Then, unexpectedly, I said to myself: I love you, little one. And then the "fun" began... The emotional dings, the doubt, the questioning, the grief.
Hoho... I said, what's going on?
The little voice said: why would you love me?
Because I do... I said.
Do you love me, even though the house looks like a mess?
I don't love your house, I love you. house, no house, mess, no mess... I love you.
oh. But do you love me even though I am getting old?
Oh, I do. And I want you to live long.
And then, again...
And do you love me even though I have a missing tooth? That my legs hurt? That I am harsh? That I don't have a lot of money?
It ended up with me, still hugging, falling asleep.
But I saw something, that I thought you'd also benefit from.
It was a big big surprise that the little self didn't think anyone cared if she lived or died. That explains a lot of self-neglect, that until now has not made any sense. And it was always there, operating, sabotaging, working counter to what I was working for.
Then I woke up, and found my horoscope,
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): "I do not trust people who don't love themselves and yet tell me, 'I love you,'" said author Maya Angelou. She concludes: "There is an African saying: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt." With this in mind, I invite you to take inventory of the allies and relatives whose relationships are most important to you. How well do they love themselves?
Is there anything you could do to help them upgrade their love for themselves? If their self-love is lacking, what might you do to protect yourself from that problem?
Hug yourself. As intimately as possible. Hug yourself the way children hug themselves, close to the neck, close to the face. Bend your face into your arms, and have this same conversation.
The goal is to hear what the little one is considering a good enough reason not to be loved.
Then either put it in the comments section, or send me in email.
An unexamined life is not worth living... and until you see the small and the big you's relationship is hampered by what the small you considers wrong, you'll never be able to be one... you'll always be schizophrenic, split, and full of anxiety.
Now go. Do it. Do it many times, if the communication is hampered between your selves.
If you have a hard time standing in the Big You, then consider that I am hugging you, and I say: "I love you".
See what it brings up. OK?
Good luck, have fun. Don't be afraid to cry. Boys too...
PS: one more thing: if you have been taking the Unconditional Love Remedy, and you are not present to the grief between your two selves... you need to get present to it. It's there. Weeping, sobbing... inside. You haven't been attending to the most important person: you. This exercise will open up the communication, and also brings awareness to the big issue there. Don't miss it.