Observe yourself: you do well, you get somewhere on time, you get to finish the project, you make yourself proud: and suddenly all that love spills out to your life. You smile under the blanket, and you ask: what happened?
This article will examine why you love yourself when you do, and what can you do that you can love yourself more of the time.
Yesterday my chiropractor came over, and he was jumping around he was so happy. What’s up with you? I asked, because that is not his normal demeanor.
“Things are just going so well for me for the last few days” he answered, and I got it. His is a perfect illustration of the title. His love so overflowed, it included me.
Now, when you are a “normal” human who tried to do things, and bumbles around doing it, things often not go well.
So you love your life seldom, put up with it often, and hate your life often. Would you agree?
Why? Because you set yourself up to failure, that’s why.
You make the quality of your life, the quality of you, dependent on something undependable, like the weather. On something that is completely and totally out of your control.
But, you ask, what else can you do? What else is there?
What else is there is context. What else is there is horizon. What else is there is declaration.
I have said it over and over, and no one is hearing me: Context is decisive.
Making a mistake in the context of “I must be always perfect” is one thing: not a pretty thing.
Making a mistake in the context of “I am learning new things, because I am an Expanding Human Being in training” is another thing. It is something to be proud of. Something to brag about. Something to love yourself and your life for.
But, you see, changing the context requires you to have power to your word. And that, for the most part, you don’t have… maybe because you don’t even know you could have.
Integrity is being true to your Self that you set in your word, with words.
In reality you don’t have a self. Self would indicate permanent, set, like a thing. A rock. A flower. A house. They all have a fixed shape, a fixed smell… a fixed character.
The difference with human beings is that they are not a thing. Yeah, they have a physical part, a body. They have DNA and inclinations. But their essence isn’t physical, isn’t fixed, isn’t a thing.
And if that is so, that essence is shaped by what you say when you intend to declare that essence into existence.
At this point you haven’t consciously declared yourself, because every mistake, every emotion, every failure seems to define that essence. You define yourself by your lack, or by what you have, but not by your intention.
Your intention for being a certain type of person is the best way to become a land of sunshine.
Pay attention: I am not saying “your desire to be a certain type of person”, I am also not saying “your longing”, your aspiration, your hope, and all those other actions that are based on you trying to fix yourself to please yourself, or others.
Your intention is powerful, because it creates context, a context inside which you can have a lot of elbow room to be a beginner, make mistakes, fall of the horse, and such.
Your declared intention creates context. The closer the intention to your heart, the more you will love yourself for it.
Who wouldn’t love a person whose declared intention is to accept and support everyone? Or a person who declares that she intends to use her life to show other humans how to become happy?
A person who intends to live their lives where they are and what they do are important and benefit the others they do with. Would you love to do business with a person like that? Would you like to become a person like that?
Your starting point is declaring yourself, the type of person you intend to be.
Declaration is tricky: it is a different language than the ordinary, everyday, talking-about language you are used to using. Declaration is crafted with the effect on yourself in mind.
I am good at it.
Once you have your declaration, you need to attend to your integrity: every area of your life, not just the declaration. And that is the part that most people forget: they think the declaration is self-powered, but no, it is powered by your integrity.
In the Itch webinars we craft a suitable declaration together, one-on-one, and then we follow up with setting up actions for integrity, so the declaration can be powered, and become the context of your life.
The better you get at it the faster you get to loving yourself and loving your life. Guaranteed.