I don't know why I am reading it, but here is what I have found that is worth mentioning:
- What used to be too much English is suddenly clear, concise, and applicable. The text didn't change, I did. Obviously I am playing with a fuller deck...
- I get, again and again reminded of my Achilles heel: I have a missing capacity that is probably responsible for many of my failures, and all of my no successes.
My missing capacity, the bane 1 of my existence, my Achilles Heel 2
- I first realized I had this problem in the third year of my architecture studies: we were supposed to make a plan to have labor ready through the different phases of building a project, and put it on a kind-of map for the site manager.
I found my Godzilla in that: I had no idea... blank mind, no concept, sorry, can't do. I passed the class, barely, but the experience left me pondering my defective brain.
- Second time I realized that there was something wrong when I was living in a one-room apartment that I wanted to make into a one-bedroom... floors, wall paper, wiring, building a new kitchen... lots of moving part.
I didn't sleep for weeks, because I was trying to figure out what to do first, next and next... I got literally ill from all that pondering and no sleep.
- And third time when I had to move, in a rush, a whole house to three locations... I messed up, of course.
So, here I am now, activating capacities. Setting a lofty goal to take humanity to the next level of evolution... but I put on my shoes before my pants... Ridiculous.
I guess this is part of dyslexia, a brain aberration... Maybe it can't be fixed... And maybe it can.
I activate a capacity called "process".
Next thing I know an ad pops up on my computer about a magic method to fix your life and your brain... sold on ClickBank... I don't trust anything sold on ClickBank... But doesn't what I do sound exactly like that?
You pay me $25 and I snap my fingers, and voila you have the capacity opened. Oh yeah?
I question myself too. Maybe even more than you question me...
My fundamental issue is trust. I question everything, trust nothing. Not even what I do... so it's time to let it loose... and question: is what I do b.s. or am I going to be able to activate a capacity, I call "Process" through the method I use to activate people's capacities, with visible, tangible, amazing results.
OK... you are my witness, the experiment is on.
If it fails, then I am a quack.
If it succeeds, then I may still be a quack, but what I do works.
I have a way to make sure I use the still non-existent capacity: two of my reclaim clients desperately need me to be accurate in the next step: both are building a business.
So I have plenty of opportunities to be stupid, to nudge the capacity to make it actually work, if it is on now. If... lol
I am scared. And I am excited...
I just want to be sure... If it fails, it fails publicly. Luckily I still have lots of skills I can make money with... and 159 working capacities.
Stay tuned... you'll be the first to know.
PS: As I am reflecting on how this shows up in my life and in my work, I see that there is a profound case of inability to set up a strategy... because I can only see 2-3 steps ahead... really bad for business, and for life.
- a deadly poison (often used in combination, as in the names of poisonous plants): wolfsbane; henbane. 3. death; destruction; ruin
- An Achilles heel is a weakness in spite of overall strength, which can actually or potentially lead to downfall. While the mythological origin refers to a physical vulnerability, idiomatic references to other attributes or qualities that can lead to downfall are common.