mistreatment, misjudging, etc.

With adult help, me, people can reframe the incidents in their lives, and the wrongs become less frequent, so they, the participants, can become available to solve REAL problems, if they are interested.

Suffering from those puny problems renders a person not available for life, for a life that is satisfying and makes a difference.

And because people cannot be happy unless they feel that they matter, that they make a difference, people are not happy.

The Playground is taking people, taking participants to the gate where happiness can become attainable. Where they can begin to be interested and available to solve bigger problems, worth solving.

Solve big problems, and your experience of life will be fulfilling.

The bigger problems you solve the more money you’ll make and the more fulfillment you’ll experience in life.

Obviously what you call a problem depends on your view of life.

And how you solve a problem depends on you too…

And thus YOU create your level of happiness… your life’s experience.

You live in a world of your own design. And you live a life of your own design… Mostly unconscious…

I know you would not design a life that feels as bad as the life you are living, but in an unconscious way you have designed it…

This article is about how to design a life that you can enjoy. Your unconscious design has been given you the life you don’t love… Your conscious design will give you the life you’ll live… Continue reading “The size of your life is an indicator of the size of your possible happiness. What is the size of your life?”

How a collage is a diagnostic tool


the field of admirer-admired collage“What does it matter how many lovers you have if none of them gives you the universe?” French psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan posed that question. I invite you to put it at the top of your list of hot topics to meditate on. In doing so, I trust you won’t use it as an excuse to disparage your companions for their inadequacies. Rather, I hope it will mobilize you to supercharge your intimate alliances; to deepen your awareness of the synergistic beauty you could create together; to heighten your ability to be given the universe by those whose fates are interwoven with yours.

In the current live course, from Upset to Communication we have come to the last of the four non-elevated fields of communication, Admirer-admired. My horoscope, above, for the coming week reflects that.

One of my students has already sent me her collage. It has given me a glimpse into her internal conversations that is deeper than I have ever seen… and I have known her for almost six years now.

Collages, where you go through pictures in magazines, or memes on the internet, are the best way to reveal to yourself your relationship, opinion, attitude about the world, about others, about yourself, about effort, ambition, etc.

Making collages has two parts:
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How do you pick a life philosophy, how do you pick a guru?

Tons of people come to my site to read my valuation of many gurus’ vibration. When they are done, they choose… How they choose, what they choose says everything about them, not about the guru, not about the method, not about the modality… but about them.

It tells ME what life-philosophy they subscribe to, by what ideology they live their lives. And also how happy they are…

Some ideologies are life affirming, others aren’t.

I spent some time today looking at certain things through this new concept: the fixed mindset.
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I found myself saying: I don’t need you to be different than you are. Refuse to be governed!

refuse to be governedYesterday, at the Days of Power energy download, people were blocking the flow. In the end I had to remove everyone from the call, and do the download by myself.

Today, when some of the people apologized, I found myself saying: I don’t need you to be where you are not. I don’t need you to be different than you are 1

I don’t think I have even thought that, let alone say that.

But it makes sense, now that I am examining that sentence. Continue reading “I found myself saying: I don’t need you to be different than you are. Refuse to be governed!”

Spirituality uses different tools than the mind, the world

approximationSpirituality, finding your way, finding your self, the path to living a life worth living use different tools from science, schools, the mind, and ordinary thinking.

Not just different tools, but tools used differently.

If you haven’t found what you are seeking… if your seeking has taken you on a wild goose chase only to find nothing of value for yourself… then you owe it to yourself to learn to use the tools and to use them in new ways.

Continue reading “Spirituality uses different tools than the mind, the world”

It is exactly 57 times more complicated than that…

i-wont-apologize-for-who-i-am-2The current state of science, knowledge is “one size fits all”.

Just do this and this and this… and you’ll be happy, wealthy, healthy, and in love.

Every profession has their “this is the way, this is the truth” postage stamp size area where they dance…

The medical establishment, pharmaceuticals, psychologists, religion, education, and even the “spiritual” or “alternative” people.

I am a people watcher. I watch their behavior. I watch what they welcome, love, what they tolerate, what they avoid.

I remember I was about 30, and I said:

this is exactly 57 times more complicated than that.

Continue reading “It is exactly 57 times more complicated than that…”

The path is very narrow

different-cognitive-thinkingYou can’t have it both ways… and you have to have it both ways

The West, the culture of the West is forcing. Forceful. Goal oriented. Mercantile.

No one is interested in the process, only in the result.

Western people are unhappy, and don’t even know the meaning of joy. Continue reading “The path is very narrow”

Tell me your problems and I’ll know the size of your life…

offended-3When your life is about you… when your life is about others… when your life is about ideas.. these are different sizes of a life you can have. In this article we’ll examine the effects of these levels on your peace of mind, level of fulfillment, the quality of your life.

We’ll start with me… and my experience.

In 1988 January 1, around 3 minutes after the ball dropped on Times Square, I declared something that ultimately turned my life around.

Download the pdf version of this article at the end of the article
Continue reading “Tell me your problems and I’ll know the size of your life…”

Limiting beliefs… what should you do about them?

you don't have to be great to start but you have to start to become greatLimiting beliefs… can you zap them like Christie Marie Sheldon pretends to do? Does listening to some guru, watching some Mind Valley video help you chuck them, change them, or eliminate them?

The answer is no. You can’t eliminate limiting beliefs, and they can’t eliminate limiting beliefs either.

Limiting beliefs will not go anywhere. You have to find another way to win: stop listening to them.

I have limiting beliefs, but you would not know from my actions. I don’t consider my mind chatter significant. I only listen to advisors that I hired… I never hired my mind chatter. Continue reading “Limiting beliefs… what should you do about them?”