"It's easier to evaluate your results through drunken delusion than to gaze soberly in the mirror and face the truth."
It was different. Some people had already had the same capacities activated before.
I found two big surprises... both strong enough to kick me in the gut:
- When I first download the energy to you that activates the capacity, it does what it does, goes through the phases, and when I check the muscletest says: it is turned on.
When I come back to you, because you are on a webinar, it seems that there is a lot more work to do: especially on the level of ancestors.
A lot lot lot more. It seems that until I open it all up, until the activation goes through your entire ancestry: millions of people, you will only have the capacity available to you... partially.
- And in some cases, your ego turned the capacity off entirely.
I did not expect that.
It does seem energetically correct: if the new capacity is upsetting the whole apple cart of your current somewhat working life, the ego will turn it back off.
Why it wasn't blocking it in the first place?
Because even ego cannot block Life, or the intention of All-of-it.
But it can go and turn it off.
The people who had this happen have been living a life of pretense... their real self and their pretend self were like two different worlds, and giving up the pretense world would be a whole lot of restructuring... which is a code word for destroying, tearing down...
There are a lot of capacities needed for someone to volunteer to go back to nothing, often below nothing. Ego won't let you. Not yet.
So, what needs to happen for ego to actually allow the Light stay on... through that activation?
Well, each time I turn it on for a little bit, your whole being is flooded with Light. You will never be the same again... and if it happens two-three-four times, ego has a chance to acclimate itself to this new energetic paradigm inside which it can allow the Light to stay on.
Now, the dirty laundry: I hope you'll learn from my example.
A few days ago a client contacted me with the list of capacities I activated for her. She wanted me to check if she really had them.
One of them muscletested "no". And one of them was a behavior, not a capacity.
She, I felt, got upset, and I got very upset.
Now, what actually happened? I have an automatic behavior to think that whenever something I can't find, was stolen. Where does it come from? I have no idea. I have only have had a few things stolen in as many as 68 years... but it seems to be hardwired.
I saw the same behavior in the client... accurate or not, that is what I reacted to.
I gave her something that she now doesn't have. I didn't understand how that was possible, felt confused, and maybe guilty on some level, after all she paid for something she didn't have. I assume I activated the capacities, but yet she didn't have them.
I did the unthinkable: I attacked. I gave her an ultimatum. I did what I would have done 40 years ago...
Today I understood what happened, her ego turned off the new capacities... one was caring (I activated bilocation, the capacity of seeing oneself through another's eyes)... only available at a vibrational level of above 500, and whatever is the capacity that is making consistency possible.
Anyway, as you see, ego, making another pay for everything, doesn't completely disappear just because you have many capacities activated.
The important thing is not to get stuck there...
I don't know if I will ever be able to feel I am accused of cheating, stealing, and be OK with that... Not my favorite... sigh.
Tomorrow there will be another session wehre I activate or re-activate self-trust, humility, and courage.
Next week's webinar I'll switch to appreciation... the ability to see value where normally you don't... special emphasis on things you don't want...