Yesterday I wrote about the "nut" that unless you break it and see what's in it, your life will be lived out in the misery of duality. There is help available, here, because you need someone who is ruthlessly compassionate.
Of course you want someone who'll console you, who'll coddle you, but if you really want to get to the other side of it, and start the process of becoming real, you need someone who doesn't buy into your fantasy about yourself, that even you know it's a fantasy.
I, honestly, don't expect any of you to be ready. It's not a rate thing, I could offer it for free, and you wouldn't be interested enough to come.
The Playground was a long version of this process, and a total of three-four people attended regularly. Of course there I didn't tell people what was required of them... maybe I didn't really know... I only realized the significance after 2-3 months passed.
Here is an Osho talk, talking about this exact topic. Enjoy.
Self-knowledge is the most difficult thing - not because it is difficult, but because you are scared to know about yourself. A deep fear exists. Everybody is trying to escape, escape from himself. This fear has to be understood. And if this fear exists, whatsoever you do will not be of much help. You may think that you want to know yourself, but if this unconscious fear is there you will continuously avoid, you will continuously try to hide, deceive. On the one hand you will try to know yourself, and on the other hand you will create all sorts of hindrances so that you cannot know.