Every single human (and to a certain degree lots of animals) has automatic ways of being, that could be called a machine, because their behavior is predictable, it is machine-like. Push a button and outcomes the same result, every time.
Every person I know is, more or less, an emotional wreck... a thinly disguised heap of upsets, fears, anxieties, and other very unpleasant feelings. As an empath I see the disguise and feel the truth.
The gap between what you'd like to be, calm, collected, smart, graceful, close, intimate, effective, important, creative, productive, etc. and the reality, the truth: you are bogged down by bad feelings, bad thoughts, doubts, insecurities, fears... stuck, stuck, stuck. In survival mode alternating with sudden bursts of inspiration, hope, etc.
The people who visit this site can be divided to two distinct groups:
- Group 1: they are willing to admit that they suffer and therefore they are willing to accept help
- Group 2: they are unwilling to admit that they suffer and therefore they are unwilling to accept help
The first group becomes customers, students, and learn how to live inside the machine, be free, be happy, be effective, and begin to be up to something. They start to trust that they are good enough to accomplish something worth doing.
The second group may buy activators, remedies, maybe even recorded courses, but will NOT want to talk to me, because that would be risking to be told the truth, that they are miserable.
One youngish person from the second group, bought some activators, some remedies, AND wanted to talk to me. After about 30 youngish enthusiastic email exchanges, I told her this morning:
your vibration is 90. You behave like an entitled spoiled brat. Until you learn that the world is not about you, but you can be about what you will do with your life, instead of all the people around you, your vibration will be very low, The remedies and activators help you do that, but you need to do the doing.
to which she answered (I left the typos in):
I just wanted to share that its interesting that everyone elses vibration is so low in comparison to yours. why is that, you don't need to answer the question. Thank you & I wish you every success on your journey
hm... offended. is that high vibration?
I am not offended at all on the contrary. I am just sharing my opinion. I don't believe that one has to be a doormat to have a high vibration. And surely, people skills & communication would'nt go amiss instead of seeing people as vibrational numbers. Afterall, its all Source
I hope you can see her protecting her view of herself as a high vibration, spiritual being who could teach me a thing or two.
I am not sharing this to shame her, to show my superiority, I am showing it as an illustration of the machine... so pay attention not to the gossipy stuff, but the predictable moves of the machine... I explain:
We all have a machine. Live in a machine. Predictable, never sleeping, nasty machine, willing and able to eat up your life, use up your Life Force for its own gain.
Once you know the machine, once you bring your awareness to the machine, you can live your life as if you didn't live in a machine.
So, what's going on there? What are the moves of the machine, that if you had the courage to look at, get to know intimately, you would reduce your anxiety, your fear, your anger, your shame, your cravings and yearnings by 90%?
The machine has three distinct moves: 1
- The first move is called a racket. A racket is a complicated move. It has an above water and an underwater (hidden) part. On its above the water part (iceberg analogy!) it is a complaint. You can see that part. It's a justified complaint.
Under the water level, you'll find that there is an attitude... Examples: entitled, self-righteous, I am a victim, take care of me...
The attitude seems to be a perfect match to the complaint to the complainer, and it's always the same.
Without the racket you won't recognize yourself: it becomes your identity!
Complaint is a recurring theme for the individual. They are always doing it to her. It is always happening to her. Baaah Baaah Baaah.
Some people are always in pain, always have some physical stuff going on with them.
Some people always feel that no one is listening
Some people always lose their money.
Some people always get left by their partner
Some people always get ripped off
Some people always suffer from the weather
Some people never feel close
Some people always have a difficulty expressing themselves
And the list of complaits could fill this whole blog. We all feel like we are the victim of others, the victim of circumstances, the victim of our own shortcomings.
But it should make you suspicious that this same complaint seems to go with you wherever we go. Different people, different weather, different customs, and yet, after a little while, they all seem to learn how to treat you so you can continue with the same complaint.
I used to have women tell me, angrily: "I am not your mother!" In every country... lol.
I had no idea why, until I saw this racket machine clearly. I needed to have this complaint so I can recognize myself! Since then no one has said it, though the pull of treating people like they don't love me is still there... but now I know better. But, the machine didn't go away: my first thought when a doctor make me wait, or cancels my appointment, or takes a phone call during MY session, my first thought is that he doesn't love me... lol.
If you want to learn more about racket, find YOUR racket, you can book a private session, or you can come to one of my coaching calls... maybe even the ITCH: the ITCH method is standing the racket on its head and turning it into your rocket fuel, instead of the source of your misery.
You can also come to the Playground, and not only find your racket, but start to dismantle it... I mean enlarge, maybe even dismantle the machine. It is probably the best way, the Playground way.
the machine is feeding on you and you unwittingly feed the machine
Believe it or not, the machine is feeding on you and you feed the machine. It pays you peanuts for the feeding, but it seems that you love those peanuts... at the expense of your whole life, your well being, your happiness, your success... hey, be my guest. But if you value your whole life more than peanuts, I'd recommend that you start disassembling your machine.
- The second move of the machine is to have a persona, or pesonality... the one everyone knows. Independent, strong willed, smart, knowledgeable, pretty, nice, creative... all lies. You paint those over everything to hide that you are not that: you are a real person suffering from no freedom to be yourself, to be any way you want to be: you have to be nice, you have to be smart, you have to be independent... etc.
This second move was borne of incidents where you fell short of being a match to life. From incidents where you saved the day.
Robin Williams' machine, the clown machine, ultimately killed him. He was tongue tied, lonely, sad, and an introvert underneath the loud, funny, hyper personal he invented to survive as a child.
But your survival tools become a prison, and cause untold sufferings.
One of my students decided that the way to make it through life is to be distant, self-protecting, and to keep you at arm's length.
As an adult, a mother and grandmother, she is suffering from lack of intimacy, lack of closeness. Her "survival suit" is protecting her from what she wants most in life. Meaningful close relationships.
- The third move is the chattering, judgmental mind with its accompanying emotions and feelings. This is also a machine, and you have been trying to control it, turn it into your slave, but the more you are fighting it, the more you are trying to control it, the worse you feel, the worse your life becomes.
I accidentally stumbled onto the solution: most thoughts and feelings I experience are not mine, they come from outside. When I realized that, I started a process that became the solution to the busy mind and ravaging feelings: I managed to create a distance, and I managed thus to give them room to roam, to do what they do, without being much bothered by them.
I found out that a group of scientists created a psychological training program to accomplish the same. They call it ACT.
I have been studying it, and I will teach it, adding to it what only an empath can add: monitoring your behavior, your inner behavior, and feedback, give you personalized strategies... invaluable. And possibly energetic support to develop the capacities faster than you would without it.
The capacities you need for winning in life in spite of the machine
The capacities this ACT method requires of you are allowing, accepting, embracing, making room, stop arguing, stop fighting, stop fixing... drop it or at least curtail it. It's your behavior and you have control over it.
With practice you can become masterful at accepting, embracing, making room for your thoughts and feelings. And when you become any good at it, you will have time and energy at your hand to do something with your life, something meaningful, something that you can be proud of. To make your life count. To be about more than just surviving your life.
The same capacities also work miracles outside the machine, in your life.
If the young girl had those capacities, she would have allowed me to tell her how I see her, and either just give that feedback room, or maybe even choose if it is helpful or not.
Not a happy life maker, if you ask me. Would you agree?