Just like a fire won't become big fire unless it is bothered by winds, just like love will be a tepid business unless there is opposing energies, you won't become the best you can be, unless you are willing to accept that strive, chafing, conflict, pain and suffering is the path.
You may not know it, but people "in the business" of spirituality do.
So if you pay attention to the stories of self-appointed gurus, they have a history of suffering, being slighted, opposed, pain and misery... from which they emerge as enlightened beings.
Most of it is b.s., of course, marketing trick, but it points to the truth: no growth happens in the absence of challenges.
Children of the rich become moronic, unable to make a simple living.
Nations that were forced to adapt, change, and grow are, on average, smarter, produce more extraordinary scientists, because of this law.
Now, if you are a nation, a warring nation that goes on bothering others... this doesn't apply to you. Challenging another doesn't challenge you... for growth you need to be challenged.
Now, having the necessary circumstances doesn't mean that you will use it to grow... some will, but not all. It's highly cultural. Growth happens through "climbing the tree of life", i.e. going through the steps of strong emotions and transcending them, the three pillars of reality: mercy, neutral, and judgment... the Jews call it, we could call it with our fashionable vocabulary: positive, neutral and negative.
There is no growth possible unless you go from one extreme to the other, in transcending the strife.
Just like alternate current, the sine curve goes from negative to neutral to positive and back. Life is lived, by design, this way.
Now, living where you live, living how you live, you are probably protecting yourself from negative influences, or ignoring them, hating them, and you are not growing.
So what can you do to grow? I hear this question at least ten times a day.
The simple answer is: embrace strife. The advanced answer is: cause friction for yourself, and stay awake, stay aware that it is you who did it so you can grow.
This is how to grow your consciousness, this is how to grow yourself.
At this point you are like a tree with no strong roots. Grow strong roots by being, unprotected, consciously and aware, in the wind...
Taking coaching from me is like that. Reading the Bug Free Mind... the way it was intended is like that. Looking in the mirror... ugh, is like that.
Here is a talk by Osho... saying more about it.