I was looking at Christmas this morning and I saw something that I had never seen before.
Your relationships can be described in terms of gift giving and gift receiving.
For some people, in your life, you may be a gift. You and your life. And for others, you substitute that by giving them gifts at the predetermined gift-giving time… and buy another year so that you don’t have to be a gift.
I know, I know, I am off my rocker… but maybe you are! Have you ever thought about that?
I was looking at my relationships.
Allowing the other to be a gift takes generosity of spirit.
And to be a gift yourself takes a level of consciousness that is rare in the world.
People who live a meaningful life. People whose job is meaningful to them. If they told you the politically incorrect truth would say that they are a gift, their work is a gift… no ego about it, just a fact.
I had this conversation with Sarah, the woman who drives me every Tuesday to do my shopping and such. And I had this conversation with my chiropractor.
I had a sense that both knew that they were a gift to me. Sarah also saw me as a gift. My chiropractor didn’t.
When you have the capacity of Flexibility, you can ask such questions and look at life, look at people through the question. Sarah has the capacity in spades… and tons of other capacities. We have a give and take relationship, where she is really there for me, beyond the call of duty.
My chiropractor, who doesn’t have the capacity of Flexibility, sees himself as the service provider. Any possible contribution from me won’t be a gift… He is role defined: we have an uneven relationship where I am restricted to be the receiver.
My goal is to have a give and take relationship with you.
A give and take relationship where you know that I am like Roark. I don’t work to have clients, I have clients so I can work…
So if I accepted you as a client I love you, I am grateful to you, and you are a gift to me.
Why? Because that is a definite sign of higher vibration, more capacities working, including generosity.
Locked into the power structure of being the parent, the boss, the wife?
You may want to unlock yourself, because it is a frozen, dead, lifeless position, and, no surprise, the relationship is dead too.
And when you have dead relationships, you are dead too… 🙁
Is this a skill? Is this a capacity? Please comment below…
And if you have time next Saturday, please consider coming to a workshop that goes deeper on this.
We’ll look what about you is a gift
PS: I have a client who doesn’t think himself a gift to me.
It is, seeing another a gift or a burden, is up to you. Seeing yourself as a gift or a burden: ditto.
This client’s claim to fame is that he doesn’t actually follow, doesn’t actually get any benefit from working with me, buying from me, participating in my programs.
That would easily qualify him as a burden.
But to me he is a gift. He isn’t resisting what I say or recommend. He simply can’t do it.
Not because he doesn’t have the ability, mind you. It is because his internal conversation doesn’t allow him… And he is more likely to obey his internal (cultural) conversation that what I ask him to do.
Back in 2007 I participated in a long course by Pam Ragland. It had two components: 1. she promised to wipe away our thoughts 2. she promised to teach us to drive our new vehicle, and only allow new thoughts that are helpful.
She failed at both… except with me.
Why did I succeed while others failed?
The reason is simple. Maybe too simple.
In Landmark Education I learned the distinction: ‘conversation’. It didn’t mean dialog. It meant the things I say in my head, or listen to in my head. The thousands of nonsense… All of it useless or even harmful.
So I started to pay attention, and killed what seemed to be harmful, ignored most. In essence I invented the Amish Horse Training Method… And whether her energetic intervention worked or not, I raised my level of consciousness by a lot. By ignoring everything my mind told me.
So for me Pam Ragland was a gift.