Getting to clear. Getting to whole and complete.

Why are you miserable… why do you pretend to be happy?

Good question, isn’t it? Both parts…

My answer is the same to both questions… both parts.

It is the shoulds.

They are everywhere. Society, family, partner, government, religion, everyone we come in contact with place a should on us… and we take it, even if we don’t like it.

When we are born, life is big, and our playing ground is huge.

Then come the no’s and the do or else’s…

And with every no and with every “do or else” the playing ground where we are free to do what we want to do gets smaller and smaller.

When I look at people, they are pretty much restricted to a life the size of a playpen. Area where they are free to be themselves, area where they can be curious, area where they can do what they want to do. Continue reading “Getting to clear. Getting to whole and complete.”

Rule-making, rule-accepting separates you from reality, separates you from life

You live life as if some things were better than others, as if some things are wrong, and other things are right.

Truth is, these are all memes 1. This is not how life works.

Life works with physical laws, some of them we know, others we don’t, but they are laws nevertheless.

The difference between a physical/natural law and a rule is that for a law to be law you don’t have to agree to it for it to do what it does… But rules for them to be working on all involved, have to be accepted, agreed to, and bear the consequences if you don’t. Continue reading “Rule-making, rule-accepting separates you from reality, separates you from life”

You live in an illusion… like The Matrix… And you are not happy…

I had a webinar yesterday.

We spent some time on defining what must be present, what checkboxes you must tick for what you see to be reality.

It was a first for most people… Reality is one of those words: foggy, undefined… amorphous.

We came up with four criteria… and there could be more.

reality:

1. collective: everyone should be able to see it
2. there is only one reality and it’s the same for everyone
3. reality doesn’t change over time. The interpretation may, but what happened happened. Continue reading “You live in an illusion… like The Matrix… And you are not happy…”

Control Life Or Dance With Life, Fit in or be happy… that is the question

from the sheep's point of viewSociety is a rule-system designed to perpetuate itself and only itself. It considered outsiders, differents an enemy and most of society’s activity, is hunting down and destroying everyone who is different.

Society is self-regulating: it feeds the members that comply, and denies sustenance to those that don’t comply, that don’t fit it.
Continue reading “Control Life Or Dance With Life, Fit in or be happy… that is the question”

Restoring Coherence. Harness and redirect the energy instead of allowing it to diminish you

manage your attentionNot everything you feel is an emotion.

There are emotions and then there are the effects of emotions. But

all emotions can cause incoherence.

You know you are incoherent when your decisions are wrong, and take you down the path of self-destruction or hurting yourself or someone else. When you can’t hear what someone is saying. When you find your attention wandering. When you are not present.

Some emotions’ energy goes outward, other emotions’ energy goes inward.

Either type of emotions,

  • in a weak person, wreak havoc and cause devastation. A strong person can harness their outward emotions to move mountains, to accomplish, to achieve, to grow.
  • And a strong person can accept their inward going emotions as not necessary, not rolevant, and let them go.

Examples:
Continue reading “Restoring Coherence. Harness and redirect the energy instead of allowing it to diminish you”

Keep your wits about you… or what it takes to become a human being instead of a monkey with a big brain

One of the amazing things I learned from The Jungle Book is that humans are really just monkeys, if we look at their behavior. Lots of chatter, no aim, short attention span, have no ability or even need to think independently…

Very interesting findings. Once you put your attention on a behavior, capacity, characteristic, you start to see what it does for you… or conversely, what the lack of it does for you.

The capacity I am now observing is attention. 1There is a fundamental difference between learning ABOUT attention and TRAINING your attention. I saw that there are courses on Khan Academy about attention, just like we have done the coursera course, learning to learn. Both are about… not the doing of it. Continue reading “Keep your wits about you… or what it takes to become a human being instead of a monkey with a big brain”

Does your worldview keep you from knowing yourself? Stuck on self-delusion?

Before I write the meat of the article, I am sure you have a question: what the heck is a worldview… and how do you know what YOUR worldview is, if any.

The Three Umpires

A little anecdote comes to the rescue, about a radio interview of three umpires on how they call ball or strike (in baseball, for those who don’t know).

The three umpires are different ages.

Umpire number one asked first. He is a rookie umpire. He is asked, as will be his colleagues: How do you call ball or strike?

The rookie umpire answers: It’s obvious. I call it the way it is. A ball is a ball, a strike is a strike.

The journeyman umpire, has a few years of judging the game, answers: I do it differently. I call it the way I see it. I see it’s a ball, I call it a ball.

The old, wrinkled seasoned umpire, when asked the same question, grumbles… You are both rookies. Because I know that it ain’t nothing till I call it.

The three umpires represent three world views… A worldview is your relationship to what is happening in the world… 1 Continue reading “Does your worldview keep you from knowing yourself? Stuck on self-delusion?”

Yesterday’s Talk to Me webinar

I have one or two opportunities every week to be taken way way beyond what I know. It is triggered by a certain listening… with a fertile echo.

I have a lot more conversations that those one or two… but most people’s listening is so narrow, or so muddled, or infertile, that nothing new can come out.

Yesterday I was lucky and I had a person with an incredibly fertile echo on the call… and I took advantage of it.

This, in the face of most people not even hearing what I was saying… they were already thinking about some thing… So I kept going back to Baheej for nurturing… to be heard.

I am attaching the recording of that call for your pleasure

The Grand Experiment… turning back the clock from misery to a life worth living.

Imagine that you find yourself in Los Angeles… and then you find out that your meeting was in Seattle… and you took the wrong plane.

If it happened, you would hop on another plane, or in the worst case rent a car and zoom up parallel to the Pacific Ocean, and voila you would arrive to Seattle… tired, but you would be there.

When evolution has taken the wrong “airplane”, let’s not worry if it was hijacked or not, you don’t have the luxury to take another plane, or rent a car…

You have to go back to where evolution took the wrong turn, and take a different path.

The grand experiment I am engaged in, is about that. Continue reading “The Grand Experiment… turning back the clock from misery to a life worth living.”

10 ways to change your perspective to change your experience of life

Life looks different the moment you look from a different place, in a different way.

This article is about those different ways… Tiny actions, big big big effect. On your life, on your mood, on your experience.

The first step is to look at things from others’ point of view. To reduce the size of “mememe” by getting out of your way.

  1. People aren’t against you; they are for themselves.

When you can see that, clearly, without judgment, you are looking from the sideways position. You are not in the picture, only as another representative of “people”… neither the protagonist, nor the victim. Continue reading “10 ways to change your perspective to change your experience of life”