What's my insight?
I mean, it is becoming obvious that I am in a rut.
I am the unstuck specialist so let's take this "rut" apart, tear it to pieces, so we can choose an effective unstuck method.
Like any "operation" for change, this needs to start with assessing the situation and diagnosis.
Of course when I diagnose it in my head, it goes real fast, but for the sake of teaching something, I'll do it step by step, so when you get to any situation needing a "surgery" you can do it on your own.
So: what is the fact? I don't feel like writing, I have no desire, no creative juices, I just want to be left alone. (lol)
What are the circumstances?
Dark Side attacks, 24/7, weekends a little lighter. (I am grateful for these attacks. I learned how to become a blade of grass and not to resist, and I have also learned to energize my water in 3 seconds, instead of the long process I had before the attacks intensified.)
I made a strategic mistake on the site: now there is no income, so I need to see local clients, which takes time, marketing, and very tiring. (The good news is that I have a good reputation, so I can pay my bills, no matter what.)
Dark Side attacks effected my sites: I have been forced to make changes on the site, and now finally am moving them to a stand-alone server. Let's hope that this will solve the issue. This will be done this week. (This, by itself will free up 20-30 hours a week, or more)
Google has put my site on blacklist and hasn't been showing it in search results. As a result I am not even motivated to do my writing: no one is coming to read... (Exaggeration!)
My health is suffering as a result of the Dark Side attacks. (I am coping)
I have started a fermented food diet, which is quite involved. I have also been dealing with healing crisis after healing crisis... a lot of good has accumulated in my over the decades. (It's ok, in spite of a batch or beets going bad on me...)
Anything else? No, that's it. Though next week the landlord will start making repairs in my apartment... that will be a distraction.
It seems to me that this current "rut" is a combined result of a physical component: not having time and space to just be, doing nothing. Creativity comes from the Beyond, and business is its enemy. Business of mind, business of attention.
So it seems that the job or unstucking myself will involve, mostly, creating a lot of "nothing to do" time for reflection and connecting to Source.
The second part is to get out of the gloom and doom hopeless resignation: that says: nothing makes a difference.
What have I control over and what have I no control over in the circumstances?
I definitely have control over what I worry about and what I don't. I also have control over where I am looking at the whole picture from, from my mind (gloom and doom) or from the back, where I am not involved, where I can be objective, where my survival doesn't depend on the outcome. ((I teach stepping back and creating a distance between the world and your self in the connection drill classes. learn to step back, learn to feel your feelings, learn to connect to Source. Invaluable tool. Makes all the difference when the going gets tough, or hairy.
I have restored the site to how it was before I made the mistake. I can return to trust that if you provide a good and unique product, people will find you, Google or no Google.
My dream is that people share their discovery of yourvibration.com with their circles, and I won't have to do all the legwork: I'd rather do what I am best at: connecting, teaching, healing. Instead of whipping up waves, soothing them... whether it is the weather, or the neighbor students partying. I am really good at that.
I will not reduce the fermented food preparation efforts: It seems to be working, judging from the healing symptoms.
But I can and will reduce the frenzy I demonstrated and experienced trying to "fix" my relationship with Google. Google will come around, if they please, and I can concentrate my efforts on asking YOU to share, instead of me worrying.
I had to get to the 700th word in this article to see something that wasn't visible before: I don't have clarity of what I want to accomplish, so muddling and suffering is going to continue until I get some clarity.
How do you get clarity? Actually it is not easy.
Goal setting gurus teach it, but they teach it wrong.
Any clarity that you get through your mind is going to take you to the cleaners. That's exactly what was the source of the mistake I made some six weeks ago. I was soooo clear! But it was all mind-stuff, I didn't even bother to double-check with Source. When you don't think to do that: that is a dead giveaway that you are operating from the mind.
The Mind is always sure. It gets its "ideas" from the past, where they already happened. But used today, they are dead, and useless... a dead end.
So HOW do you get clear? Slowly.
You can start formulating questions to ask for guidance in. Who do you ask? You ask the Soul... the Soul goes home every night when you sleep, and gets refreshed, reconnected, and comes back with great guidance, if you ask it to do so.
The main areas of guidance I probably need is
1. generating consistent income so I don't have to worry about paying my bills. I have already made enough sellables to build a palace... but I am not selling them. What format, to who, for how much, and in what order... these are the questions. And ask Soul if I am on the right track, or if I should make a change in the products I offer, and to whom.
2. getting help to do the things I am better off not doing, but need to get done.
a. creating inspirational activator videos (slideshows) for youtube
b. creating and managing facebook events and communities
c. find a partner that would be perfect to market my energizer and HOE products on the Amazon Marketplace.
d. optimize my sites so they load faster and are organized better.
e. turn my articles into electronic books, pdf and Kindle media.
As you see, having too much on your plate kills or suffocates your creativity.
Creativity is having an open channel of communication with Source, with the Beyond, so what comes out of it is both new, needed, and in harmony with Original Design.
Any 'having to,' 'needing to,' 'wanting to,' and 'should' is a creativity killer. All these "have-to's" take you out of sync with Original Design and put you at the mercy of Mind, Intellect, Society, your family, all killers of the human spirit.
Some of the practices I can invent for myself are:
1. Energize myself several times a day. Given that the Dark Side attacks my water and turns it toxic, I am best off using the straight energy into my body which is 70% water. ((You can buy the mini energizers or the energizer insert and consume the energy in your water!)
2. Download the Unconditional Love Activator at least once a day, so I regularly purge the 'having to,' 'needing to,' 'wanting to,' and 'should' that creeps up from emails, or from the recesses of the mind.
The Unconditional Love Activator is the most freeing, refreshing, rejuvenating energy I have ever experienced. My breathing changes as soon as I download it. My face becomes loose and smiley, my eyes stop straining. I become a virgin in the real sense of the word. A new-born. No shoulds.
You can try it yourself. It's amazing. The Unconditional Love Activator.