I had a few remarkable experiences the past few days.
The conclusions from these experiences make me mad, angry, bitter, and hopeless... but that should not surprise you: the condition of humanity is hopeless.
One of the things I discovered is that many people think that they are already connected
They are legends in their own time. They will protect where they are, however low or high that place may be.
You can't train people that already know.
This is what most people do, and it is driving me bonkers.
Then again, some things that happened were quite promising, even if they were few and far between.
One promising thing actually happened to me, personally.
I have been watching and re-watching the 'Lie to Me' TV series on Netflix, seeing more and more with every viewing.
But yesterday I was nudged by soul (out of nowhere) to watch a British, Victorian age series, about some girl Tilly... who had to deal with being accused of being a witch, whatever that means.
I watched it for about half an hour and then I could watch it no more.
I descended into an inner hell, for about 5 hours. In those 30 minutes of the movie, she escaped two attempts to rape, and she was in the middle of the third, when I closed my browser. She was gossiped about, learned to dance, lost the man she loved to another woman... No, thank you, not for me, not now, not ever...
Hell. I closed the browser but I didn't close my mind. The scenes were playing in my mind, and I felt every pain known to a woman. Anguish, fear, anger, longing, fury... you name it I felt it.
Most people when strong feelings come up, they hide from them, run from them, outwit them, depending on their emotional age. I decided to be an adult, and I faced them, probably the first time in my life.
To allow these feelings ravage me was painful, but I hung in there, and felt what I needed to feel.
I own a book I never read, but just caught a glimpse of it the night before while I was searching for something good to read... "Feelings Buried Alive Never Die." What a title, and what a perfect match. No accidents here. It was time.
I didn't take my remedy. Why? Because buried feelings never die... and this was an un-burying ceremony. Lasted for five hours, and once I could feel what I never allowed myself to feel, it was gone, and I am my happy self again.
I have made a few distinctions from this feeling incident, and I'd like to share them with you.
The two most important distinctions I was able to glean were:
- When you suppress something, like a feeling, you suppress everything. You can't just suppress a pain, an anger, an envy... you need to suppress everything. As a result you are a walking dead, useless for you and others.
This is true for me, and I am, as you can see, still working on it.
The first feeling I allowed myself to feel was anger. I was sure I was going to go off the deep end, at the time, but little by little I was able to express anger without feeling that I'll kill someone.
Pain free and dead or alive and feeling what there is to feel... that is the choice. I am now choosing being alive and feeling what there is to feel.
Easier with the Heaven on Earth energy bundle... I may get done by the end of the year! Yaaay.
- The core feeling you are suppressing is unconfrontable for you, even now.
It is, probably, the core feeling of your soul correction. You've been suppressing it, lying about it, but it isn't going anywhere.
I now see why I had to watch the "Lie to Me" series, over and over again. I see that you cannot hide your feelings, your negative feelings, they leak out. Micro-expressions, they call them. They talk louder than your lies. Your carefully put together persona.
I never understood how people knew how I felt about them: I was so helpful, I was so kind, I was so sweet... but the contempt leaked out around my mouth: that is where you show contempt as a micro-expression.
Surrendering my life to be guided by Source, guided by Soul has been part of my soul-correction. Not hiding my automatic contempt, but making fun of myself, laughing out loud, has been a real life-saver, and an unmasking.
People have been laughing with me, and getting that I work really hard.
Can I "fix" my soul correction? My understanding is that you can't.
My understanding is that every time you conquer it, even if just a little bit, go through it, you earn your light, you earn your vibration.
So, if you have been wondering why your vibration isn't rising: you know now.
Most people, when I ask them what is their soul correction, tell me they don't remember.
Bad sign. Are you hoping that you can raise your vibration without knowing the nasty stuff that you are hiding? Dream on. You are at the wrong place... join some cult, or return to religion... any kind. There it is all talk, no results.
But if you are earnest about raising your vibration, if you are committed to going to the next level, if you honor your soul and your relationship with it, then you will want to earn your light.
That is the Original Design. That is what I teach here.
Not your cup of tea?