Who do you like? Who do you love? Who is the one loving?

WHO IS IT that your puppy loves?Or here is another question for you: Who are you?

If you asked back: What do you mean? you did the smart thing. Because the question: who are you? can be asked from so many vantage points, we can spend hours exploring that.

This is one of the things you learn to do when you are in my coaching program, Reclaim.

In that program I use Tai Lopez audios, 67 audios, 67 steps, about 100 different ways to ask a question, to look at life, including your life.

I don’t like Tai Lopez, but I like what his program is doing to my life, and what it is doing to my clients’ lives.

I don’t like a lot of people. Why? Maybe a better question would be: What do you like? Who do you like, Sophie.

You see, that questioning again. All thinking, all real thinking, is question based.

Without questions you have no clarity. You are walking through life like a simpleton who doesn’t even consider that there are choices. (I measure this in the Starting Point Measurements, the last measure, #10 is about that.)

This doesn’t mean you are stuck at being a simpleton, you can learn to ask questions…

So let’s return to “who does Sophie like?” question.

I don’t know… but I am sure that I like my stuffed tiger when it looks at me, like a puppy… I like that dynamic: the baby looking at mommy who is all powerful. Sweet.

I like my brother when he spends time talking to me. Then I like my friend who makes sure we talk once a week. I like my clients when they do well.

Hm… very interesting. It seems that all my likings are about me. If what you do makes me feel better about myself. Hm… I think we are onto something.

But what about love? Who does Sophie love?

Sounds simple, but it isn’t. Because unless you define ‘loving’ you don’t know what the heck you are talking about, do you?

And you probably live your life thinking that words mean the same to everyone, and that you are communicating. This is so far from the truth, you could be speaking two different languages!

What you mean by love is what you mean when you say: I love ice cream!  you really love ice cream.
I honestly hope I will never be like you!

What I mean by love, loving, is that I want for you what is best for you, even if it is not the best for me.

So if I love you and you want to leave me because that is what is best for you, my love is fully expressed in letting you leave, even encouraging you to leave.

How much of that do you see? If you say: not much, you are right.

There is hardly any of that is around. I think I experienced it a grand total of one time in my life. Not from anyone who was ‘supposed to’ love me, by the way. None of the people who were ‘supposed to’ love me ever loved me.

By the way, you can find out everything about a culture by observing what they mean by love.

  • Will they stone the woman they love?
  • Do they sell their daughters they love?
  • Will they force their daughters to marry at age six to men older than you?
  • do they cut out the clitoris of the woman they love?
  • Will they shower praise on their sons so they are entitled and wretched for the rest of their lives?

Do that. Look at that. Very educational. Changes your worldview.

OK, back to: who does Sophie love?

I love my clients and I love my students. I love them even when I don’t like them, which is most of the time.

Is it hard, Sophie? To love someone when you don’t like them? Yes. I think that is the hardest spiritual hurdle anyone has to overcome and master if one wants to raise their vibration. if one wants to become an expanding human being. Be able to be, function, and be firm, even though you are holding two opposing ideas in your brain.

And this takes us back to the first question: Who are you?

You could say your name, your ethnicity, where you live, your education, your position, your role, but I would not know anything about you at the end of your answer. Because all of those are on the periphery of you… the you I am asking about is inside.

Even your laziness is outside. Even your belligerence is outside. Your hate… your dislike… your argumentative nature…

Who you are is the permanent part of you.

And you are not lazy all the time… not at all. you are not belligerent, you don’t hate, dislike or argue all the time.

So my question isn’t answered by your laundry list of faults, weaknesses, or foibles either. Neither it is answered by your virtues… because they are impermanent as well.

Your laundry list answers a different question: Who are you that you are?

The inside, the real inside is WORD… The kind of word that creates. Creates you.

Who I am is that I am not going to be anything less than magnificent.

Does this mean that when you observe me you’ll see magnificent actions all the time? I mean being magnificent as i drink my tea, or pee, or moan as I climb the stairs?

No. And yet, that is who I am. That hell or high water, I am never going to be anything less than magnificent.

Whatever that means…

It is not a mind thing, the mind is too small to wrap itself around the Self. It is as if you asked a beggar to define billionaire… no equipment there to grasp billionaire from there.

Even millionaire is a big big big challenge, because other than the number of zeros, nothing else is visible from the level of pauper.

Same is with mind and Self.

And yet both are real… and Self is real.

It is WORD. Word that creates. For eternity. Permanently. No matter what else changes, the WORD never changes.

Only certain words create. In Kabbalah they call them the names of god… names of The Creator.

And they are. Create. Create you.

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PS: As long as you confuse like and love… as long as you want to have a tight grip over who or what you love, you’ll remain wretched.

Going from where you are and loving yourself, for example, there is a long way. UP.

The Unconditional Love Activator, coupled with the ability to tell the difference between like and love, used over time, possibly many months, regularly, can take you to a place where you can love yourself.

Your list of foibles may not change. What changes is YOU. And your ability to love, even when you don’t like yourself.

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar