At best you have been able to fake it, or get a glimpse of it, for a moment... Or you lie about it... practice it, but unless you can create it as an authentic way of being, your vibration will go down steadily, which means even more misery awaits you.
The hard-wiring is all through the mind.
Animals have it. Just watch a cat, or watch a dog, or even watch a buffalo. Animals even have a built in switch: just watch puppies or kittens go limp when they are picked up by the mother.
I am talking about the capacity of turning of the wanting, turning of the needing to, wanting to, should, the yearning, the forcing, the fighting for, the resistance, and allowing life to the way life is.
Because it is so hard, savvy gurus come and teach you to force better, and want stronger, and desire better, and even use your time to visualize what you want, write lists about it, force yourself to dream about it... i.e. lose your ability to be with how it is, what is, the herenow... sinister, and you pay good money for it.
Trust? None. Peace? None. Peace of mind, happiness, joy... none. Disease: plenty. Busy mind: all the time. Muscles hurting: hell yeah.
Marshal arts, the ones from the East, teach you to be relaxed, aware, and resist nothing. Be in the moment, force nothing, resist nothing.
Aikido is best example: it is like a dance.
When you look at your life: is it like a dance? Or is it like you are a puppet on a string, jerked left, and jerked right... inner and outer strings pull you, not a moment of peace.
The only way to be well is to let go of the concern for the future, let go of the regrets and resentments of the past, and be squarely in the present moment.
That doesn't mean you do nothing. That doesn't mean you don't, from time to time, take time out to plan your actions, your direction, your future.
But you then let go. I don't mean trash it, no, I mean let go that you have to do it. That you have to work on it. That you have to anything.
If the future you picked, was sound, your actions will fall in line with it. If your plan is a good fit for you, if it is the right thing for you, then you'll naturally find yourself in action about it, without worry, without forcing, without saying, at any moment, that where you are is wrong, and only when you are there... in that future, will life be good.
You see, All goals, all dreams, all aspiration, all plans, silently say to you that somewhere is better than here. That there is something wrong with how it is, that you are lacking, that you miss something, that it is wrong how it is.
And then you, no surprise, feel miserable and want to get away from the present... to some future, or to some la-la land, oblivion, drug induced stupor, or momentary pleasures.
You need to practice letting go of the future, letting go of the past, and be in the present, where you can see clearly what needs to get done, what needs your attention, without saying that how it is is wrong.
I live this way. I move slowly, I only do what is visible to me in the present moment, I leave half of my day empty, unscheduled, so I have time to look, to be, to breathe, to feel, to observe, to reflect, to be aware, unimpeded by some scheduled task.
And surprisingly life moves, albeit slowly, to a direction of my choosing. And I enjoy my days, I enjoy my nights, I enjoy my life.
It's really simple. And, as I observe, it is really hard, if you live the kind of life most people live: packed to the brim.
Is there anything that can help? Maybe the "get into the present" avatar state activator, if you are ready for it. It allows you to see the world, fresh, without what you already "know" clouding your judgment.
A student of mine is a healer. Her husband has had a tumor in his throat. She has been healing it... or whatever you would call that a healer does. She shared, and I visited her husband. I found no traces of tumor, and yet the husband is suffering. What makes him suffer? The memory of the tumor, I say. He can't get into the present moment where you can see what is, not what was.
I hope you see the value...