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What is the number in your starting point measurements that most predicts how effective you are in life?

Theory induced blindness

I like to call the phenomenon of not being able to see what doesn't agree with your theory of life: theory induced blindness. A more popular and better known label for it is "confirmation bias".

You only hear what you agree with. Or more precisely, you only see what you recognize. And you only consider what you recognize as agreeing with your world view.

I see this every day with people who turn to me, who I coach, who I give a free strategy session to.

And I saw this in this video. 1 Continue reading "What is the number in your starting point measurements that most predicts how effective you are in life?"

Your world is dominated by the invisible. Get to know it… or else…

Your world is dominated by the invisible. And the invisible is like muddy water, every shyster has their hand in it, stirring it. 2

But this article will be about you. About your chances of being able to live a life worth living. Largely. I mean worth living most of the time.

Why not all the time? And why not gloriously?

It is too much to ask. But compared to the tasteless, joyless, have-to life you now live, a life worth living, for most of the time, is an amazing thing...

So what is the invisible part, the muddy water, that dominates your life? That makes you not enjoy life, that makes you want to go to sleepwalk, to not feel, to not be present?

It is the memes, partially, and it is you, partially.

You have no distinctions...

Let me give you an example that will shed light to what distinctions are, and why they are important.

Let's imagine that you prepare for heart surgery. Continue reading "Your world is dominated by the invisible. Get to know it… or else…"

Reframing: State change: Changing your emotional state

Frame: state change. Causing yourself or another to change their emotional state, aka attitude.

The myth of "IS"

One of the invisible tools the memes use, the memes that keep us trapped and unable to take control of our lives is to spew "is" on us.

OK, that was a long sentence. let me see if I can reword it. The memes freeze us into a life where we have no power. It is in the wording. The freezing power comes from the wording.

We have spoken about the having to, needing to, wanting to, and should... these are a group of tools the memes use to rob us of our own power, and render us puppets.

The tool that renders us powerless to change is the improper use of "is".

  • Whenever you feel you need to change, this meme tool is at work.
  • Whenever you point a blaming finger at yourself, at the world, or at others, this meme tool is at work.
  • It is under learned helplessness. It is under resignation, cynicism, and unless you learn to recognize it, you'll fight it... like Don Quixote was fighting the windmills. No chance to win.

Continue reading "Reframing: State change: Changing your emotional state"

Your life is like a boat on sea… Where it’s going is given by the drift 96%

Every learning is becoming. Every action that is aimed at learning but doesn't lead to becoming... is not learning, it is just a pretense. Treading water. The drift.

But becoming is not easy, and it takes longer than you would expect. OK, longer than I expect. Longer than I have been expecting... 🙁

Why? because some of the learning requires you to be "right there", ready for that particular learning. You first need to become ready. Continue reading "Your life is like a boat on sea… Where it’s going is given by the drift 96%"

How do you think of yourself less? What does that mean? Thinking of others? Becoming a do-gooder?

OK, I am going to clarify something that myself don't quite know how it works, and why it works that way.

So it may come out incomprehensible, botched up, and useless. But, in my view, it is worth to try...

Note: if you only read one example, make it #5!

OK, the issue: one of the measurements is to what degree your life is about you and your life... the words I use I borrowed from someone else... 1 and the words are "to what degree you think of yourself"... as a measure of humility i.e. how much room you have to learn and grow, how much room you have for the world, for work, for life... for others. Continue reading "How do you think of yourself less? What does that mean? Thinking of others? Becoming a do-gooder?"

Is consistency THE winning capacity?

I am on my eighth round of the 67 steps.

Obviously I am following what I learned when I was nine: you can spend a whole vacation reading a book, or a lifetime listening and working with 67 audios and not get bored with it.

Or the way Bruce Lee says the same thing: I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.

I have grown more in these 19 months than in any similar period in my life.

But...

Most people I watch are not present to what they are doing: it is habitual, which means mindless, stuck, plateaued. Continue reading "Is consistency THE winning capacity?"

Master your emotions by mastering the Amish Horse Training Method

If we didn't have words, we would have no emotions. All emotions come from words... some are yours, some are not...

The Amish Horse Training Method is to be able to hear all the words that create emotions... and hear them in a way, that gives you a choice to honor them or not, depending of the source of the words, the relevance of the words...

The Amish Horse Training Method returns you to the driving seat of your life...

Not surprisingly, for most students the first step towards mastery is mastering their attention. Unless you can control your attention, you are a putz... and are controlled by someone or something, but not you. And for you to be you, you need to call the shot.

The luckier students admit that they have a difficult time sticking with a book... because they can't pay attention to it, they can't understand, or they can't remember what they read. Or the do a narrative, argue with the book, agree, disagree... but have no idea what they actually read. They remember the arguing. Continue reading "Master your emotions by mastering the Amish Horse Training Method"

If it is easy to get, then it is worthless… Anything worthwhile is hard to master

One of my students gave me a kindle book for my birthday.

It's a book about practicing, for teachers. 2

The gift book came right on the heels of an insight I haven't shared with you.

I finished my third reading Ayn Rand's 1500 page philosophical novel. I still don't have my own words to say what she says.

I have one sentence, that is now mine, that I own, and the sentence is "A is A. If you wish it to be something else, then you are delusional." This is the cornerstone of Ayn Rand's philosophy, objectivism.

I am able to own one distinction. From the 1500 pages of dense philosophy.

I am OK with that. It's a process.

Continue reading "If it is easy to get, then it is worthless… Anything worthwhile is hard to master"

Add 20 points to your IQ

It is starting to dawn on me that the intellectual action of seeing the forest, in spite of the individual trees is not something everyone has been able to do.

Seeing.

Some people, when they are asked to say what is the forest, in our conversations: what is the principle, what is the context, they use jargon... like integrity, or responsibility, the word.

They remember it.

But remembering hearing it doesn't mean that they actually saw it.

Seeing the forest for the trees is 90% from the DNA capacity: Seeing the big picture, and 10% habit.

After courage, it is the second most missing capacity in humanity.

When activated, it adds 20 points to your IQ.

Continue reading "Add 20 points to your IQ"

Sharing. The misused word… just share… i.e. sell?

I know the word sharing gets thrown around in these emails quite a bit. Sometimes we become numb to the word. To get back to basics, sharing means giving something of ourselves.

It can be sharing with someone we're not used to sharing with. It can be opening up with someone we're not used to opening up to. It can be calling someone with whom we're holding a grudge and wishing them well and saying something nice, some words of wisdom. It can be anything. It just has to be an unconditional stretch.

As a certified est-hole and Landmark junkie, I have heard the urging "Share, share share."

In Landmark they mean "Bring more chumps like you so that Landmark can become a World Class Organization, here to stay." They mean: do our selling for us. No please, or anything... Maybe they don't, but that is how it lands for people.

In multilevel marketing companies (network marketing, MLM) they say the same thing, but mean, definitely, selling. Continue reading "Sharing. The misused word… just share… i.e. sell?"