If you look at me, and can see, you’ll see a person with severe dyslexia, serious holes in her brain from two episodes of brain damage.
What does this mean? This means that I make a lot of mistakes, mistakes most people would not make…
Couple that with a quick-start personality, and you get a lot of failures, a lot of mistakes, a lot of screw-up… and, surprisingly a lot of wins.
I am not timid. I am probably not smart enough to be cautious, to make sure what I see is what is there. I was beaten, mercilessly, as a child for it, but it made no difference. Because I don’t know what is going to be a mistake and what is going to be a success.
I miss that ability.
That is, I see, the reason I was willing to go to this uncharted territory of DNA capacities, and related issues.
Anyone with a normal brain
Anyone with a normal brain would have gone to make their mark in an area where it is a sure thing. Not me… I actually enjoy this kind of process: I learn more from mistakes than successes… in fact, when I have a success, I have to consciously make a false step to rekindle my sense of adventure, my willingness to have a life of discovery instead of surefooted, and predictable, success.
I am your Christopher Columbus. No beaten paths for me.
Now, why am I sharing this?
I am choosing to fly solo. I refuse to think that it would be better if I had a partner. Flying in formation is possible for a limited time only… just observe the air shows. But even those airmen go home or go to the pub… it is limited, and it’s dangerous.
I have been observing the effect of another person (partner, lover) in students’ evolution.
Most students who try to fly in formation, give up growing
Most students who try to fly in formation, give up growing, give up the capacities they paid for, because they value the “formation” more than their own lives, their own growth, their own evolution.
It’s heartbreaking to watch people go back to where they were when we started. It is like Algernon all over again: you know where it will end up…
That means, I cannot fly in formation even with you, because my concern for you will bring me crashing down, like fear or concern for your relationship brought you crashing down. Or just got scared for a moment… boom, crash… The moment you stop flying, you are crashing.
I am allowed to care, but not care more for you than I care for flying
I am allowed to care, but not care more for you than I care for flying. If you keep up, wonderful. If you fall, fall back, land back on earth… wonderful.
Heartbreaking. But there is always flying.
The Spirit only wants that there be flying. Who is doing the flying, the Spirit only have a passing interest.
When you give up flying, you are betraying the Spirit.
And you become a ground feeding turkey…
EVEN Turkeys can fly.
Sure they can! They’re just not great at it. Turkeys evolved to spend the majority of their lives on their legs, pecking about for food. Wild turkeys can fly up to 100 yards, but they don’t very often. The broad-breasted breeds developed for industrial agriculture can’t fly, because their strength-to-mass ratio is too out of whack.