I love books that start slow, that allow me to be in the midst of things, give me insight into the character, the past of the character... simply said: that gives me a rounded picture without actually reducing the observations to assessment. The book allows me to make my own judgments, so it's active reading: the story is co-created between the author and myself.
I even watch television that way... Netflix television, where I can stop the screen and reflect, sometimes for 10-15 minutes before I turn the movie or episode back on.
Now, contrast that with how you read.
What does that say about you? That you don't honor observation, don't honor process, and that you live unconscious of the present, wanting to be somewhere else. Not here and not now.
The illusion that live is a series of jumps...
It also tells me that your capacity to own your own actions as the cause of your results is missing. Responsibility, owning your actions, including your thoughts, attitudes and speaking, are a moment to moment, observation... impossible for people who miss the middle.
So, what that tells me is that I cannot possibly work with you, unless you slow down and start paying attention to the process, to the moment to moment unfolding of life.
Nowhere is this more important than in finding your work, finding the work that would feel like play, fun and games, while it would pay your bills and maybe more.
In the experimental mini-workshop I held a few weeks ago, one of the students got wings, while the others went backwards. The difference between the two students was the capacity I am talking about: being able to observe life, yourself, others, as it is happening.
Yesterday a reader contacted me to ask if I would be willing to coach her to find her life's work.
As is my habit, I have started to ask her to do certain things that would show me if I could successfully coach her or not.
Honestly, I am not willing to do any coaching that will not have at least 70% chance to be successful... unwilling.
The find your work coaching is simple, albeit not easy.
You need to write seven stories that emphasize the actions you took to achieve a certain success, whatever is success for you. Restrictive criteria is that you must have enjoyed the process.
So I asked for a list of successes, from the top of her head, to see what I am dealing with.
From the language and the nature of successes I can tell more about you than you'd like me to know... lol.
And I can tell if you are the jumping into success type, or the type who builds success with successful actions.
If you are not successful in life, and don't enjoy your work, it is either due to your being in the wrong line of work, or to your jumping, never present nature.
That is very important to know, your future depends on it. Your happiness depends on it. Whether you leave a legacy or not depends on it. Whether your loved ones will respect you or not depends on it.
So, what can you do if you are a jumping into success type... living in an illusion, wishful thinking, never being in the present moment where you actually are?
Well, it is a skill, being in the present, that needs a lot of practice, but it's worth it. Most people are never present: you can see it when you talk to them: they are not there. So even with just 10% you can beat anyone... seriously.
And if you are not happy because you are at the wrong line of work, then I recommend that you apply to me to see if you qualify to my workshop.
I am planning to make this different: have videos to prepare people, and then one-on-one email coaching... I have never done this type of coaching, but because of the nature of the workshop: a lot of writing, this may be the way to go.
Please post your interest in the comments below. It is not a commitment, it is just a raising your hand that all things considered, you may be interested.