Therefore: Your dominant belief is not the same as your dominant behavior. So what am I pulling?

I bark therefore I amOne of the biggest discoveries, for you and me, is the fact that you can't produce a different life by changing a belief.

If it worked, and it doesn't, then all the people who do affirmations, afformations, self-hypnosis, hypnosis, brain entrainment, EFT, would be the most successful people on Earth in the area that they are targeting.

They aren't... and that is not surprising to me.

AA, Alcoholics Anonymous got it right first (and last?) in their declaration: I am powerless over alcohol... And in their introduction: Hello, my name is X, and I am an alcoholic.

Positive thinkers, people who think beliefs are important, are dumbfounded. Why? Because AA works, surprisingly for positive thinkers.

But saying you used to be an alcoholic never worked, and never will work. Why? Because it is not the belief that is deciding your life, deciding your behavior, it is a conclusion.

I have an addictive personality. I don't act in an addictive way because I am aware of it, and I don't like the feeling of an urge telling me how to live my life.

So, for the most part, the moment I notice that I have taken a behavior to an imaginary line where the urge is about to take me over, I quit the behavior.

I quit cigarettes that way, cold turkey, on November 3, 1983. I was climbing the steps and I was out of breath, wheezing. I had an unlit cigarette in my hand. I made the connection. I put the cigarette back into the pack, and never smoked again.

But I am still a smoker who doesn't smoke.

That was one connection, that I have severed.

Here is another connection I am yet to sever: I am tired therefore I'll have a cup of tea. I never just have a cup of tea, it is always a THEREFORE.

therefore-eat

NOTHING_IN_COMMON_AA_TEE

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The word THEREFORE connects a situation or a feeling with a precise action. I pull the "therefore"...

  • A client of mine feels stressed, therefore he smokes a joint.
  • My brother is offended therefore he won't talk to me for a month or two.
  • My mother was angry therefore she beat me.
  • You disagree with what someone said, therefore you are going to justify yourself.
  • Reading is hard, therefore you won't read.
  • You feel lazy therefore you'll watch TV.
  • You admire a certain activity, therefore you'll buy the program.
  • You know the answer, therefore you stop looking wider or deeper.
  • You feel smarter than others, therefore you volunteer to set them right...

You behave predictably, like a puppet on a string. Maybe you are unaware of it.

Therefore is the number one giveaway that you are not mature enough in a particular area. Not mature enough to put the word "and" there...

When you say therefore, you assign responsibility to what is in front of that word.

You declare yourself weak, a victim, a powerless twirp, with that word, therefore.

Now, you positive thinkers, think that you can simply eliminate the word, or replace it with something and then you'll be suddenly mature... 1

I am a smoker and I don't smoke.

Now, returning to what I say in the title: when I "pull" your dominant belief, I actually don't. I pull the mandatory therefore... I sever the connection.

When that connection is severed, you have a lot of options of what to do when you feel in a particular way. You can do what you have always done, but this time without the therefore.

Or you can choose other actions.

Your feedback has been a mixed bag: some of you report on actions, some of you report on happy accidents, and some of you report on feeling different.

Please concentrate on the action. If you don't know what it is, and I haven't told you, then please ask again.

It is easier to be responsible, it is easier to cause your own freedom if you know what your choices are now.

Footnotes

  1. Just some of you like did with the word "because", you know who you are...

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

8 thoughts on “Therefore: Your dominant belief is not the same as your dominant behavior. So what am I pulling?”

  1. Wow, this clears up something I was puzzling about. For many years, I continued to criticize and “make wrong” my husband even though I wanted to stop and I put a lot of effort into trying to make myself stop. It seemed out of my control. Then, suddenly and unexpectedly, after you pulled my dominant belief, I was successfully stopping myself from criticizing and making him wrong. That was a huge, very welcome surprise. But what was puzzling me was that I’m still getting the urge to criticize him. It didn’t go away. What changed was that when the urge hits me, I now successfully stop myself, and without the effort and anguish that used to be there. I thought the urge to criticize would have to go away before I could successfully stop. But from what you’ve written, it’s like the “I am a smoker” doesn’t go away but you’re able to change the action. And for me, the “I am a criticizer” doesn’t go away but I’m able to change my action.

    I don’t even know how my “I am a criticizer” relates to my dominant belief, but my actions definitely changed when you pulled my dominant belief so it sure looks like they were somehow related.

  2. Hell yeah, you got that right sister! I hope everyone will read your comment, because, I think, it is clearer from your comment than from my article… oh well… thank you very much.

  3. Sophie, I get it now. Ok so you pulled the “therefore” out.

    I was going backwards. I was thinking “I am controlling therefore ….” Now I see I am trying to justify that I am not what I think I am or what others think I am so consciously or unconsciously I add “therefore”. Which takes power away from me.

    From reading your article “Therefore:..” I see that I need to recognize what I am and replace therefore with “and.” If I am lazy, I say “I am lazy and then I make a choice like I am not going to sit watch a movie or I am lazy and I will sit down and watch a movie”. Or I am angry and I will go in my room and be alone. I am messy and I will organize my drawer. Do I see it correctly? Thank you.

  4. mine is addiction. Sophie said I could have black tea instead of coffee. I have Sophie’s permission so black tea it was.
    I have Rishi brand loose leaf Ceylon Single estate, china breakfast, english breakfast, ancient golden yunnan, etc. I might as well have a tea bar. I drank to have energy and then drank more because I liked it and had something warm in my hand. Drank and drank everyday.
    Today I noticed that after I had 2 cups in the evening I went to get another cup around 4. I looked, observed, said to myself, “you aren’t tired”. It won’t serve you.
    And I passed on the glass.

  5. excellent. You got it right.

    I am feeling very tired now. I was on my way to the bedroom when I asked myself: do you necessarily have to lie down? And I came back to the computer to answer comments.

    Small victories make a victorious life.

  6. Thank you, Sophie, this time you made it really clear. Eating supper today I noticed that I wanted to eat another sandwich just because it was tasty. I reached for another piece of bread and then I realized that I’m actually full and that I don’t really want to overeat. I put it back and finished.

    Small victories it is.

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