… Or how do you destroy your life, little by little…
There is nothing more significant in destroying your self-image than starting something, with all the hopes and aspirations it takes to start something and abandoning in before it is finished.
Even if you knew yourself as a great person deserving of the dream you set out to accomplish with the project, by abandoning it, by leaving it in the middle, you declare yourself as undeserving, someone less than a match to your dreams.
When you don’t finish a project, you set yourself up for more of the same, it is a self-strengthening cycle.
At least one reader got the point, and is now attempting to increase her capacity to stay present, to not run away, to not hide, when ugly shows up. And by ugly, I mean all kinds of uglies, selfish, evil, cruel, rude, angry, vicious, terrifying… you know which ones you run most from, don’t you?
I also published an article a week or two ago about being astute. Astute is the ability and practice to tell one thing from another, with precision. To define something accurately. To see things for what they are.
Now, not surprisingly, the two issues are really one issue.
When you turn away, when you run away, when you avoid…
Twice in my life I had a choice to choose being attracted to women… I mean mainly.
The first time the choice was made for me: when the woman found out that I had no history of being attracted to women, she said: “I won’t do that to you.” I was about 22.
The second time I found myself turned on by a woman dancing, and I clearly saw a choice. I saw that I could choose to pursue that, but with that I would choose a life of hiding, a life of not fitting in, a hard life. I chose not to go for it.
As a sex therapist, coach, I talk to a lot of people.