What can a simple mental exercise… taking one minute, reveal about you?

nightcap-cherriesWhat do your emotions and behavior hide? Who are you that you need to hide it?

Your behaviors, your feelings and emotions are the tip of the iceberg, hiding the below water part, your attitudes.

How do you eat your cherries?

Remember or imagine having a ball of cherries in front of you. Or blueberries. Or a box of different chocolates.

You reach out and take a cherry, or whatever you have in front of you.

  • Did you take the largest, most ripe cherry? The best of all the chocolates?
  • Did you take the puny little cherry first? The kind of chocolate you don’t really like?
  • Did you just take any of the cherries?

The underlying attitude shows clearly on your behavior.

  • If you took the largest cherry… you want your results now, not later. If you look deeply enough, you don’t want to work for your rewards either.
  • If you took the puniest cherry, then you are planning for the journey: every cherry will taste better than the previous one. And you are probably willing to work for success… and enjoy the work.
  • If you just took any of the cherries, then your relationship to life is based on not even seeing the difference. You are probably unaware, and not present.

Now, reading this, I guess, will want to change your behavior.

iceberg of your identity: the hidden dimensions

But alas, changing the tip or the iceberg won’t change the depth… the attitude.

A student of mine is struggling. She is asking me what to do so she can change her life. What she is unaware of, is that the attitude, deep in the sea, is running the show… That she is unwilling to look at.

So let’s look at some attitudes, the bottom of the iceberg, and some emotions that are on the top.

Or alternatively,

let’s look at some emotions, and see what attitudes feed them.

Now, before I get to it, ask the question: why are we doing this? And here is why: You have no control over your emotions. None. But you have a lot more control over your attitudes. 1

Of course your control over your attitudes is largely influenced by the number of “intangibles”, the number of DNA capacities you have working. I don’t want to lie to you: there are attitudes that you’ll not be able to change with the number of capacities you now have. But at least you’ll know…

    • So, emotion: Frustration

The attitudes underneath are:

      • there is something wrong with it, with them, with me
      • Life should be different than life is (it should be easy, fair, fun, etc.)
      • It should be instant…

The essence is: it’s wrong how it is. I am a victim…

  • ImpatienceAttitude:
    • I should be faster than I am
    • You/he/it should be faster than it is
    • It should not take work or process to make it happen
    • It is not up to me to make it happen. I am a victim…
  • AnxietyAnxiety comes from the attitude of unwillingness to be present. Why? Because the mind can’t connect to the present. Because the present may be unpleasant.

    So the attitude is: one-day, someday… but because the future doesn’t exist, and the future is built on the action you are taking today, the future is both uncertain, and certain: more of the same… or worse.

    So, we can sum up the attitude: I don’t matter, what I do don’t matter, I am a victim.

    And another aspect of this attitude: whatever is coming: I can’t handle it. 2

OK, I can’t think of more emotions right now.

Want to help me out? Please post your suggestion in the comments below. No emails on this one.

The comment must be organized like this:

the emotion or behavior (mine or someone else’s) is this:
Question: what attitude does it cover?

Let’s see if you can follow instructions.

If you can’t or won’t follow instructions… it covers up the attitude of arrogance… that you know better.



  1. Notice that the most successful, most famous teachers, hypnotists, gurus, are teaching you to change your emotions, or change your behavior… without ever teaching you that what they are teaching is bogus, doesn’t work, but pays their riches.

    The reason I love Tai Lopez because he is completely different, at least the stuff I have seen, or listened to.

  2. If you have attempted to activate self-trust, you see that lack of self-trust is about 50-70% of the anxiety.

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

30 thoughts on “What can a simple mental exercise… taking one minute, reveal about you?”

  1. I wouldn’t make any of your choices. I would look for the one that looked most ripe. If you couldn’t touch the cherries I would rely on color. Color says a lot about a cherry. Color says a lot about a lot of things.

  2. You completely missed the purpose of the article. But regardless: you belong to the first group. And your attitude is: If you took the largest cherry… you want your results now, not later. If you look deeply enough, you don’t want to work for your rewards either.

    So much true, that you didn’t even read the article… you wanted me to know two things: 1. that I am wrong/stupid/ignorant 2. that you know better. And your results follow.

  3. Emotion: hopeless
    Attitude underlying :
    -unwilling to experiment new things
    -something is wrong with what I’ve got
    -want to get reward without work
    -afraid of failure

  4. A Behaviour that is mine:- I”ll get to it later

    .Avoid it till the deadline
    .Do it in a hurry
    . Think I have an idea and wing it

    Attitude ; Hapless, Underachiever

  5. This is too good, T.

    The underlying attitude, is the same attitude that made you make this post: “I need to be seen as smart.”

    The actual behavior is doing shabby work, not in time, not complete and thorough, just going through the motions.

    What do you end up feeling?

  6. Emotion is anxiety (fear of unpredictable) and it is mine
    And it covers the attitude “I won’t be able to handle it”

  7. The emotion or behavior is resignation.

    Question: What attitude does it cover? I’m stupid, and I’m a victim.

  8. The emotion or behavior is avoidance or inaction; passively waiting for my mood to change. That I don’t belong, and nothing matters anyway.

    The attitude it covers is worthlessness, inadequacy. But it also covers the attitude of superiority: that I don’t need to work at anything, that I will be brilliant once I wake up, obviating the need for regular hard work and dedication, and that there is still time for that to happen.

  9. Emotion is fear and it’s my emotion.

    The attitude it covers up is: what will happen when I look deep inside, what will I see?

  10. OK, it is becoming clear that the distinctions emotion and attitude are not told apart.

    So, the emotion is the mood you have been wishing to change.

    All the rest is attitude.

    The distinction attitude IS worthless, thughh it could also be the feeling
    so is with inadequacy.

    but what is the attitude that causes one to not have to work hard regularly, have no dedication, and to wait? What is the beingness?

    Is it that it is supposed to come to you?
    That if you are so brilliant there is no need to do anything regularly?

    Or is it: I am afraid to find out that I am not brilliant at all. That I am empty, and not worth a damn?

  11. Yes, there is a feeling of impending doom and emptyness. I will be found out that I’m not who I’ve pretended to be and my life will fall apart.

  12. yes, that is the feeling. The truth though that until you see that you won’t be able to do other than flail for the rest of your life.

    You need to hit bottom, girl friend, if you ever want to get a life.

  13. Emotion: fear

    Underlying attitude:
    Not living in the present/want to control the outcome/child-like behavior-I won’t participate if things don’t go my way

    I can’t control the outcome so I can’t participate so I become the victim

  14. so let me get this straight: emotion: fear of becoming a victim
    attitude: I will be a victim to avoid becoming a victim.

    am I getting this right? the controlling the outcome is just smoke screen.

  15. Exactly.

    Immobilizing yourself so that you cannot be accused of doing any wrong, but never living a life of purpose or getting into the game.

  16. The emotion or behavior (mine) is this: Anger (caused by Person A, but
    can be lashed out at many other people)

    Attitude that it covers:
    1. Person A is stupid
    2. I am smarter than Person A
    3. Why can’t Person A do things the way I do things?
    4. Why do I need to have Person A around me and affecting me?
    5. I need to get rid of Person A.
    6. Person A is to be blamed for my anger, especially if I’m lashing
    out at other innocent people.
    7. I have a reason to be angry, and I am justified.
    8. The other people I lash out my anger towards should agree with me
    that Person A is stupid, and that I have the right to be angry.
    9. The other people should also see how stupid Person A is, and
    probably do something about Person A, so that Person A does not do
    stupid things to provoke my anger.

  17. Haha…I hope to learn from you and eventually overcome this. When written out like this and observed as a third person, it feels okay and might even be funny. However, when I was in the thick of it, and got sucked into the anger, it might cause much unintended damage that I want to alleviate.

  18. Of course. that is what makes it funny. the dichotomy: angry-wanting to annihilate vs. angry-not wanting to hurt

    I think the whole thing is hinging on you wanting to do the right thing and not wanting to be angry… suppression.

    I might be wrong, but there is something about you wanting to be proper, and nice, and good… and it is killing you.

  19. Yes, I think you’re right. Perhaps I have learned that self criticism is good, and I might be over doing it. Almost everyday, when I go to sleep, I say to myself that I want to be a better person tomorrow. A really good person.

  20. You see, Christianity decided that even your thoughts are sin. This is how the religion created misery and suppression.

    Getting angry is normal, having the thoughts of killing is normal, albeit not pleasant.

    Practice allowing anger when you feel it… practice when the object of your anger is not there. Allow it and watch it disappear.

    Also, try to separate your anger and others’ anger… it feels just like yours, and then the mind tries to justify it.

    Some of the anger you feel is not yours.

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