Everything that society doesn’t bear you to be, doesn’t tolerate you to be, is also intolerable in marriage, even in a relationship.
What is a relationship?
A relationship is a verbal contract. It is designed to curtail your freedom to just relate, just love, just spend time together. It’s basic foundation is possessiveness, controlling, and owning.
Its purpose is to reduce the other into a thing, a thing you can own and control. Then, when you succeed, you don’t love it any more, because who can love a thing… a thing that talks… ugh. You fell in love with a person, if you did, and now it’s reduced to a thing. Security, ownership, possession are against Life, against Nature, an abomination.
But, in addition to that, looking from the point of view of the possessed, you can’t grow, you can’t become an individual, unless you are willing to shake off the bindings of the “relationship”.
An entrepreneur is an extraordinary human. An entrepreneur is in the process of becoming an individual, an expanding human… maybe even a human being.
The environment of relationship or marriage is not an ideal environment to nurture an extraordinary person. Firstly, because a relationship or marriage demands that the person places the family first, and individuality, growth, etc. second, maybe even third.
Because the second demand is to be a provider… whatever your gender ascribes to you as your “job” in the relationship.
And only third place, maybe, that you are allowed to do what YOU want to do with your life, in your life.
Whether you are a man or a woman, by the way.
But if you are a woman, or you have a woman’s mind… 30% of men have a woman’s mind, and 50% of women have a woman’s mind… then you are possessive, controlling, and kill the human spirit rather than allow it to flourish or fly.
Surprisingly, most of the people, 95% of the people that go to a guru, a healer, a teacher, have a woman’s mind. They just want to learn to control, dominate, manipulate, possess better.
Can you change your “mind”? Yes, you can.
You could be in my Playground, or you could work with Andy Shaw’s book, Creating a Bug Free Mind.
You may have to do it several times, because your shadow is deep, and your shadow tends to hide itself.
But if you want to become someone who can change their mind… that is the fastest path.
PS: It took me lots of hours to write this short article. I spent most of that time reflecting on some characters of fiction who fit the bill of extraordinary human… bordering on human being, the next level of evolution for the human species.
Luther in the British TV series, Roark in the Fountainhead, and John Galt of Atlas shrugged.
If you watch or read through this context, you get a whole different experience.
You will see, that in “real” life you hate people like that, you gossip about them, because they are a threat to the status quo, your puny little life, and you want them dead.
But inside the context of fiction they are wonderful…
Same duality exists in relationships and marriage: the man/woman you admired becomes this human who needs to be cut to size, possessed and consumed… killing is illegal, after all.
And a youtube video… somewhat related, watch it at your own risk