She paid for 15 minutes… and we only ended it after almost three hours, because she needed to use the bathroom and walk the dog… I was still ready to continue.
What made we want to talk to her this long?
The answer is obvious to me, but maybe not that obvious to you, so let me explain.
In every conversation you have the opportunity to observe yourself, and catch yourself in some machine-like reaction. Every time it’s a gift.
The incident with another student I have written about was a real eye opener. So I wanted more. I wanted to see more.
So the student, yesterday, gave me a great opportunity: she asked questions that upset the apple cart.
She asked if I have considered hiring people to re-design my site so it’s easier to navigate.
I argued, justified, squirmed, grieved, went through all stages of despair…
I saw why I am not making as much money, why I don’t have as much influence, as my knowledge would suggest I could.
For one: In my relationship to the world I am kinesthetic… My vision, my visual faculties are undeveloped: I relate to the world through touch, smell, feelings, not through seeing. My secondary mode of learning is auditory, my third is abstract thinking, and only the last one, the least developed is my vision.
As a result I have a difficult time seeing processes, mapping processes, designing processes… instead I allow myself to feel my way through life.
For an entrepreneur this is a real handicap.
The other thing, I see, is in my way, is lack of trust. That is part of my soul correction: Forget Thyself. Because I can’t see far, I don’t trust another that their vision will match what I would get to if I simply felt my way through…
A building is easy: it is not like a website where you can just jump around… even a book is easier than a website…
Another thing that stands in my way is having to see everything all at once: out of sight-out of mind… and I think everyone is like that. Probably not… I am locked into my way of seeing things. Hm… terrible.
That last word, terrible, leads to a breakthrough insight
And that last word, the word “terrible” leads to the REAL culprit: I am hesitant, even unwilling to accept that the way I am, warts and all, is OK. That I don’t need to change. That I don’t need to learn to be different than I am. That what I got going for me is enough.
If I accepted that, and I am writing this article to take myself there, I would be able to cooperate, co-create with people who have strengths that I don’t have. God forbid… lol. Laughing at myself out loud.
In many of my calls I am the real winner. I get to see myself, and own up to my own humanness, and be grateful that I have the opportunity to talk to wonderful people like you.
P.S.: I just hung up with a friend who wanted to know what was the difference between this conversation and one we had about the same issues a few months ago. The question really was: what was helpful in this conversation for me to get the insight and the breakthrough, and what was unhelpful in my conversation with him. Great question: I will share it in another article… Everyone will benefit, not just coaches… because being able to take someone to a breakthrough, to the light is what we want… and instead, most of us, force, manipulate, threaten, give ultimatums, intimidate, cajole, convince, persuade, and the inefficient moves are countless… So what worked? I now know and can teach it. Can you learn it? We’ll see.
The theory of multiple intelligences is a theory of intelligence that differentiates it into specific (primarily sensory) “modalities”, rather than seeing intelligence as …