Updated: When The Monster Comes Out And Starts Doing Monster Stuff: What Will You Do? How will you raise your vibration back up again?

the-journeys-of-socrates or how to develop your will and your attention to raise your vibrationWhen The Monster Comes Out And Starts Doing Monster Stuff: What Will You Do? How will you raise your vibration back up?

This is a five years old article... but for some reason it came up on my screen today... and it is apropos...

A client was yelling at me. The article about the ass grabbing famous man...

Please be aware that the monster doesn't sleep.

The wife who has since calmed down... but for a few weeks carried on daily... If you are reading this: I am OK, but it's not useful for me to deal with this... I appreciate how you got the point...

Not everyone gets the point.

The long time student who left, in anger. Has canceled everything, including her facebook account. Must be really angry... the monster came out.


Let me explain: in the book, The Journeys of Socrates (by Dan Millman) one of the main characters is Dmitri. He was an orphan, taught by his adoptive parents that Jews were bad people. In one nasty argument he finds out that he is Jewish... and kills both adoptive parents.

In his memory, in his imagination, a monster came and did all those things. He is riddled with nightmares of that fateful night... his whole life was used by that memory: hiding that he was the monster.

Why am I talking about this now? What does this have to do with raising your vibration?

I had the monster part of me come out on a connection call this afternoon, and it was slash-slash-slashing on the call... Insulting people, publicly, etc. How did that happen that a teacher like me was taken over by my dark side, by my shadow side, by my monster hiding persona?

I just had a little conflict... I am not kidding you. I had a conflict: I wanted to be somewhere else and I had to be on this call...

Why is this useful to you if you want to raise your vibration?

Shadow side, dark side of your personality, is normal. It is never going to go away.

For some of you it is fear. For some of you it is superiority, condescension. Being judgmental, being vulgar, etc. My weakest point is being caught between two things: call waiting: Being in conflict about

  1. talking to either of the parties while the other is waiting;
  2. having to be somewhere and somewhere else at the same time (like today I had a course I paid a lot of money for, and didn't realize it would be a 6 hour course instead of the one hour I expected),

and I drop the ball.

With a lot of self-training (years!), I have managed to learn to handle call waiting, but the conflict situation I encountered this afternoon was something I wasn't prepared for.

After 10 minutes of suffering and being in conflict, I finally ended the connection call and returned to the paid course I left to take care of the connection call... that's how I "resolved" the conflict. To make matters worse, on the paid course, when I resumed it, they were talking about being likeable... lol... yeah, right! Not.

So, what is there to do if and when the "monster" comes out and take over?

Just watch it. There is no stopping a monster, at least I have never managed to stop it... And then don't go where you always go: running, hiding, quitting, blaming, justifying, none of it.

Own up to it, take notes and start targeting that dark side.

I will put myself into this predicament more often to learn to be peaceful, choose, breathe, step back, in the face of unusual tension...

And promise the people you hurt that you know what you did, and you do your darned best not to do it again.

Ask what they need from you to be well, and to trust you again.

And do what they ask of you. It is probably much less than you would offer them... most people are much hardier than you give them credit to.

Don't beat yourself up. When you beat yourself up, you have to feel bad about them too... Just get that you are not perfect, that you will never be perfect, that life will not be a neat little package, and make peace with that.

Be intelligent.

That is what I plan on doing. It will raise my vibration back to where it was before, or maybe even higher.

PS: One more thing: when you are in a program that uses powerful and transformative energies, expect your dark side to surface. Because you can't catch what you don't see, what you need to catch will start showing up. Like Celeste says in her comment, and other students said elsewhere: raising your vibration is not a walk in the park, it is going to take facing the dark side, blinking, recognizing it for what it is, and committing to catching it next time.

That's how you raise your vibration.

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

14 thoughts on “Updated: When The Monster Comes Out And Starts Doing Monster Stuff: What Will You Do? How will you raise your vibration back up again?”

  1. my monster re-appeared today…anger/frustration set in and I lost my temper…I did not catch it before it happened but shortly after I did…stepped back and re-grouped, and plan on watching closer from now on.

  2. Hi Sophie,

    I am so glad you wrote that article. Thank you. I was one of the people on that call and was spared a direct attack. However the vibe was pretty bad and I had my knuckles up for a moment or two. I had a fairly late night and got up at 5.30 am to be on the call. My alarm clock shocked me out of a very intensely delicious dream in which I was blissfully floating high above a crowd of dancing people.
    The 5.30 am reality was extreme tiredness and a very stiff neck and shoulders. When the call started I realised I was on a connection call rather than the class. I had not paid enough attention and felt annoyed with myself … especially when you so clearly didn’t want to be there. I wanted to go back to my dream…badly!

    I stepped back and decided to redo the wonderful healing call from yesterday. When I tried to get to the recording it went around in circles just to come back to the front page. Wicked! Stepped back gain. I ended up redoing class 11 and found myself being 100% present with the class. It was very helpful.
    After that I went and did a job that I felt ambivalent about. It was a try out whether I wanted to do this on a weekly basis. I watched my ambivalence and in the end my integrity won and I decided not to do it regularly. I am at peace with that decision.

    I am telling you all this, Sophie, because for me the incident on the call was actually helpful.

    I learned how to recenter myself and despite all the nastiness I actually felt very warm towards you all throughout as it was obvious to me that you were trapped in your conflict. It made you so human. It makes me feel ok about being human and not 100% perfect all the time. You did find your integrity after a little while and by canceling it the nightmare stopped for everyone rather trying to force something that wasn’t going to work.

    I think watching that helped me later to make a decision from integrity.

    Thank you, Sophie, for being courageous, authentic and a lovable, imperfect human being!

  3. I was on my 12th hour of work for the day and get a call from my mom, my daughter has not checked in and it is dark…she is just hanging outside but did not bother to let my mom know ,and she was concerned…when I confront my daughter she smarts off and I go into full reaction mode, screaming yelling and cussing…how much of a role does one’s environment play in raising one’s vibe?

  4. Great question, Aaron, I’ve been waiting for someone to ask this exact question:

    None. The only factor that matters is YOUR RESPONSE.

    Cussing, etc. lowers your vibration, catching yourself and making a correction in the moment raises your vibration.

    Of course, to the pedestrian mind it looks that it’s all up to the environment: that is why they hide, become hermits, etc.

    But to the degree you can step back and see the big picture, have ability to bi-locate and thus be in the “irritant’s” shoes (in this case the daughter) is a reflection of your vibration: or better said: on what floor’s window are you looking at the scene?

    Your first bone to pick is your mother. Your second bone to pick is your daughter.

    You need to train them to be considerate of another… each other, you, etc.

    And even if they never change: raising your voice never accomplished anything.

    I have learned on the calls that a mild threat actually works miracles, but you have to mean it, you have to have the power to deliver it… but we mostly doing threats as a slash-slash reaction and don’t intend to deliver, or don’t have the power to deliver.

    You have your trainers right in your family! That is always the case.

  5. I appreciate this post so much, I don’t even need time to process it. I also appreciate and relate to both Aaron and Monica’s response.

    My monster re-appeared both last night and again today. Thankfully, I’ve been stepping back to the point of exhaustion, but it worked! Both times I was able to catch myself 1/4 of the way through the act. Once being judgmental, and the other being short tempered. Like a game of Pacman, catch the monsters before they catch you. So challenging, you have to be aware constantly!

    I clearly recall being angry with you for putting me off a healing call early on. The next morning, not even knowing about stepping back yet, I put myself in your shoes, and knew I would have done the exact same thing. I went to Whole Foods, bought two tangerines, and for three days walked around my house with them on the back of my head in order to commit it to memory. I still keep two in the house at all times just in case my confidence plummets!

    Thanks for sharing Sophie, great post…

  6. Christine B, I think this is the right time to explain to readers that are not in the Second Phase Activators course what stepping back means.

    When I ask someone to locate themselves (without asking them to point to where that is, because then they will point at their chest… weird!), me, as an empath, feel their face and forehead light up (not their chest!).

    The “real” location of the Self is about 4 inches behind that, in the back of the head and the thoracic portion of the spine.

    So when we do the exercise: step forward/step back on the calls, we go back and forth between those two locations. The front location is fraught with controversies, automatic thinking, self-concerns, etc.

    The back location, after about 3-4 stepping back to it is silent and peaceful. At the 3rd or 4th step back, there is a sudden visceral drop in tension and there is an automatic sigh or breath, like relief. That sigh indicates how tense we are when we locate ourselves in our mind!

    It’s a good story about the tangerines. Charlie, who lives in the same town where I live, in Syracuse, NY, also bought tangerines for quite a while… lol.

    Congratulations on pulling the power to yourself. Atta girl! lol

  7. I STILL buy tangerines LOL. I just don’t balance them on my head anymore.

    I’ll ditto Monica regarding the call. Same impressions hit me; I couldn’t find the words to express.

    A small step-back moment for me last night: I found myself extremely agitated and frustrated. As a matter of fact, the first words out my sister’s mouth when I answered the phone while in this state was “What’s wrong?…you sound stressed”.

    In short, a customer made a request that I was willing to comply with, but it would be very time-consuming. In addition, I was aggravated…because she was flip-flopping once again…always making revisions to her orders. I had avoided this “project” for a week, not wanting to address it.

    Never a good dancer, but think I may be learning the cha-cha. I did take the step back and saw a bigger picture. Cone of vision? From there a simple solution appeared.. one that is not only better for both parties, but also reduced the time of this “project” from hours to 30 seconds, if that.

    Interesting that, for an entire week, this one of many to-dos, however small, occupied space somewhere in my head where no alternate solutions presented themselves. Not until I dug into it, got upset, and stepped back did it appear.

  8. Me, Charlie, and Carmen Miranda, priceless!

    Two quick questions….

    Does the eye switch automatically go off every hour?

    When you talk to soul before sleep at night, are you connected?

  9. that is normal, Charlie, that we need to get into a tizzy, or bind, or an upset, before the solution is willing to show up.

    Why is that? two guesses:
    1. Source is not there to rescue you… it won’t open your door, won’t open to push you up the steps, but it’s willing to show the solution that keeps YOU in power. If you want to be like Source (that is the job!) then you need to stop being a rescuer
    2. if and when things go smoothly, you can get away to do things the old way: from your head, or wing it. You need to get into a bind to step back and look at the big picture.

    good work, Charlie

  10. if you connected to Source, then you are… you can talk to Soul without being connected.

    The eye switch stays on for an hour after the last moment you were connected. At this point you are connected more than you realize.

  11. I am another who is appreciative of how you handled the call and what it taught me. Boundaries and being true to myself have always been an issue for me and I respected your honesty on that call so much.

    All of that was really helpful for me today while listening to my mother on the phone and my monster came out as anger and frustration. When I stepped back, I realized she was emotionally dumping on me. Although I thought I had stopped being a dumping ground for other people’s emotions a long time ago, I realize that I allow my guard down with her and let her sneak it in. I asked her if she realized that this was the same conversation she tries to engage me in, in one way or another and she immediately stopped.
    I also realized:
    –that I feel guilty and sorry for her and her situation and these feelings have made me allow the whole cycle to repeat itself.
    –that no matter how much I don’t like the situation she created for herself, I am not responsible for it, or for her, and only she can help herself.
    — that I’ve been breaking my back trying to show her that I love her the way I THINK SHE wants me to love her… but in truth, I have no idea HOW she wants me to love her. (My mind was getting me into trouble… again.)
    — that if she wants me to love her by allowing her to dump on me, she will have to understand that I’m not available for that.
    It’s certainly not easy being her, but I’ve been making it really hard to be me by carrying her too. After recognizing all this, I’m actually breathing better now regarding that.
    Now to feeling confident about connecting on the live calls again… wow.

  12. Just wanted to say that I was fine with you going to your class instead of doing the call. I was glad for you that you weren’t going to miss it. I too did a replay and it was the most effective a replay has ever been. I felt fantastic afterwards.

    I just realized reading these posts that I was stepping back this weekend automatically and the conflict that is usually present at some point when my daughter and I are together for any length of time was noticeably absent! 🙂 Thanks Sophie XOXOXOXO

    Oh and I too have been kicked off a call (and called belligerent LOL) but I was back on the next call two days later because I want what Sophie is offering (I did go through a range of emotions: frustration, embarrassment, annoyance, etc) I totally respect that there is no room for excuses. I guess it’s Tough Love eh? Bottom line is we have work to do and Sophie is not going to waste everyone’s time by coddling people. Sadly, a friend also got kicked off a call and wasn’t able to set it aside, she felt the need to justify her position instead of accepting and moving past it. That made me see my own growth even though I am still disappointed that she passed up a wonderful opportunity. I guess she’s not ready.

    Oddly, I too have struggled with call waiting but I suspect it may be less stressful now.

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