I woke up this morning with despair in my heart. My life looked hopeless, not a ray of light. I started to plan what I needed to do to get my affairs in order... because living with no hope is worse than dying.
Although I was doing it, I was feeling it, I was doing that from my Observer position, so I wasn't involved... and yet, I could see that it was hopeless...
I got lax and got re-infested with mites... and once you tasted freedom, slavery is intolerable... it effected me badly.
Then I said: it looks hopeless, but what if whatever I am asking when I am doing muscle testing doesn't know everything? After all not all things are knowable...
Maybe I need to be less slavish to muscle testing and actually ask more interesting, more creative, more unexpected question...
So I set out to be called (guided) to ask different questions, until this hopelessness breaks.
I didn't have to wait long. I made a cup of tea, and felt like sweetening it a little... And that gave me a new question: what if the mites don't like sugar? I remember reading once that when you have a big wound, putting sugar in the wound will disinfect it... Counter intuitive, and I think that is exactly what I'll need with these little beasts.
So, I am going to test sugar... the number one poison 1 of humans... maybe it will poison these little buggers?
It needs testing, testing when I am sober, aware, and not in wishful thinking... when I can be an objective scientist... hah... dream on sister... lol.
I went for my weakly chiropractic adjustment. Almost as soon as I settled on the chiropractic table, I felt the mites crawling all over me, my face, under my clothes. It has been this way ever since I distinguished mites... before that, even if I itched, I didn't associate it with mites... Me? Mites???!!! lol
I muscle tested if I brought the mites or if the mites were already there. And found out that the mites were already there, and every Tuesday I go home with a fresh batch of mites to fight.
Now, what do you do with that information, right? Tell the guy he is a mite-distribution station? Teach him how to lay traps to thin out the population of mites in his office?
Must do something... grrr.
I, myself, haven't seen any private clients since I knew that I had mites. It's hard, because half of my income came from that.
But I can't look in the mirror and say: I am patient zero... whatever that means in my case.
On Sunday I got a donation of $111. I emailed back to ask if it was a mistake. The guy said, no.
I said thank you, and proceeded to connect to him. It took me almost 10 minutes to be able to tolerate "being him." I suddenly felt hot... had to strip my clothes off. I felt thirsty, I had to drink. My eyes were burning...
I sent him my findings. A day later he sent me an email that I very accurately described his situation. He let me in on some more symptoms I missed.
I set down and meditated what could cause it... I felt parasites, similar to the kind that cause Lyme disease, in his lymph system, not bacteria, but a parasite.
I instructed him to ask his doctor.
I was quite awed by this, by the way. What if... What if I can actually really really do this, in earnest? What if I could get, beyond the emotional blockages, mindset issues, attitudes, what if I could actually intuit rare and difficult stuff like this?
I have been dabbling in this, and so far I've been accurate, but I have been humoring myself... not taking myself very seriously.
What if? Maybe I could even make a living? Pay my rent? "Be still my heart... lest you explode." 2