When you apply courage, it just feels like you are doing what you are doing, what you were afraid of. Normal.
Which indicates to me, that courage is a paradigm-shifter.
Paradigm is like a glass ceiling. A one-side mirror. When you are in a higher paradigm, you can see what is below you, but if you are still in a lower paradigm, you cannot see what's above. In fact you don't know there is something, anything.
In The Truman Show, Truman didn't know there is a whole world outside of what he knew... He had to get to a point where he suspected, and then where he walked through that door. So it is a process in a way... not a moment.
So, like with everything, there is a period of getting ready.
It's interesting that the magical thinking of an unevolved human prevents one from getting ready.
Evolution is: long period of getting ready, and then the shift. Paradigm shift.
When I interfere with natural evolution of the species, when I activate a capacity for you, unless you were ready through getting ready, your system, especially your ego will say: not ready.
Yesterday one of my students emailed me that he could not find the article where I teach how to sweet-talk the ego into accepting a capacity.
The students with the most number of capacities are the students that live a life of taking risks daily. The ones with the most have lived a life of self-challenge.
Trying and pursuing challenging courses of action: learning and mastering new things. Several. A life story filled with success stories, and wins.
People with the lowest: have never learned and mastered anything.
When we were doing the seven stories, the skill finding exercise in the What Color Is Your Parachute, the first indication of no capacities beyond the basics was that the student had not success stories to share, especially not seven!
You could reverse engineer the process and start creating success stories. I don't mean inventing, I don't mean lying. I mean set a goal that requires skills, courage, persistence, vision, and pursue it to its fruition.
Then set another goal and do the same.
It may take years. But whatever you do today will effect the rest of your life.
You'll either continue to have nothing, or you'll have a future worth writing home about.
You don't have to be a genius to start. Becoming a genius is a process... again.
One way you can gather energy to do it is observing people, through this distinction: are they pursuing excellence, mastery in any area in life, or are they just surviving life?
Spend time observing and learn from it. Pursue that for a while. Get good at spotting the signs. Don't judge, just observe. Watch your emotions too...
Make that the first thing you become good at. Being able to spot signs of a person who is willing to get ready to evolve, or a person who is just surviving.
I promise that diligence, persistence, will give you energy to start another project that will be just as challenging.
Getting ready is challenging. You are attempting to use faculties and skills and capacities you don't have. It is challenging, that's why so few people do it.
Be one of the few.
PS: Your soul correction has a lie it centers your life around. If you do your soul correction, suddenly you'll be able to do this, if you haven't.
PPS: Courage is vibration 200. You need to earn it.
If your vibration used to be above 200, that means that when I was measuring it, you lived consistent with courage, then you stopped.