Finally I managed to tame this new computer 80%. It is one of the things I don't like to do... I'd rather just coach, or write articles, read, watch Netflix... but I have the capacity of the Sight, I have the capacity to be the cause... so I did what I needed to do.
It seems that I am quite alone with this, at least among us... But why?
Then it hit me: All the movies I watch, happiness, joy are sporadic. And grunting, grim faces, are all over.
And yet, if you look inside, you think that you can be the exception, and you can have a life all about sunshine, all about smiling, all about joy. That is the fallacy, generously spread by the Dark Side, by positive thinkers, by gurus. 1
I wonder what drug you are on... because, if you look around, other than on Facebook and other medium for pretense, life is not an event full of smiles, and laughter.
Life is 99% struggle, and 1% of that smiley laughter filled joy.
Or if you are like me, and learning to have joy with what you do, then a lot more joy...
And you crave, and pine, and yearn for what you see, what is only available in rare moments, on Facebook, or on inspiring memes... You think that is your birthright. After all "they" say that the purpose of life is to be happy. But that statement comes with a smiling picture, or a girl jumping high.
That is not joy, that is not happiness. That is glee. The emotion that has a shadow side to it. Like any horizontal plane goodie: drug induced peace, booze induced good mood, sex created momentary high.
Until you can accept that the "joy" you are seeking is fake and comes with a deep shadow, and that the real joy is doing life without resisting it, you are going to remain a miserable seeker... A miserable seeker that any two-bit marketeer, shyster 1 can dupe you into spending your children's inheritance, because the marketeers will offer you the secret path to happiness and joy... Finally.
I don't know when you decided that life should be all milk and honey, but it is time to snap out of that hypnosis, that hallucination, and time to start interacting with life the way life is.
Why? Because that is how life works... Living life the way you live it is expecting a door to open when you push... when it is clearly a pull-door. A winning ticket to a miserable life.
Whenever you look at how it is as "it should not be that way" or "it should be different" or "someplace is better than here" you set yourself up for misery and ineffectiveness. Like the pull door doesn't respond to pushing.
When you watch little kids, unspoiled by the world, they make the best of what they have... and have fun with it... until adults spoil them.
One moment is stuck in my mind: in one of my all time favorite movie, "After the Wedding", the orphan Indian boy is offered to go to clean and prosperous Denmark... and the little boy says that it is wonderful where he is.
You want to be like that little kid: appreciating what you have, work with what you have.
If you have bigger dreams, this is exactly how you start. Being happy with what you have, being happy with what is.
If you live in the gap, in no man's land, between how it is, and how it "should be", you are missing everything, you are missing life.
It is the exact same move as "hitting bottom" I talked about in a recent article.
The ability to open your eyes, and without resistance, look at how it is, and say... "Oh, O.K." is a high capacity. Your ticket to peace, peace of mind, effectiveness, and effectiveness strategies.
Do you live there? I doubt it.
I live there. But even I am pulled out of there, from time to time, because the Dark Side doesn't leave me alone either.
But unfortunately, you have been unwilling to even visit that place. You are afraid you get stuck there... which is, of course, more of the same. You would want to get stuck there... that is what joy, that is what happiness is!
Your results, the quality of your life, the quality of your relationships are a testament to that unwillingness to live life the way life works.
One more thing: I can feel that you want me to make you feel good about yourself. That you are craving that... That you think that you'd be better off, more willing to do what you need to do, if I made you feel good about yourself.
Is it possible that it is more of the same? Imagining that nice-nice will take you where you want to be?
You see, unless you are willing to do the work, unless you are willing to struggle to climb the tree of life... you are not at the right place. You are pushing the door... rejecting the idea that it needs to be pulled.
There are tons of fake gurus that are willing to do the work of consolation... Go there if that is what you want. Consolation. Nice-nice.
Or if you are interested, book me for an hour long conversation to find out what door you are pushing, and what door is already open for you that you are ignoring.
Send me a message with a brief description of who you are and why this is important to you.
Comments or questions are welcome.