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Finish What You Started, Complete What You Started but didn’t Finish?

… Or how do you destroy your life, little by little…

There is nothing more significant in destroying your self-image than starting something, with all the hopes and aspirations it takes to start something and abandoning in before it is finished.

Even if you knew yourself as a great person deserving of the dream you set out to accomplish with the project, by abandoning it, by leaving it in the middle, you declare yourself as undeserving, someone less than a match to your dreams.

When you don’t finish a project, you set yourself up for more of the same, it is a self-strengthening cycle.

It’s all downhill from there. You continue life with a lot of your life force lost to that incident. Now you know yourself as someone who can’t be counted on. Your experience of yourself is that you are a failure, a wannabe, and you hate yourself.
Continue reading “Finish What You Started, Complete What You Started but didn’t Finish?”

Do you feel responsible for what others say about you? The savior racket

Soul correction, responsibility, what is yours and what is not

First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt said it best: what others think about me is none of my business.

For most this is the hardest thing to learn. Continue reading “Do you feel responsible for what others say about you? The savior racket”

The size of your life is an indicator of the size of your possible happiness. What is the size of your life?

In the Playground, people do the work in pairs… we call these Partner Calls.

A partner call needs to be about a problem that came up in an incident. It is less talking than looking.

The person who talks, while the other listens, looks at the incident and attempts to take it through a set of looking points… we call that a script.

The looking points are filters through which the incident suddenly looks different… Richer, more detailed, looked through different vantage points.

The goal is to disappear the problem. A problem says that there is something wrong in the incident. Which indicates that the person’s perception is not of reality but of meaning, interpretation, or rules.

The goal is to get to reality. In reality there is nothing wrong. All wrongs are added by the observer, they are not part of reality. Reality is the way it is… and all the wrongs take your power away to live life, to be intelligent, to solve real tasks, to be with people the way they are, to learn, to be productive, to feel good about yourself.

Ultimately the wrongs take your power away to live a live worth living.

The issues people deal with in the incidents are puny. All of them come from some perceived wrong in childhood, injustice, mistreatment, misjudging, etc.

With adult help, me, people can reframe the incidents in their lives, and the wrongs become less frequent, so they, the participants, can become available to solve REAL problems, if they are interested.

Suffering from those puny problems renders a person not available for life, for a life that is satisfying and makes a difference.

And because people cannot be happy unless they feel that they matter, that they make a difference, people are not happy.

The Playground is taking people, taking participants to the gate where happiness can become attainable. Where they can begin to be interested and available to solve bigger problems, worth solving.

Solve big problems, and your experience of life will be fulfilling.

The bigger problems you solve the more money you’ll make and the more fulfillment you’ll experience in life.

Obviously what you call a problem depends on your view of life.

And how you solve a problem depends on you too…

And thus YOU create your level of happiness… your life’s experience.

You live in a world of your own design. And you live a life of your own design… Mostly unconscious…

I know you would not design a life that feels as bad as the life you are living, but in an unconscious way you have designed it…

This article is about how to design a life that you can enjoy. Your unconscious design has been given you the life you don’t love… Your conscious design will give you the life you’ll live… Continue reading “The size of your life is an indicator of the size of your possible happiness. What is the size of your life?”

As important as a yes… is a no. Actually, you’ll be left with the authentic yes

I own a business… This blog is part of it.

I am on hundreds of marketers’ mailing list, and I get hundreds of emails about new software, new tricks and strategies to increase traffic, visibility, and ultimately revenue.

I buy some of them. I use 20% of what I buy.

And then I get the whales. That promise to train me to become a super marketer, a money magnet.

It’s that time of the year, there are three such offers going on at the same time.

Tons of stuff. If I put them into boxes… they would fill many.

The allure is tremendous. I can barely breathe…

And then I do the unexpected… I ask a relevant question. I act as my own coach…

I ask: Do I want my life to be about marketing? Do I want to become a marketer?
Continue reading “As important as a yes… is a no. Actually, you’ll be left with the authentic yes”

Why, your chances to become worth a damn (dime?), are less than 2%?

First things first: the saying is “become worth a damn.” But a lot of people consider damn a curse word, so they say “become worth a dime”… Oh well, here you have it. Become worth a dime… lol.

Second: let me explain the picture: no teacher is worth a darn, unless the student is able to handle, utilize what the teacher teaches. And therein lies all the difficulty you are experiencing.

As you can, maybe, track, I am becoming obsessed with learning to learn… or more precisely said, teaching you to learn to learn…

Because you have been mislead.

Even MY parents tried to mislead ME… lol.

I was dyslexic, which, as a diagnosis, didn’t exist when I was a child, so they thought I was stupid. So they tried to make me memorize…
Continue reading “Why, your chances to become worth a damn (dime?), are less than 2%?”

Want to change how you feel? Want to change what you believe? You are in for a surprise…

If I asked you if you are trying to change anything or anyone in your life, every one of you would say yes, many things.

The beingness of wanting to change someone or something is “something/someone is wrong” and then the second part “unless they/it change, I cannot be well.”

The vibrational frequency of that being, on the David Hawkins map of consciousness, is 120.

And if you listen to ads, if you listen to gurus, everyone suggest that you should change stuff, especially your beliefs.

There are entire programs dedicated to changing your beliefs, especially your beliefs about money, love, abundance.

The vibration of the desire to change stuff, especially stuff you have no control over, is 120.

You have no control over your beliefs.

Now what? Are you stuck where you are?

Probably… unless.
Continue reading “Want to change how you feel? Want to change what you believe? You are in for a surprise…”

How to BE be with anything – the secret path to happiness and power

A few days ago I wrote an article revealing to you that adhering to a “no negativity” concept, you are actually strengthening the ranks of the Dark Side.

At least one reader got the point, and is now attempting to increase her capacity to stay present, to not run away, to not hide, when ugly shows up. And by ugly, I mean all kinds of uglies, selfish, evil, cruel, rude, angry, vicious, terrifying… you know which ones you run most from, don’t you?

I also published an article a week or two ago about being astute. Astute is the ability and practice to tell one thing from another, with precision. To define something accurately. To see things for what they are.

Now, not surprisingly, the two issues are really one issue.

When you turn away, when you run away, when you avoid…

Continue reading “How to BE be with anything – the secret path to happiness and power”

Let’s talk about sexual preference

Twice in my life I had a choice to choose being attracted to women… I mean mainly.

The first time the choice was made for me: when the woman found out that I had no history of being attracted to women, she said: “I won’t do that to you.” I was about 22.

The second time I found myself turned on by a woman dancing, and I clearly saw a choice. I saw that I could choose to pursue that, but with that I would choose a life of hiding, a life of not fitting in, a hard life. I chose not to go for it.

As a sex therapist, coach, I talk to a lot of people.

I don’t buy that you are born gay. You are born normal, but are turned at some point.
Continue reading “Let’s talk about sexual preference”

Beingness and being, is there a difference?

Being ¹ is a tricky word, in every language I know. We use it as if it were cheap, inconsequential, but it causes mischief.

When you say “I am depressed” instead of “I feel depressed”, without knowing that there is a difference, you, unwittingly, practice self-definition.

You can feel a lot of things. Feelings and emotions have a normal tendency, that when not resisted, they move. They change. They morph from one feeling to another.
Continue reading “Beingness and being, is there a difference?”

Authority Part 2 – how you are heard

I received an email from a Path student. It was a link to a performance we discussed at length on the Path call.

The video was to prove that I was wrong, that his performance wasn’t shabby, that he is not the way I described him

My description was based on what he said when he came to the call. Shabby, blah blah blah.

Le me teach you something really important:

Your power, your happiness, your results in your life will depend on your level of responsibility, aka ownership.
Continue reading “Authority Part 2 – how you are heard”