Just like a fire won’t become big fire unless it is bothered by winds threatening to extinguish it. just like love will be a tepid business unless there is opposing energies. you won’t become the best you can be, unless you allow that to thrive, chafing, conflict, pain and suffering is the path.
You may not know it, but people in the business of spirituality do.
So if you pay attention to the stories of self-appointed gurus, they have a history of suffering, being slighted, opposed, pain and misery… from which they emerge as enlightened beings.
Most of it is b.s., of course, marketing trick, but it points to the truth: no growth happens in the absence of challenges.
But even though you are listening to tales of suffering, YOU expect to become all you can become without any cost, without any friction, and maybe even without any work. Boggles the mind.
trees that when they are young are protected, sheltered from wind will never develop strong roots. Strong roots that can feed a big tree. Strong roots that can withstand natural conditions, long dry spells, strong winds.
Children of the rich, for this reason, become moronic, unable to make a living.
Nations that were forced to adapt, change, and grow to survive are, on average, smarter, produce more extraordinary scientists, because of this law.
Now, if you are a nation, a warring nation that goes on bothering others… like some, you know who you are, this doesn’t apply to you.
Challenging another doesn’t challenge you… for growth you need to be challenged.
Now, having the necessary circumstances doesn’t mean that you will use it to grow… some will, but not all. It’s highly cultural.
Growth happens through climbing the tree of life, i.e. going through the steps of strong emotions and transcending them. the three pillars of reality: mercy, neutral, and judgment… the Kabbalists call it, we could call it with our fashionable vocabulary: positive, neutral, and negative.
There is no growth possible unless you go from one extreme to the other, in transcending the strife.
They shrink away from the opposite of what they want.
Just like alternate current, the sine curve goes from negative to neutral to positive and back. Life is lived, by design, this way.
Now, living where you live, living how you live, you are probably protecting yourself from negative influences, or ignoring them, hating them, and you are not growing.
The simple answer is: embrace strife. The advanced answer is: cause friction for yourself, and stay awake, stay aware that it is you who did it so you can grow.
This is how to grow your consciousness, this is how to grow yourself.
At this point you are like a tree with no strong roots. You grow strong roots by being unprotected, consciously and aware, in the wind…
Taking coaching from me is like that. Looking in the mirror… ugh, is like that.
Here is a talk by Osho… saying more about it.
PS: There is an aspect I haven’t much talked about… And that is this: People become ready to take on spiritual growth only when the strife in their lives becomes intolerable by them.
Divorce, failure, separation, infidelity, loss of a job are the triggers.
But when I really look, they came to me because they couldn’t stand the heat in the kitchen, so to say.
Until the heat was turned on, they were comfortable, and saw no need to seek help.
They say they want to grow, but in fact they just want to return to what was comfortable. This is one of the main reasons no growth program produces much result.
So if you are one of those comfort seeking ones, 999 out of a thousand, find a therapist instead. Find consolation. Transformation is not for you. It takes you to even more strife…
It is clearly visible in your Starting Point Measurements, by the way.